Being Optimistic
generates and you enter a spiral of
pessimism; because if it is out of your
control, there is nothing you can do to
change the situation and see a more
diaphanous and optimistic future.
Sandra De Nóbrega
What differentiates an Optimist from a
Pessimist? Are we born optimistic, or
do we learn to be?
Just to introduce the subject of
optimism I will refer to a study by Marty
Seligman and Steve Maier conducted in
1964, which concluded for the first time,
that suffering is not what leads to
hopelessness; what effectively takes
people to that state is their perception
that this suffering is out of their control
and when you feel that something is out
of your control, you stop looking for
ways to solve it and stop visualizing a
better future, that is the key to an
optimistic person.
Pessimists and optimists can identify
the same event as negative; the big
difference lies in how an optimist
catalogues the causes that generated
that event. When optimists explain the
causes of an event that leads them to
suffer, they refer to these causes as
temporary and specific to the event,
while pessimists find that the causes of
the same event are permanent and
pervasive. As you can realize, when you
perceive that the cause of what makes
you suffer is permanent and
omnipresent then you can feel that it is
out of your control and therefore you
are at the mercy of the suffering that it
When you're a pessimist, you don't just
diminish your ability to challenge and
change the situation, you're also more
likely to suffer from anxiety and
depression and be less resilient, so it
might take a little longer to recover from
an unpleasant situation. At the other
end, optimists tend to be more satisfied
with their decisions and have more
opportunities to excel. The good news is
that optimism is a competence we can
develop. It's a gift of the neuroplasticity
of our brain that we can't waste.
So, if you are facing a bad event.
Try this: Ask yourself, what are the
reasons behind this event? For example,
if you did not deliver a project on time,
identify the cause you identified, if you
think it was because you do not have the
ability or the competence for that
project then you are appealing to a
permanent cause that inclines you to be
more pessimistic, if on the contrary you
identified causes such as, that the
project did not motivate you
particularly, or that it required some
knowledge that you do not yet have,
you are appealing to a temporary and
specific cause, and therefore you can
find the solution and cultivate being
more optimistic.
Whenever you become aware that you
are using a pervasive and permanent
cause to explain an event, ask yourself
“What is under my control that may
have originated this event?”, once you
Being Optimistic
identify it, ask yourself "being under my
control, what can I do to make this
situation better or not happen again?".
Another way to develop your Optimism,
start by exploring your belief about
your talent. Why do this? Because
studies by Carol Dweck have shown that
when people believe they were born
with an innate amount of talent, they
question their ability to grow and also
give up more easily an event that they
believe they do not have the ability to
solve and consequently they become
less
optimistic.
Carol
Dweck's
recommendation to develop a growth
mindset that is associated with
optimism is to recognize effort over
natural talent.
Every time you find yourself saying that
I am not good at math, or I am not good
at reading, you are reinforcing a fixed
mentality, when you recognize that you
have not made enough effort this gives
you the possibility to change your
approach, and boosts the development
of a growth mindset, because if you
haven't made enough effort, you could
do it and then your reality is not
determined by your natural talent, but
by the effort you put into it.
Try this: Every time you find yourself
telling yourself that you don't have
enough talent to face something or
explaining
that
someone
else
accomplishes something because they
have a lot of talent, remember that
effortless talent is just wasted potential.
So, following Angela Duckworth's
suggestion, update your beliefs about
your intelligence and talent; although
not a common suggestion on the topic
of Optimism, science has found that the
relationship between these beliefs and
your growth mindset and optimism is
direct.
There are other practices related to
developing optimism that I will be
sharing in this article, but I have
preferred to focus on this first two less
widespread and still powerful practices,
that are also totally at your fingertips.
So, in short, my main suggested
practices to support you in your process
of being more optimistic are:
Question the reasons that in your
opinion, explain the negative events.
Become aware if you use permanent
versus temporary, general versus
specific reasons; and question the
causes of that event, every time you
think they're pervasive and
permanent. Remember, the event
itself does not differentiate the
pessimists from the optimists, the
causes we perceive for that event, if
it does.
Identify your belief regarding your
Intelligence and talent and reinforce
recognition of yourself and others
from effort above talent. When you
recognize the effort above talent,
you realize that limits are selfimposed, and your vision of the
future is more optimistic and
enhances a growth mindset.
If you want to take advantage of other
activities, better known, that will allow
you to develop Optimism are:
Try this:
Being Optimistic
1. Visualize the results you want and
the steps to reach them. Don't
forget to visualize the steps. That
differentiates a person who is
positive from a person who is
optimistic
2. Taking care of your health and
monitoring sugar levels and thyroid
function, both have a major impact
on your emotionality.
3. Surround yourself with people you
want to resemble, if you want to be
optimistic, filter who you are with
and the information you decide to
consume.
4. Rescue a hobby and save a space of
time to practice it at least once a
month, and them more frequently.
5. Keep a circle of close friends and/or
family and reserve a space to share
with them.
6. Move. Includes a physical exercise
practice that keeps you moving
daily. Better 15 minutes than none.
7. Speak gently, every time you find
yourself being hard on yourself,
capture the dialogue and change it
for something gentler.
8. In common situations, stop and
integrate the positive experience. If
you like coffee, enjoy it consciously,
when walking, stop in front of a
beautiful place and enjoy it, when
you eat, taste your food and become
aware of the feeling of well-being
9. Set limits on people and toxic
situations.
10. Connect your purpose with your
activities.
11. Help others, it has been proven that
the well-being generated by giving
lasts longer and is much more
significant and makes you more
optimistic.
12. Smile, your brain will believe you
and align with that smile without
asking what generated it.
13. Be by the side of someone you love
and reciprocate, the longest study in
human behavior, showed that this is
key to our well-being.
14. Appreciate your present moment,
and question yourself, if a
pessimistic thought is due to
something that is happening at that
moment or something that you are
anticipating. I share news with you,
in 92% of the cases that terrible
thing that you think will happen, will
never happen.
15. I know it's easier to say something
than to end up doing it; and even so,
I insist on asking you to raise
awareness in differentiating what is
under your control and what is not.
If you are frustrated by something
that is not under your control, since
you have no way to influence it, you
will remain in a pessimistic state.
When you focus on what is under
your control, you will find ways to
improve it, sometimes it will be
easier than others, but it will always
be possible.
Finally, and above all things keep in
mind the power of simplicity, the little
things in life have the power to give us
countless reasons to be optimistic, but
first we have to make the decision to be
optimistic and commit to taking actions
that bring us closer to that state of
optimism, which we now know, brings
us closer to our best states of
productivity. If you find this list
overwhelming, choose three or one
practice and start with it. Small changes
can lead to a big transformation.
Being Optimistic
I wish you many smiles
www.sandradenobrega.com
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