Steps to Leaps Self-Improvement Tools to Bolster Student Fortitude & Success Created by Students for Students GRIT Steps to Resolve and Character Name:___________________________ Date:___________ Keturah "KT" S. Onukwuli Keturah "KT" S. Onukwuli is an Air Force Veteran currently working at the United States Air Force (USAF) Academy where she teaches the officers of tomorrow the perseverance, tenacity and commitment that can help them surmount any obstacle. Successfully completing an Ironman triathlon during her deployment in Qatar, Keturah captivates the hearts and minds of many with her faith and wisdom. These are her stories. 1. What does it mean to have grit or be resilient? I believe that to be resilient, a person has to not only experience hardship, but endure, cope and "bounce back" from said hardship. Every one of us will experience heartache and tough circumstances throughout life—that is a promise. Nonetheless, the people who can identify what they are going through and move beyond those struggles are the ones who best exhibit grit. I also think the people who best exhibit resiliency have a trait called metacognition, which is the ability for someone to use prior knowledge to plan a strategy for approaching a task, take the necessary steps to problem solve, reflect on and evaluate results, and modify one’s approach as needed. In layman's terms, those who have strong metacognitive skills can literally think about their own thinking processes and take the time to think about and learn from their mistakes or inaccuracies. 2. Who is the most resilient person you know? Why? My husband Francis is the most resilient person I know. Our relationship was once considered taboo as his family is Nigerian, while my family is multi-ethnic (Jamaican, Japanese, Indigenous American and African-American). Although his parents did not approve of us being together, Francis was resilient in his pursuit of me as his bride—he proposed and we eloped six months later! While his family here in America and Nigeria were extremely critical of our marriage at first, his ability to wear a brave face in spite of his parents' disapproval won the respect of his siblings...and his parents eventually came around as well. 3. When was a time where you embodied one of these traits? What were you thinking in that (those) moment(s)? When I deployed to Qatar in 2014, I was bored with my workout routine and decided to sign up for an Ironman competition to lift a combined total of 500 or more pounds in the bench press, squat and deadlift. Keep in mind that I weigh 120 pounds! My deployment team of 17 people thought I was crazy to sign up for the competition, but I thought to myself: what would I lose by trying? Unfortunately, after a month of weight training, I experienced food poisoning for two weeks. I ended up losing about 10 pounds, which was not an ideal circumstance considering my goal. In that moment, I thought about not finishing my training, but as my body finally recovered from eating crappy deployment food, I realized that I would still have three months to gain the weight back and train. So that's exactly what I did. After getting back to good health, I resumed training six days a week (and sometimes twice a day) and gained the weight back through healthy supplementation (shout out to Amazon Prime's overseas shipping). I completed the Ironman competition two days before I left Qatar and ended up lifting a total weight of 525 pounds! The setback of sickness made me appreciate that accomplishment even more. 2 4. What would you say to someone who is facing the trials of life? I would first ask them what their support system is and then recommend that they tap into and engage that system for help and support. For me, that overarching system is my Christian faith, so regularly attending church, serving others and doing life with other Christians is a key part of maintaining my strength when facing trials. While everyone does not subscribe to the Christian faith, each of us has networks of help and support from people such as family, friends and colleagues. In a modern society that champions unhealthy and unrealistic levels of independence, it is still honorable to lean over and say "I need help." Just as Eve was designed for Adam in the Garden of Eden, we were not designed to do life alone. There is no trial that you will face that someone hasn't already experienced, so I would tell them that there's wisdom and protection in learning from another's heartaches and mistakes. 3 Jacqueline Evon Scott Jacqueline Evon Scott is an Air Force veteran, with deployments to Afghanistan and Cuba. She retired as a Master Sargeant and decided to continue and serve her country by becoming a contracting manager for the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service and later the Bureau of Land Management. She separates herself from the pack with her high level of performance and consistent work ethic. These are her stories. 1. What does it mean to have grit or be resilient? My father would tell me that I was "a little piece of leather, but well put together." I am not sure I quite understood the analogy, but I felt that he was saying I was tough, which made me feel good. Standing at 5 feet, 1 inch tall, I had no shortage of individuals telling me what they felt I was or was not capable of. I took pride in proving them wrong. It would ignite my fire. There are other things that would ignite my fire, but that is another story. Understanding ourselves and how to get out of our own way is a large part of our battles. I often say that we have to learn how to "beat ourselves at ourselves." To have grit (to me) is having the mental, spiritual and physical fortitude to endure life. To recognize life for what it is and is not, while pursuing a life's passion that requires us to fall down and to get up. It requires us to learn, experience and to evolve. There is a search and expectation that each time I get up I am evolving and learning. I have the belief that I am resilient enough to endure the pain of growth with the faith that I will be stronger (mentally, physically and/or spiritually) by enduring. Grit and resiliency are partners. Grit is the toughness to keep going, while resilience is the ability to get back up after a "fall." 2. Who is the most resilient person you know? Why? I feel like everyone I've met has a story demonstrating grit and resiliency. I have not met anyone who displays both constantly. Most have endured with valor, but most have also been sad, discouraged, disheartened and/or depressed at one point or another. The world is full of judgment. I am most impressed by individuals who are confident, secure, caring and focused. These traits will endure and produce grit and resiliency when needed. 4 3. When was a time where you embodied one of these traits? What were you thinking in that (those) moment(s)? There are many instances, such as: 1. Change and transitions (i.e. primary to middle school, middle school to high school, high school to college, military, divorce etc.). 2. Military "Bootcamp." 3. Not meeting self-imposed expectations, self-disappointment and the expectations of others 4. Accusations, abuse, bullying, mistreatment and fear. What was I thinking: that I could not give up and that I had to find a way to keep going. I needed to find a solution or die. I had to attack the problem by searching for the truth, the why and a desired outcome. I told myself that quitting and the possible "And then what?" that would ensue if I did not keep going was not an option. Sometimes I was so fatigued that I had to crawl for help. Sometimes I only had a quick burst of clarity that I was able to run for help. I found help in books, people and prayer. 4. What would you say to someone who is facing the trials of life? Keep going. Keep exercising the mental muscle, the physical muscles, the spiritual muscle and they will grow. The "muscle" growth makes it easier to cope with life. I would not want to invalidate their feels; I would listen and want them to know that it gets better. I would ask: (1) What are you thinking? (2) Have you made any decisions? (3) What are those decisions? (4) How do your decisions address your issue(s)? I would then ask how they believe their decision addresses their issue or does it just soothe an emotion? I like to ask myself, "And then what?" I would ask them the same. I would share what I have come to understand and that is what I control and what I do not control. I would share how I learned to laugh at myself. I would share how the expectations of others controlled my life and how I overcame those challenges. I want them to know that this is part of the human experience and that they are not alone. 5 “Know Thyself” A Grit Interview Exercise 1. What does it mean to have grit or be resilient? 2. Who is the most resilient person you know? Why? 6 3. When was a time where you embodied one of these traits? What were you thinking in that (those) moment(s)? 4. What would you say to someone who is facing the trials of life? Conclusion: By now you have read the interview(s) of some members of the U.S Air Force and reflected on the same questions they did, so as you begin your journey here at Purdue remember the words you read and wrote today. You are an accomplished and capable student who can surmount any obstacle placed in your way. BOILER UP, HAMMER DOWN! 7
