Psychological and physical abuse in
Normal People
Literature essay
2024/2025
Student: Uxue Ortiz Etxebarria
Subject: Communicative Competence in English
Normal People is a novel written by Sally Rooney and published in 2018. The story is about
the relationship between Marianne and Connell, and how it is affected by each’s personal
environment. In fact, throught this essay I will take a critical look at Marianne’s family
environment and how this has a clear consequence on her personality; which are some
principal topics throughout the novel. The aim of this essay is to confirm the following
hypothesis: lack of affection and validation from her family is the main reason for her to
struggle with self-acceptance and increases her insecurities.
She seeks validation from her mother, who exhibits emotional neglect toward Marianne,
never offering encouragement, affection or recognition, an issue that has been long-standing
for Marianne, leading her to feel unloved and unworthy. This attitude may be linked to the
abuse both Denise and Mariane suffered from the father in the past, which could explain the
behaviour of Denise, who projects her frustration at her daughter and normalizes abuse
behaviour. On some occasions, she even justifies the aggressive behaviour of Alan, her
brother. This is evidenced in the novel when Marianne reflects on her mother’s reaction to the
abuse she undergoes from Alan:
“Don’t tell Mam about this, he says. Marianne shakes her head. No, she agrees. But it
wouldn’t matter if she did tell her, not really. Denise decided a long time ago that it is
acceptable for men to use aggression towards Marianne as a way of expressing themselves.
As a child Marianne resisted, but now she simply detaches, as if it isn’t of any interest to her,
which in a way it isn’t. Denise considers this a symptom of her daughter’s frigid and
unlovable personality. She believes Marianne lacks ‘warmth’, by which she means the ability
to beg for love from people who hate her” (p.54)
“Last time I was home my brother told me I should kill myself” …
“Would you not tell your mother if he talked to you like that?
She was there, says Marianne”...
“What did she say? he asks. As in, how did she react?
I think she said something like, oh, don’t encourage her”. (p.139)
Alan is disrespectful and rude with Marianne, often challenging authority and being abusive
towards her not only psychologically, but also hurting her physically. He insults, humiliates
and even hits her on several occasions:
“Are you listening to me? said Alan.
Yes, you feel sorry for me, I’m listening.
You’re fucking pathetic, so you are”. (p.111)
“Before she’s really aware of what’s happening, Alan lifts his arm and throws the bottle at
her. It smashes behind her on the tiles. On some level she knows that he can’t have intended
to hit her; they’re only standing a few feet apart and it missed her completely. Still she runs
past him, up the stairs. She feels her body racing through the cool interior air. He turns and
follows her but she manages to make it into her room, pushing herself hard against the door,
before he catches up…” “...She hears a cracking noise when it connects with her face, then a
strange feeling inside her head. She steps backwards while Alan enters the room…” “...Her
nose is running really quite badly. Lifting the hand away now, she sees that her fingers are
covered in blood, warm blood, wet”. (p.180)
The lack of affection and abuse in the family environment has a significant impact on how
Marianne perceives herself and how she relates to others. This fact contributes to developing
a dysfunctional view of her self-esteem, convinced that she deserves to be treated cruelly, as
evidenced when she reflects: “Sometimes I think I must deserve it. Otherwise I don't know
why it would happen” (p.139), a sentence in which it is clearly shown that Marianne
attributes the abuse to her perceived unworthiness. Moreover, this feeling is reinforced in
other statements from the book: “She tries to be a good person. But deep down she knows she
is a bad person, corrupted, wrong, and all her efforts to be right, to have the right opinions, to
say the right things, these efforts only disguise what is buried inside her, the evil part of
herself” (p.180).
A study published in BMC Public Health “Effects of positive and negative childhood
experiences on adult family health ” of Daines et al. (2021, p.6), reinforces this stating that:
“Children that experience more emotional support from family or social networks may have
better long-term mental health outcomes and less chronic health issues as they age, which are
important family health resources” (p. 6). Similarly, Ferrer et al. (2015, p.1), state: "Close
parent–child relationships are viewed as important for the development of global self-esteem”
Therefore, her internalized feeling of inadequacy also has a strong impact in her
relationships, in particular with Jamie and Lukas. Jamie’s abusive behaviour, such as his
enjoyment of dominating her: “ I suggested it to him… he likes to beat me up” (p.105),
reflects the mistreatment she experienced at home, something she tolerates, since she believes
she deserves it.
Furthermore, Lukas uses Marianne’s willingness to submit to further his own desires: “She
and Lukas have had an arrangement for a few weeks now. Lukas calls it ‘the game’. Like any
game, there are some rules. Marianne is not allowed to talk or make eye contact while the
game is going on. If she breaks the rules, she gets punished later…” “ …He tells her bad
things about herself. It’s hard to know whether Marianne likes to hear those things; she
desires to hear them, but she’s conscious by now of being able to desire in some sense what
she does not want” (p.144). Both relationships perpetuate the patterns of control and harm
established in her family environment.
However, Connell treats Marianne differently offering her a healthier connection. This is
evidenced when she asks him to hit her: “Will you hit me?” (p.177), and he refuses: “ No, he
says. I don’t think I want that. Sorry” (p.177), and in the way he protects her against Alan on
one occasion when he hits her: “If you ever touch Marianne again, I’ll kill you, he says.
Okay? That’s all. Say one bad thing to her ever again and I’ll come back here myself and kill
you, that’s it” (p. 188)
In conclusion, it could be argued that the hypothesis is confirmed: Marianne’s lack of
affection and validation from her family profoundly impacts her self-esteem and
relationships. Through critical analysis, it has become evident that her mother’s neglect and
her brother’s abuse lead Marianne to internalize feelings of unworthiness, reflected in her
acceptance of harmful dynamics with Jamie and Lukas.
References:
- Rooney. S. (2018). Normal People. Faber & Faber.
- Daines, C.L., Hansen, D., Novilla, M.L.B. et al. Effects of positive and negative
childhood experiences on adult family health. BMC Public Health 21, 651 (2021).
https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-021-10732-w
- Harris, M. A., Gruenenfelder-Steiger, A. E., Ferrer, E., Donnellan, M. B., Allemand,
M., Fend, H., Conger, R. D., & Trzesniewski, K. H. (2015). Do parents foster
self-esteem? Testing the prospective impact of parent closeness on adolescent
self-esteem. Child Development. https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.12356
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