The American Journal of Psychoanalysis, 2022, 82, (426–455) 2022 Association for the Advancement of Psychoanalysis 0002-9548/22 www.palgrave.com/journals Article WHOSE GENITALIA ARE INVOLVED IN THE DISSOLUTION OF THE OEDIPUS COMPLEX IN BOYS? Rachel Karniol1 This paper addresses the issue of whose genitalia are involved in the dissolution of the castration complex in boys. Freud and his followers suggested several different possibilities which are elaborated herein, and these alternative models are discussed from the perspective of psychological research regarding children’s emergent gender identity and their awareness of genital differences. The reviewed data show that contrary to Freudian theory, preschool children’s emergent gender identity is not dependent on their awareness of genital differences. However, preschoolers with younger siblings, primarily opposite gender ones, evidence greater understanding of genital differences, as Freud suggested. The discussion emphasizes the importance of children’s family constellation and their awareness of self-other similarity and dissimilarity in the development of their gender identity. KEY WORDS: Castration anxiety in boys; dissolution of Oedipus complex; self – other genital comparison; family constellation https://doi.org/10.1057/s11231-022-09347-w There is a theoretical conundrum that has not been adequately addressed in the psychoanalytic literature regarding the dissolution of the Oedipus complex in boys. The conundrum concerns whose nude genitalia initiate the dissolution process. Specifically, there are several alternatives that have been discussed by Freud and others without sufficient attention as to the possible implications of the differences between them. These differences are important because of the diverse cognitive processes implicated in each alternative and the developmental timeline of these cognitive processes in early versus middle childhood. As I elaborate, depending on whether exposure to the genitalia of female children, female adults, one’s female siblings, or one’s mother, is deemed critical for the dissolution of the Oedipus complex, each type of exposure necessitates fundamentally Rachel Karniol, PhD, Researcher, author, Professor Emerita of Social Development, School of Psychological Sciences, Tel Aviv University, Israel. Address correspondence to Dr. Rachel Karniol, School of Psychological Sciences, Tel Aviv University, Ramat Aviv, 69978 Tel Aviv, Israel. E-mail: [email protected] DISSOLUTION OF THE OEDIPUS COMPLEX IN BOYS 427 different cognitive and inferential processes to set in motion castration anxiety. Extant research suggests that the timeline for the emergence of these cognitive and inferential processes does not parallel the Freudian timeline for the onset of castration anxiety and the dissolution of the Oedipus complex. Against this backdrop, the current paper outlines Freud’s conceptualization of castration anxiety, addresses the alternative developmental models explicitly or implicitly suggested by Freud and his followers, reviews the state of knowledge of psychological research in this domain, and attempts to resolve the above conundrum in light of the reviewed data. THE ONSET OF CASTRATION ANXIETY The castration complex was viewed by Freud as the critical psychic mechanism that boys develop to cope with their discovery of anatomical differences between the sexes—the presence of a penis in males and its absence in females. There are four steps implicated in Freud’s discussion of the emergence of the castration complex in boys. The first step involves boy’s initial conviction as to the universal possession of a penis. As Freud writes ‘‘they start out with the assumption that the same genital organ (the male one) is possessed by both sexes …’’ (1914, p. 55). So, boys generalize from their own possession of a penis to all human beings having a penis, as voiced by a preschooler who exclaimed, ‘‘Everybody has a penis, only girls wear barrettes’’ (Bem, 1993, p. 149). That is, visible differences between boys and girls—clothes, hair styles, and hair accessories—are used to differentiate between them when anatomies are deemed to be identical. The second step involves a real or imagined threat to the integrity of one’s penis. Thus, Freud cites Little Hans’ mother warning him about masturbating at age 3-1/2, ‘‘If you do that, I shall send for Dr. A. to cut off your widdler’’ (Freud, 1909, pp. 7–8), a threat apparently common among mothers and nurses in response to child masturbation (Freud, 1917). Although such threats of castration are voiced by women, castration itself is attributed to men: fathers, doctors, etc., with fear of the father as the potential castrating agent setting castration anxiety in motion. This is important because the father figure is ‘‘the basis for normal masculinity’’ (Lampl-DeGroot, 1952) and identification with the potential castrating agent is integral to the dissolution process and the emergence of the superego. In fact, the father must loom in the boy’s mind as both a rival for the mother’s love and as a model for masculinity (Olesker, 2003). In the third step, the sight of the naked female body induces awareness of anatomical differences between the sexes. Freud believed that pre-phallic 428 KARNIOL development was essentially the same for both sexes and their development only diverges after the child’s emergent awareness of the anatomical distinction between the sexes (Person & Ovesey, 1983). According to Freud, this awareness is shocking because, first, it undermines the assumption that anatomically everyone is the same, spurring the recognition that ‘‘everyone is not like me.’’ Second, female genitalia are viewed as missing the male appendage, with the penis having been ‘‘cut off,’’ reflecting the idea that girls and women have likely been castrated. Freud (1938a) stipulates that upon ‘‘the sight of the absence of a penis in females,’’ the boy ‘‘experiences the greatest trauma of his life’’ (p. 155). In fact, about 10% of boys aged 5 to 11 reported that when they first saw girls’ genitals they thought it had been ‘‘cut off’’ (Conn, 1940; see also Levy, 1940). Hence, it is the implicit comparison of the male anatomy with the female genitals ‘‘which creates the fear of being sadistically robbed of the penis’’ (Abraham, 1974, p 70; cf. Lowenstein, 1950). Circumcision ceremonies may well contribute to this fear. In Jewish homes, male children are circumcised on their 8th day, a ceremony Freud attended at 18 months when his younger brother was circumcised. Freud (1913) suggested that Jewish children equate this ceremony with castration2 (p. 53). In fact, Jacobs (2015) reports of a child who developed phobic reactions (i.e., refusal to urinate) subsequent to another 3-year-old informing him that the ceremony they were attending was focused on the newborn’s penis being cut. The unique association of circumcision with baby boys was well noted by a 71-month-old Israeli Jewish girl with a baby brother who said that a girl could not become a boy because she cannot be circumcised (Karniol, 2009). In the critical fourth step, the threat of castration and the perception of females as castrated merge, requiring boys to engage in psychological ‘‘work’’ to avoid this catastrophic possibility and develop a healthy gender role identity. As a consequence, the Oedipus complex ‘‘is not simply repressed, it is literally smashed to pieces by the shock of threatened castration…. the super-ego has become its heir’’ (Freud, 1925, p. 257), and the ‘‘guardian of memories of the threat and agent in its possible reactualization’’ (Santamarı́a, 2018; but see Lebovici, 1982; Zepf & Zepf, 2010). Critical to the developmental sequence above, then, is exposure to nude female genitalia. But whose nude genitalia? As I elaborate below, there are multiple possibilities, each involving different cognitive processes, inferential processes, and generalizations. The puzzle here is that the ability to generalize, and particularly, generalize from self to others, is limited in early childhood; yet this ability is critical for the child’s development of a model DISSOLUTION OF THE OEDIPUS COMPLEX IN BOYS 429 of genital differences and the subsequent onset castration anxiety, to which I now turn. ALTERNATIVE MODELS OF NUDE GENITALIA IN THE ONSET OF CASTRATION ANXIETY In classical psychoanalytic theory, different discussions implicate the nude genitalia of different individuals or categories of individuals as critical to the onset of castration anxiety. The first and most simple model (Figure 1, Model A) involves the male child becoming aware of his mother’s lack of a penis following exposure to her genitalia. Building on Ferenczi’s (1923) discussion of the myth of Medusa, Freud discussed the importance of the sight of the mother’s genitals saying that when the boy ‘‘catches sight of the female genitals, probably those of an adult, surrounded by hair, and essentially those of his mother’’ (Freud, 1941, p. 69), this energizes the onset of castration anxiety. The mother’s genitalia per se is similarly underlined in Fenichel’s (1944) discussion of ‘‘the terrifying sight of the female (maternal) genitalia’’ (p. 128), and in discussions of fetishism (e.g., Bak, 1953; Findlay, 1992) and voyeurism (e.g., Róheim, 1945), with these theorists emphasizing that the mother’s genitalia are of focus. Freud saw his mother as the critical individual. In a letter to Fliess, Freud (1897, p. 268) refers to his mother’s nude body, saying ‘‘there must have been an opportunity of seeing her nudam,’’ likely when on a train with his Figure 1: Model A. Boy realizes his mother has no penis. 430 KARNIOL pregnant mother. Aarons (1975) suggests that because the mother is the original love object, ‘‘what is traumatically disturbing is the detection of the mother’s imperfection’’ (p. 201), (i.e., seeing her nude genitalia). Some (e.g., Aarons, 1975; Basch, 1981; Jones, 1933) have argued that the boy temporarily needs to believe that his mother does possess a penis since such a belief provides ‘‘reassurance that no castration has taken place’’ (Jones, 1933, p. 14). Based on his conversations with Freud, Brunswick (1940) suggests that the perception of the mother as castrated by the father is crucial and that ‘‘with the final recognition of the mother’s castration and the possibility of his own at the hands of the father, the Oedipus complex of the little boy is destroyed’’ (p. 299). In this view, then, the comparative sight of the mother’s genitalia is critical. Note that this simple model does not require categorization of the mother as female nor any generalization regarding the genitalia of other females. The comparison is of the mother’s genitalia relative to the child’s own genitalia, and viewing the mother’s genitalia as missing the relevant appendage. Moreover, in this model, selflabeling as male is unnecessary for castration anxiety to emerge. A second possibility, shown in Figure 2 as Model B, involves exposure to the genitalia of another female adult (e.g., referred to as a governess by Freud), without exposure to the mother’s genitalia. This more sophisticated model involves generalization from one female adult to another female adult, namely the mother, by invoking the category of female to infer the similarity between them. That is, the model requires generalization from one female adult to the species of females, and to one’s mother, and need not necessarily involve the child’s own self-labeling as male. Yet this type of generalization is quite difficult for preschool children who do not tend to generalize across non-identical exemplars of a category with multiple features (Krascum & Andrews, 1993). Freud implicated Model B (cf. Fenichel, 1931, p. 420) in discussing his governess till the age of 3, saying ‘‘She was my instructress in sexual matters’’ (Freud, 1897, Letter to Fliess, October 4, 1897, p. 269). But Figure 2: Model B. Boy realizes governess has no penis, generalizes this to all women, including his mother. DISSOLUTION OF THE OEDIPUS COMPLEX IN BOYS 431 Freud did not discuss generalization from the governess to his mother, nor to the category of female adults. A third possibility, shown in Figure 3 as Model C, involves the male child becoming aware of genital differences after being exposed to the genitalia of a female sibling or a female peer. As in Model A, this awareness does not require generalization regarding the genitalia of adult females, nor does it require the child to categorize his female sibling or female peer as being in the same category as adult females. As in Model A, the comparison involves the female sibling’s genitalia relative to the child’s own genitalia. Again, it is unclear whether this model requires the child to self-label as male or only to view himself as possessing different genitalia than his sister or female peer. In Freud’s early writings, this model features prominently, with Freud focusing on the early belief in the universality of one’s own genitalia, and subsequent exposure to the anatomical ‘‘distinction between the sexes’’ (Freud, 1914, p. 54). Freud proposed that the boy compares himself directly with his female sibling, and that due to the absence of a penis ‘‘in a creature so like himself,’’ the ‘‘loss of his own penis becomes imaginable, and the threat of castration achieves its delayed effect’’ (Freud, 1924a, p. 175). Yet Freud argues that at first, neither the threat of castration by itself nor the sight of the female genitals by itself, are sufficient to induce a change, because potentially, ‘‘what was missing would yet make its appearance: she would grow one (a penis) later’’ (Freud, 1938b, p. 276). In fact, Little Hans, seeing his newborn sister being bathed, remarked that ‘‘her widdler’s still quite small…when she grows up it’ll get bigger’’ (1909, p. 11). It is only when the threat of castration, the memory of the female sibling’s absent genitalia and the valued appendage are jointly present in his mind, that ‘‘the Figure 3: Model C. Boy realizes his baby sister has no penis. 432 KARNIOL reality of the danger of castration’’ (Freud, 1938b, p. 276) impacts the boy’s psychological world. A variation on the above, shown in Figure 4 as Model D, involves generalization from one’s sister or female peer to the category of female children. Freud implicates this model too, saying, ‘‘an accidental sight of the genitals of a little sister or little playmate provides the occasion’’ for the boy’s discovery ‘‘that the penis is not a possession which is common to all creatures that are like himself’’ (Freud, 1923, p. 142). Exposure to little girls urinating may play a role, as Freud notes, ‘‘in unusually intelligent children, the observation of girls urinating will even earlier have aroused a suspicion that there is something different here. For they will have seen a different posture and heard a different sound’’ (1923, p. 142). This is important because toilet training in boys emphasizes the function of the penis, with the contrast requiring the child to come to terms ‘‘with castration in relation to himself ‘‘ (p. 144). Cognitively, this model entails self-labeling as a boy and categorization of the female sibling as a member of the female child category. This type of generalization is posited by Bornstein (1953) who says that threats of castration ‘‘become effective when the child finally convinces himself that girls do not possess the organ in which he had taken such a narcissistic pride’’ (p. 67). In this more sophisticated model, then, the child has to see himself as an instance of the category of male children and to categorize his sister or female peer as instances of the category of female children. Yet another possibility, shown in Figure 5 as Model E, is similar to the previous model but includes a further generalization, categorizing the baby sister or female peer as members of the female category, recognizing that the absence of a penis is symptomatic of all female bodies, including that of his mother. This type of generalization is evident in Freud’s discussion of Little Hans’ desire to see his mother’s and his governess’ genitals, with Freud Figure 4: Model D. Boy realizes baby sister has no penis and generalizes this to all girls. DISSOLUTION OF THE OEDIPUS COMPLEX IN BOYS 433 Figure 5: Model E. Boy realizes baby sister has no penis, categorizes her as female, generalizes the lack of a penis to all females, including his mother. proposing that the child be told that ‘‘his mother and all other female beings, as he could see from Hanna (i.e., his baby sister) had no widdler at all’’ (Freud, 1909, p. 28). Generalization is also relevant in Edgecumbe and Brugner’s (1975) description of a child of 28 months who repeatedly asked his father and mother whether they had a penis. He was subsequently able to generalize, differentiating adults as male or female based on their having, or lacking, a penis. Importantly, Freud stipulates that generalization from the sight of the genitals of a little girl or female sibling to that of mother or of women in general is not automatic and ‘‘it is only subsequent to this [i.e., the recognition that little girls do not have a penis—author’s addition] that the recognition that women are castrated emerges’’ (Freud, 1924b, p. 421). At first, though, the boy infers that ‘‘it is only unworthy female persons that have lost their genitals—females who, in all probability, were guilty of inadmissible impulses [i.e., to masturbate—author’s note] similar to his own’’ (Freud, 1923, p. 144). This option, then, invokes the category of female and builds on the recognition that female babies and little girls grow up to be adult females, gender stability knowledge that is not generally evident in children prior to age 4 (Thompson & Bentler, 1973; Eaton, Von Bargen, & Keats, 1981). The critical aspects of this model, then, include a comparison of the boy’s own genitalia relative to the little girl’s genitalia, an understanding that female babies and little girls are included in the female category, and that category members share the same features. As Gelman, Collman and Maccoby (1986) showed, such knowledge is only evident in preschool children at around age 4. Importantly, this model builds on the ability to self-label as male and to view oneself in contradistinction to the category of females. The most sophisticated possibility, shown in Figure 6 as Model F, builds on all the features of Model E but adds the understanding of the unique 434 KARNIOL Figure 6: Model F. Boy realizes baby sister has no penis, categorizes her as female, learns that women get pregnant and have babies, generalizes the lack of a penis to all females, including his mother. aspect of women as bearing children and giving birth. That is, in model F, the boy understands that little girls not only grow up to be adult women, but that adult women differ from men not only in their genitalia but also in their bodily functions. Men do not get pregnant or give birth. Boys acquire the knowledge that mother is a grown-up girl who can give birth to a baby, can nurse a baby, and engage in care-taking functions, whereas fathers are grown-up boys who cannot give birth or nurse a baby but may engage in some care-taking functions. Hence, this most sophisticated model builds on the child’s discovery of the origin of babies and that only women give birth (Freud. 1923, p. 144). Fenichel (1929) suggests that even without exposure to female genitals, the observation of a pregnancy or birth may be sufficient to set the process in motion. Importantly, in this model, there is self-labeling as male, category-based generalizations, and a concomitant understanding of gender stability and of how men and women differ anatomically. All six models include the assumption that the male child compares the female anatomy to his own anatomy, focuses on the absence of the appendage he values so highly, and consequently experiences castration anxiety. But as outlined above, the models differ in terms of whose genitalia is relevant to the emergence of castration anxiety and their implications as to the kinds of cognitive work that boys have to engage in to experience castration anxiety. Several of the models build on the acquisition of concepts like ‘‘big girl/big boy,’’ ‘‘lady/woman/man,’’ and an understanding of the relation between these concepts, as well as the understanding of gender as a stable aspect of development (i.e., big girls become ladies/women, big boys become men). As elaborated above, all six models are evident in psychoanalytic discussions of the castration complex without due attention to the cognitive processes implicated in each. In a rare treatise, Blumberg (1996), poses that it does not matter whose genitalia are involved, and notes, DISSOLUTION OF THE OEDIPUS COMPLEX IN BOYS 435 In the oedipal drama, the boy sees the female genitals, assumes that his mother or sister (or whomever he first encounters undressed [emphasis added]) once had a penis which has disappeared. He interprets the disappearance as the result of castration, fears the same fate will befall him, and gives up both his intense interest in his own genitals and his erotic desire for his mother in order to avoid this fate (p. 502). In this context, Galenson and Roiphe (1980) contend that ‘‘genital difference as a generalization which applies to all males and females becomes established only gradually over time’’ (p. 824) but they do not address the cognitive processes required for such generalization to develop. Several theorists (e.g., Abelin, 1971) have suggested—in contrast to Freud—that exposure to the father’s nude body and his genitalia results in unfavorable comparison with the boy’s own genitalia and thereby exacerbates the castration complex. In this view, not only does the child have to come to grips with the genital differences between the sexes, but he must also deal psychologically with the apparent immaturity of his own genitalia relative to that of his father. Although Freud clarifies that Little Hans had never seen his mother’s, or his father’s, genitals, he remarked ‘‘my widdler will get bigger as I get bigger’’ (1909, p. 34), suggesting that he understood penis size differences. Stoller and Wagonfield (1982) contend that when they see fathers urinate, boys envy and wish to possess their father’s large penis. This possibility is underlined by a boy of 4 who said, ‘‘I know; Superman’s power comes from his penis!’’ (Tyson, 1989, p. 1058), clearly referring to size differences between his own immature genitals and adult male genitalia (cf., Edgecumbe & Burgner, 1975). To clarify, though, Freud himself did not address this possibility. CHILDREN’S UNDERSTANDING OF GENITAL DIFFERENCES All the above models and psychoanalytic views demand awareness of genital differences between boys and girls, or men and women. Yet research using diverse methodologies shows that the majority of preschoolers do not evidence knowledge of genital body parts (e.g., Thackeray & Readdick, 2004), and certainly not at the ages at which Freudian theory stipulates that such awareness emerges and at which the onset of castration anxiety occurs. In an early study (Thompson & Bentler, 1971) using dolls with genitals superimposed, less than 20% of 4- to 6-year-olds were able to classify the dolls as male or female on the basis of their genitalia. In a study with preschoolers, only about a quarter of them were able to construct gendered 436 KARNIOL dolls by sticking on body parts, despite knowing correct labels for body parts and that ‘‘girls don’t have weenies’’ (Senet, 2004). Similarly, whereas 15- to 36-month-old children were able to specify their being boys or girls and appeared to have gendered representations of their own bodies, they were unable to indicate which of two anatomical dolls were like boys and like girls (De Marneffe, 1997). That is, they were unable to generalize to the category of male and female on the basis of their own bodies. Although one could fault the above studies for using anatomical dolls, (Boat & Everson, 1988), Trautner, Gervai, and Nemeth (2003), who used photographs of infants, similarly found that only 50% of 5-year-olds understood that genitalia define sex and that many children who showed gender constancy did not evidence genital understanding. Similarly, using figurative drawings of a boy and a girl, McConaghy (1980) found that Swedish, 4- to 8-year-olds evidenced little understanding of genitals before age 7, despite more liberal attitude towards sex in Sweden. Hence, these studies implicate two independent developmental achievements. The first of these is acquiring a core gender identity, the child’s early self-identification or self-labeling as ‘‘girl’’ or ‘‘boy’’ (Stoller, 1965, 1968), which is generally established by age 18 to 36 months. In Stoller’s view, this early sense of gender identity is the first to develop, primarily because of sex assignment at birth and parents’ subsequent differentiation of male and female infants in light of such sex assignment. Hence, core gender identity precedes the understanding of anatomical differences between the sexes and allows the child to self-label as boy or girl. Stoller notes that fairly early, the child recognizes that not everyone belongs to this gender and later, learns that not everyone possesses male external genitalia. But by the time these discoveries are made, children’s core gender identity has fully developed, independently of their genital knowledge. Later, this core gender identity allows the child to generalize to others of one’s own gender, and with development, to learn to generalize to adults of one’s own gender, an ability evident by age 4 (Thompson & Bentler, 1973). Core gender identity, though, appears to include some understanding of one’s own body without a concomitant understanding that this defines one’s gender. In fact, Money and Green (1969) argued that whatever their anatomy, children generally grow up thinking of themselves unambiguously as boys or girls, provided they are assigned to one or another gender at birth and are raised in line with such assignment. In Stoller’s terms, core gender identity, which is essentially unalterable after about the age of 36 months, can be established and maintained even when biological sex is ambiguous. The second developmental achievement is acquisition of an understanding of the unique association between specific genitalia and gender. Children first associate gender with gender-unique appearance cues and DISSOLUTION OF THE OEDIPUS COMPLEX IN BOYS 437 behavioral cues (Leinbach & Fagot, 1986) but do not understand the association with genital differences. Such an understanding does emerge in some 3- to 5-year-olds, who when shown colored, nude photographs of children, responded to the question, ‘‘How do you know it’s a [boy] [girl]?’’, answered, ‘‘because he has a willy’’ and ‘‘because she doesn’t have a willy’’ (Lloyd & Stroyan, 1994). In fact, though, only about a quarter of the children at these ages gave such responses, underlining that understanding of genital differences emerges relatively late in children’s development. In fact, Coates (1997) concludes that the fundamental premise of traditional psychoanalytic theory, that the perception of genital difference drives children to cognize their own gender, is inaccurate. But whereas Coates (1997) concludes that there is no universal fixed order for these two developments, the experimental data seem to accord with the developmental primacy of core gender identity. Such primacy is strikingly evident in the words of a child who when asked to tell which of two photos is the boy and which is the girl, answers: ‘‘I don’t know, they don’t have their clothes on’’ (Coates, 1997). That is, stereotypical cues that are associated with gender are used by children earlier than are anatomical cues that are used later to uniquely define someone as male or female. In fact, although most children know their own gender by the age of two (Gordon, Schroeder, & Abrams, 1990), before the age of 5 to 6, children believe they belong to a given gender because of external appearance such as hair length, clothes, or behavior, and prior to that age, ‘‘most children have not acquired the domain specific knowledge that gender categorization is determined by genitals and that this categorization overrides all other cultural differences’’ (Schrut, 1994, p. 14). In fact, only about half of 6-yearolds associate genitalia uniquely with individuals of a given sex (Gordon et al., 1990). In some studies, genital knowledge does not precede the acquisition of gender constancy, a finding that is contrary to many theoretical analyses, including that of Bem (1979). Moreover, Trautner, Gervai, and Nemeth (2003) found that gender constancy for self was unrelated to children’s genital knowledge. In a study with Swedish 3- to 10-year-olds, McConaghy (1979) identified two independent factors in gender constancy: one reflecting gender constancy in the face of changes in appearance, and the other, reflecting understanding of the genital basis of gender identity. These two factors exhibited the properties of a Guttman scale3, with genital knowledge emerging later in development. In research with German preschoolers aged 2 to 6 (Volbert, 2000), children did not generally evidence understanding of genital differences before age 5 to 6, except when shown drawings of unclothed individuals. Rather, children referred to clothing and hair as differentiating the two genders. In a similar study with Dutch children, the majority of children 438 KARNIOL were unable to say what made them male or female and alluded to their hair and sports abilities (Brilleslijper-Kater & Baartman, 2000). The same pattern emerges in American children who do not appear to know what makes them a boy or a girl before age 7, with a boy stating, ‘‘I am a boy because I have boy hair’’ and a girl exclaiming ‘‘I know I am a girl because my mom named me a girl’’ (Gordon et al, 1990, p. 37–38). In an early study by Levin, Balistrieri, and Schukit (1972), even 7-year-olds who were able to discriminate drawings of males and females according to their genitalia, were unable to maintain gender constancy when hair or clothing were added as gender cues. McConaghy (1980) argues that this developmental sequence, which appears across countries, may well be the result of the fact that the association between anatomy and gender is socially-controlled. That is, the fact that there are two types of genitals, that they are uniquely associated with a given sex, and that gender is assigned on the basis of genitals, is not an integral part of children’s early gender socialization in most cultures and parents admit to being reluctant to share this knowledge with their children (Geasler, Dannison, & Edlund, 1995). Furthermore, studies that have examined children’s knowledge regarding conception and birth generally show that prior to age 7, few children have an understanding of the origin of babies (e.g., Bernstein & Cowan, 1975; Goldman & Goldman, 1982), or the relation between genitals and birth (e.g., Caron & Ahlgrim, 2012; Koch, 1980). On the other hand, children who have been sexually-abused evidence greater understanding of the origin of babies, are more likely to discuss genital body parts, and to include genitals in their drawings (Hibbard, Roghmann, & Hoekelman, 1987; Hibbard & Hartman, 1990). They also evidence more sexualized play with anatomic dolls (August & Foreman, 1989; Jampole & Webber, 1987; White, Strom, Santilli & Halpin, 1986). So, it may well be that in clinical populations, as were many of Freud’s patients, children are sensitized to differences between male and female genitalia and do experience some of these developmental processes earlier and differently than non-clinical populations. THE ROLE OF ATTACHMENT PROCESSES The above suggests that families may play an important role in the development of the Oedipus complex, the onset of castration anxiety, and the dissolution of the Oedipus complex. Specifically, as Solnit (1983) and others (e.g., Agger, 1988) have argued, children’s developmental level and the nature of the parent-child relationship form two major intersecting axes. DISSOLUTION OF THE OEDIPUS COMPLEX IN BOYS 439 When the Oedipal complex is conceptualized as ‘‘a family complex’’ (e.g., Smadja, 2011; Young-Bruehl, 2009), then ‘‘factors operating in family life, such as the role of authority of the parents, seclusion of the family, size of the family, sexual prohibitions, and the like’’ (Horney, 1939, p. 84), as well as parental attitudes, likely all play critical roles in its emergence. In fact, Shane, Shane and Gales (1997) conclude that, ‘‘the Oedipus complex is not a universal organizer of development but rather it is dependent on its emergence on experiences within the family constellation’’ (p. 179). Horney (1933, 1939) argued that the Oedipus complex is nonexistent under some cultural conditions and that ‘‘this particular emotional pattern in the relations between parents and children, arises only under certain cultural conditions’’ (1933, p. 223), namely in patriarchal societies (e.g., Smadja, 2011). In fact, the development of relational psychoanalysis and of selfpsychology has re-focused attention on the potential impact of adverse childhood environments for the clinical understanding of castration anxiety (e.g., Taylor, 2016). In Mitchell’s (1988) model, the trauma associated with castration anxiety is attributed to a lack of secure attachment relationships that do not offer sufficient empathic mirroring and fail to foster a sense of security. Kohut (1984) also argued that castration anxiety is a secondary symptom rather than a causal factor in neurotic symptomatology. He posited that being raised by psychologically-healthy parents who provide adequate empathic mirroring minimizes castration anxiety and that parents who do not create a responsive affective environment vis à vis the child create a traumatic atmosphere that induces a high degree of castration anxiety. More generally, Kleeman (1971) concluded that ‘‘the ego functions concerned with the development of body image, reality testing, and the sense of self are crucial for the sense of gender identity,’’ and that the latter ‘‘cannot proceed normally without healthy object relationships’’ (p. 117). In this context, Roiphe and Galenson (1972) suggested that although some children develop moderate to severe castration anxiety after exposure to the anatomical difference between the sexes, such reactions only develop in children whose early experiences interfere with the acquisition of a stable body image. Thus, the field of psychoanalysis has now embraced attachment processes (e.g., Coates & Wolfe, 1995; Tyson, 1986) as the crucial factor in children’s psychical life, recognizing the importance of early events in the child’s life as critical to how castration anxiety and the Oedipal complex are experienced and resolved. In particular, infant research has honed in on the mother-infant relationship, emphasizing the kind of attachment relationships that develop (e.g., Zamanian, 2011), with a special focus on the mother’s ability to read the child’s signals, and how this impacts the child’s emotional life and 440 KARNIOL ability to negotiate the world. As Lamp-DeGroot (1952) noted, disturbances of the first mother-child relations can impede the child’s normal development and since each stage contains residues of earlier developmental stages, such disturbances can have major, lifelong repercussions. In particular, Greenacre (1953) emphasized the importance of the first 18 months for boys’ gender identity, noting that disturbances in the motherchild relationship and possibly, exposure to the sight of female genitals, may predispose boys to severe castration anxiety in later stages of development. Thus, research has focused our attention on the importance of the boy’s earliest relationship with his mother, her ability to read his signals, and the emotional synchrony that allows for a secure attachment relationship with the mother to develop (e.g., Stern, 1985). There is some clinical evidence that children whose attachment is anxious and disorganized have a more difficult time negotiating the world and that children who have not experienced sensitive caretaking, relative to securely-attached children, are likely to experience and resolve the Oedipus complex and castration anxiety very differently. Yet Freud saw castration anxiety as an integral and universal aspect of children’s development rather than as being unique to children with negative attachment experiences. And as Diamond and Blatt (2007) contend, attachment is not independent of other spheres of development. They propose that from infancy, sexuality and attachment form a bidirectional matrix in which one system influences the other. In their view, children’s attachment and degree of felt security provide a scaffold for the development of their sexuality. Drawing on Freud’s (1920) Beyond the Pleasure Principle, Weinstein (2007) similarly argues for such a bidirectional matrix, positing that attachment relations provide the stability required for the pleasure principle to become operative. In classical psychoanalytic theory, the father’s influence only becomes evident in the 3rd or 4th year of the child’s life. Yet fathers play an important role in their children’s lives much earlier (Lamb, 2013), and the punitive and threatening role Freud attributed to fathers is far from descriptive of how fathers actually engage with their infants and toddlers. In a late paper, Winnicott (1969) writes that ‘‘the baby is likely to make use of the father as a blue-print for his or her own integration’’ (p. 243), clarifying that the father has a structuring role in the mind of the baby. Hence, young infants are viewed as engaging in sophisticated, dyadic and triadic interactions with both their parents (e.g., Edgecumbe & Burgner, 1975), suggesting that Oedipal theories need to be revised to reflect this. Yet the view of families as triads contrasts with Freud’s view of the family as a more complex, and dynamic, system. Specifically, Freud saw the family as a system in which siblings, and especially ‘‘the discovery or the suspicion of the arrival of a new baby,’’ engenders in the DISSOLUTION OF THE OEDIPUS COMPLEX IN BOYS 441 child ‘‘the fear that he may, as a result of it, cease to be cared for and loved’’ (Freud, 1905, p. 194–195). This underlines Freud’s view of the family as a dynamic structure which embodies the potential for traumatic experiences, with parents as both the inducers, and the potential buffers, of such traumatic experiences. THE IMPACT OF FAMILY CONSTELLATION As discussed above, the Oedipal complex is generally portrayed as emerging within a triadic relationship, ‘‘a universal nuclear family structure… with a mother-father-son triad at its core’’ (Fuchsman, 2004, p. 31). But Freud (see Parens, 1988) viewed the development of children’s sexual theories as emerging within a family constellation in which one or more siblings play focal, and multiple roles in children’s psychical life. In fact, Freud claimed that the greatest event of a young child’s life is the birth of a sibling (1909, p. 10). But this event is viewed by Freud as a shock to the child’s psychological system, and when there are multiple births of younger siblings, this shock ‘‘is repeated with the birth of each new brother and sister’’ (1933, p. 123). Beyond the shock, though, siblings are woven into the fabric of children’s lives such that ‘‘when other children appear on the scene the Oedipus complex is enlarged into a family complex’’ (Freud, 1917, p. 333f.), with the intricate relationships that develop forming ‘imagos’ of his father, his mother, his brothers and sisters (Freud, 1914, p. 243), imagos that are laid down by the time the child is six years old and are represented within the child’s superego. Though he seldom referred to his own family, Freud developed his developmental theory of gender identity in part on his own experiences in a family with a complex sibling constellation (e.g., Sherwin-White, 2007). Although the child born immediately after Sigmund was male, this male child died when Freud was about 24 months old. But the five subsequent children were all female, born when Freud was between 2 and 8 years old, with a brother born only when Freud was 10 (Clark, 1980). Hence, during the time Freud was acquiring his own gender identity, he was surrounded by younger, female siblings to whose genitalia he may well have been exposed when they were being diapered and bathed, or when they were toilettrained. As Greenacre (1968) notes, awareness of genital differences between men and women, and between boys and girls, may occur before the age of four if parents appear nude in front of the child, or because there are two children of the opposite sex who, depending on the age gap between them, may well be changed, bathed, and dressed together on a 442 KARNIOL regular basis4. Schuhrke (2000) found that German mothers of singleton children often shower and bathe with their toddlers, but that when toddlers have siblings, the children are bathed together. This practice is relatively common in the U.S. as well (Rosenfeld, Siegel, & Bayley, 1987), but recedes as children grow older (e.g., ‘‘he used to bathe with his sister but now they are too big to fit, and I feel they should bathe alone’’, p. 227). Unsurprisingly, mothers who reported that their children had greater exposure to adult male nudity and to opposite-sex siblings reported that their children were more likely to use appropriate names for their genitals (Fraley, Nelson, Wolf & Lozoff, 1991). Hence, genital awareness may be most likely to emerge in families with opposite-sex siblings. In fact, from the psychoanalytic perspective, both relative age and sex of sibling are critical. Specifically, for Freud (1933), it is the shocking birth of a younger sibling that provides a major impetus for psychological development, with older siblings not being accorded a developmental role. In addition, the birth of an opposite-sex sibling was deemed critical for the development of gender identity because it is the sight of the genitals of the other sex that sets into motion the patterns of psychosexual development Freud described. If, as Freud, claimed, the focal variable is exposure to anatomical differences, exposure to an opposite sex, but not a same-sex sibling, would serve to set psychosexual development into motion. In this light, Bem (1979) argued that the understanding of genital differences as uniquely associated with a given sex is the critical input for the development of other-gender constancy. Being exposed to others in terms of their social gender—but not in terms of their biological sex—delays the acquisition of other-gender constancy. Sex and gender need to be disentangled and such disentanglement would be fostered by having an opposite-sex sibling, irrespective of his or her relative age. In line with this, both Bem (1989) and others (Lloyd & Stroyan, 1994) have found that children with greater genital knowledge evidence greater gender constancy for both self and for others, but the role of siblings was not investigated in this context. In a study with Israeli Jewish preschoolers, Karniol (2009) found that in answering whether a portrayed target child could change sex at will, references to birth sex showed significant interactions with both sibling sex and relative age. For children with a male sibling, explicit references to birth sex did not differ by relative age of sibling; for children with a female sibling, those with an older one were significantly less likely to refer explicitly to birth sex than those with a younger female sibling. As well, girls made fewer explicit references to birth sex than boys, with boys referring more explicitly to birth sex when they had a male sibling. Hence, having a sibling fosters children’s understanding that sex is a permanent DISSOLUTION OF THE OEDIPUS COMPLEX IN BOYS 443 characteristic of others that is determined at birth, but both the relative age and the sex of the sibling are relevant in determining such understanding. Turning to genital and anatomical differences, parallel to other research, many children in the study above were unable to provide answers to the question of how girls and boys differ. But for children who referred explicitly to birth sex, having a younger sibling was associated with significantly more references to genital and anatomical differences. This suggests that as Freud argued, it is children’s experience with the birth and presence of a younger sibling that contribute to the older child’s gender development. One may well question why the birth of a younger sibling would have such an impact. First, to the extent that children are present when the younger sibling is bathed, diapered, and dressed, they may become aware of anatomical similarities or differences as compared to self. Freud (1909) notes this phenomenon, both in his discussion of Little Hans and in a footnote referring to boys who were present when their newborn sister was bathed. Hoffman (2010) suggests that boys, in particular, experience a threat to their bodies when a baby sister is born, and that it is the presence of an opposite-sex sibling (whether older or younger) that heightens children’s anxiety about the integrity of their bodies because of their emergent awareness of anatomical differences. Second, the birth of a younger sibling may provide children with an opportunity to be involved in caretaking functions associated with babies and thereby, expose them to anatomical differences as well. Although this issue has not been addressed systematically, Nadelman and Begun (1982) cite maternal reports that 71% of children in families with a newborn assist in diapering and dressing infant siblings, and 43% help in bathing the infant. Moreover, male children with younger female, rather than a male sibling, evidence more spontaneous care-taking functions when alone with an infant in a strange situation (Stewart & Marvin, 1984), suggesting that mothers may involve them more often in infant care. However, crossculturally, girls are more often involved in such functions than boys (e.g., Posada, Carbonell, Alzate & Plata, 2004; Weisner, 2001), with this involvement possibly exposing them more often to anatomical differences between siblings and engendering comparisons of one’s own anatomy with that of the younger sibling. In line with this, in their study of 5- to 15-yearold children with at least one younger sibling, Goldman and Goldman (1982) found that children living with a sibling of the other sex achieved higher scores on questions concerned with identifying a newborn as male or female and the differential physical development of boys and girls. Goldman and Goldman (1983) conclude that ‘‘children exposed to family living with one or more siblings of the other sex have a built-in sex education process within their family life, at least where knowledge of sex 444 KARNIOL differences is concerned’’ (p. 292). In this light, Dunn and Kendrick (1982) note that after the birth of a sibling, children make explicit comparisons, including of genital differences (e.g., ‘‘Hasn’t got a widdly,’’ p. 65). As a British mother explained about her 4-year-old ‘‘he’s always asking me about it…who has a tail and who has not…he noticed she was different as soon as she was born’’ (Newson & Newson, 1968, p. 379). Murphy (1972) cites the case of a 4-year-old who puzzled over his baby sister’s lack of a ‘‘tinkler,’’ and used a piece of rubber to give his baby doll one. Conn (1940, p. 750) noted a mother who reported that her 5-year-old daughter who saw her 2-year-old brother undressed, exclaimed: ‘‘Gee, it’s funny. He’s got something different.’’ These anecdotes underline that exposure to nude babies leads children to recognize the anatomical similarity or difference between themselves and the younger sibling. Of course, parents may well play a role in this understanding. As Kleeman (1971) notes, a little girl who at 23 months first saw her newborn brother’s genitalia when diapered, was told ‘‘little boys have different genitals from little girls’’ (p. 123). Further, having a younger sibling appears to engender the understanding that birth determines one’s sex and that counter-stereotypic behavior and appearance cannot impact this basic affiliation without un-natural intervention. Pregnancy often engenders conversations that spur such understanding. For instance, Gabbard and Wilkinson (1996) cite a pregnant mother’s conversation with her 3-year-old daughter, with the child insisting that the baby would be a girl. When asked how she would feel if a brother was born instead, she replied, ‘‘Mommy, if it were a boy, it would be in Daddy’s tummy!’’ When parents engage in conversations with expectant siblings, children attain a more accurate understanding of the intimate tie between birth and gender. As a boy of 76 months with a year-old sibling said regarding a female target, ‘‘that’s how nature created her….only witches can change her into a boy’’ (Karniol, 2009, p. 87). Moreover, children with younger siblings are likely to learn that babies are males and females even though they do not look like males and female when fully-clothed. The presence of a baby, who does not look like a little girl or a little boy but is identified as such by others, allows the child to understand that gender is not only a social category, but also a biological one. As a savvy 58-month-old boy with a year-old, male sibling explained, ‘‘that’s how one is born, a girl is born as a girl and a boy is born is boy. You can get mixed up with babies that a boy is a girl and girl is a boy. You know by what the parents of the baby tell you’’ (Karniol, 2009, p. 87). It is the dissociation between how babies and infants look, and the gendered labels and language used in referring to them that promotes the older sibling’s understanding of gender constancy in others. DISSOLUTION OF THE OEDIPUS COMPLEX IN BOYS 445 The dissociation between babies’ sex and their appearance is also bridged by the use of gendered pronouns that clarify the sex of the newborn (e.g., ‘‘Isn’t she cute?’’) and in many languages, by the use of verbs that are marked for sex, requiring speakers to acknowledge whether they are speaking of male or female babies. The adoption of cultural cues that mark babies of each sex (e.g., color codes, jewelry codes) may also foster this dissociation. In many cultures in which baby attire is not color-coded, baby girls are distinguished from their male counterparts by having their ears pierced and gold or diamond studs placed in them. Finally, having a baby born in the family may facilitate understanding of the immutability of sex when processes like pregnancy and birth are explained to children by parents (Holmes, 1995), by reading books relating to the impending birth (e.g., Sheldon, 2005), and by hospital-provided ‘‘sibling classes’’ that prepare preschoolers for the new baby. Such preparation (e.g., Kleeman, 1971) provides the child with opportunities to hear about pregnancy and birth which, being uniquely associated with women, and may promote understanding of differences between men and women. The arrival of a younger sibling also provides parents with opportunities to discuss differences between babies, little boys, and little girls (Dunn & Kendrick, 1982). Hence, children with younger siblings receive an abundance of gender-related biological information that children with older siblings may not receive until much later, as evident in a six-year-old girl with a 3-year-old brother who said, ‘‘Even if she wanted to be a boy she couldn’t because she cannot go back into her mother’s tummy and change to come out a boy’’ (Karniol, 2009 p. 88). Yet as Volling acknowledges (2005), few studies have addressed the impact of the psychological transition that children undergo when a younger sibling is born (for an exception, see Vandell, 1987–1988). In describing his son’s reaction to the birth of a baby brother, Mendelson (1990) captured the extensive psychological work that a preschooler engages in both before, and after, a sibling is born. The current analysis suggests that the presence of siblings, both younger and older, is a critical variable that should be considered more thoroughly both theoretically and empirically, in children’s social development. Importantly, it seems that the kinds of generic statements that adults make about the distinctive anatomy of boys and girls may well impact how children learn to generalize in these domains (cf., Graham, Gelman, & Clarke, 2016). Yet as Butler and Tomasello (2016) have shown, even a single instance of linguistic labeling may be sufficient to lead 2- and 3-year-olds to generalize, an issue that has not been investigated in the context of gender. Notably, independently of exposure to female genitalia, castration anxiety may still emerge in light of warnings regarding punishment for 446 KARNIOL masturbation (e.g., ‘‘You shouldn’t play with your thing, else it’ll fall off and the boy will have a wee-wee instead,’’ Volbert, 2000, p. 21), and discussions of circumcision as ‘‘cutting it off’’ (e.g., Martin & Torres, 2014). Thus, castration anxiety is likely tied to the way society—and parents—handle the anatomical differences between males and females. It may well be that mothers who engender secure attachment relationships may be able to obviate the trauma associated with the birth of younger siblings, possibly by providing birth and sex-related information that can help the expectant sibling cope better with the impending trauma. Notably, Freud’s own exposure to his many female siblings during the years that castration anxiety is most profound, was likely highly instrumental to the development of psychoanalytic theory and in particular, his views regarding the dissolution of the Oedipal complex in boys. CONCLUSIONS The above review has underlined the critical importance of the family constellation to boys’ emerging awareness of their own, and other people’s, genitals. Such awareness is critical to Freud’s view of the dissolution of the Oedipal complex and its aftermath in the development of the superego. The pattern of development that seems to best capture the processes described above include the child’s learning to self-label as male and learning to associate this self-label with the category of boys, a developmental milestone that appears to be achieved by the age of about 2 to 3, as evident in children’s ability to differentiate photos of boys and girls by about 29 months (Etaugh, Grinnell & Etaugh, 1989). But prior to age 4, children use visible, gender-stereotypical cues such as hair and clothing to differentiate girls and boys, responding at chance level at age 4 when clothing cues and hair cues conflict (Gelman, Collman & Maccoby, 1986). At these same ages, they also learn that if one girl has a given gendered characteristic, another girl is also likely to have it, and vice versa (Gelman, Collman, & Maccoby, 1986). At the next phase, between the ages of 4 and 6, boys evidence understanding of the fact that they will grow up to be men and fathers, whereas girls will grow up to be mothers and women (Thompson & Bentler, 1973). The above developments appear to be independent of the understanding of genital differences, although via exposure to genital differences, children learn that genitals—and not appearances or behaviors—define one’s sex. Critically, definitive answers as to whose nudity is critical for the dissolution of the Oedipus complex would require research comparing singleton boys, boys with younger same-sex siblings, boys with younger DISSOLUTION OF THE OEDIPUS COMPLEX IN BOYS 447 opposite-sex siblings, and boys with both types of older siblings. Moreover, such research would need to assess children’s exposure to parental nudity, parental attitudes to their own nudity and to their children’s nudity, as well as the way parents discuss their children’s genitals with them. In fact, Horney (1933) underlined the importance of research, saying, ‘‘The final verdict about the soundness of our theoretical ideas, must be postponed until we have at our disposal systematic observations of normal children, carried out by on a large scale by persons trained in psychoanalysis’’ (p. 150). Research (e.g., Geasler, Dannison, & Edlund, 1995; Martin, Baker, Torres, & Luke, 2010) has shown that many parents are quite uncomfortable in naming and discussing their children’s genitals with their children, raising the possibility that castration anxiety, if it emerges at all, may well be how children deal with the discomfort that parents convey to them in discussing sexual matters. This is an important avenue for future research to explore. Finally, the assumption that ‘‘everyone is like me,’’ when faced with the reality of anatomical differences, racial differences, and other differences that society deems relevant, restructures children’s self-identity in terms of a comparison with others, using similarities and differences from others (McGuire & McGuire, 1988) to define themselves physically, emotionally, and psychologically. This is a critical aspect of being able to generalize from self as a boy to the category of boys, to see how one is similar to other boys and how one differs from other boys, possibly allowing for the emergence of self-definitions that label oneself as ‘‘a boy locked in a girl’s body’’ and vice versa (e.g., Ehrensaft, 2009; Fast & Olson, 2018), making Freud’s analysis of how children face the reality of genital similarities and differences more important than ever for our understanding of boys’ development. NOTES 1.. Rachel Karniol, Ph.D, was born in Israel and raised in Canada. She received her B.Sc. in Psychology from the University of Toronto and her M.A. and Ph.D. in Social Psychology from the University of Waterloo. Dr. Rachel Karniol is Professor Emerita of Social Development in the School of Psychological Sciences at Tel Aviv University and has also taught at the University of Toronto, Princeton University, and Carnegie Mellon University. Her expertise is at the crossroads of social and developmental psychology, with a focus on gender development, EQ and empathy development, and the impact of toys and pretend play. Her research has appeared in the most important journals in psychology and her book, Social Development as Preference Management: How Infants, Children, and Parents Get What They Want from one Another was published by Cambridge University Press in 2010. Her research on the impact of wearing a Superman cape on children’s self control 448 KARNIOL appeared in the Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology and was discussed in the Wall Street Journal. 2.. Freud states that he was between 2 and 2 years of age but according to his biographers, this event took place when Freud was 4 (Lewin, 1970). Importantly, though there is some argument as to whether Freud did, or did not see, his mother’s nude body (e.g., Zepf & Zepf, 2010; Holt, 2001; Stuart, 2007). Freud’s understanding of and reaction to her pregnancy has not been addressed. 3.. The Guttman scale consists of a hierarchy of closely related yes – no statements so that agreement with a given statement implies agreement with all less strongly worded statements. In this instance, McConaghy (1979) showed that only children who responded yes to all items regarding gender constancy for appearance, responded correctly to the items relating to the genital bases of gender. 4.. 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