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Redation emotions

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Not many of us are brought up to talk easily and openly about how we feel. Even
acknowledging feelings and emotions can be difficult. Talking about feelings may make us
feel uncomfortable, vulnerable, ashamed, or weak, or may be something we simply don’t
know how to do.
Firstly, feelings and emotions are important because they fuel and motivate human
behaviour. If we don’t know what we are feeling and simply act out the behaviour, we may
not be prepared for the consequences – for example, other people may react in ways we
had never dreamed of. Conversely, if we do know what it is we are feeling, we can behave
and act consciously, choosing behaviour that is consistent with how we feel and that will
obtain the outcomes we want.
Furthermore, if we know and understand our emotions, we get to know ourselves much
more deeply, which means we can better care for ourselves in a whole-of-person way. We
can act in ways that are more beneficial to us and become more able to lead purposeful
and positive lives attune with who we really are.
Why Do We Have Feelings and Emotions?
Emotions motivate us to take action. If you are faced with a test or exam your emotions of
anxiety or stress can push you into studying more. If a certain activity or hobby makes us
feel content or happy we are more likely to do more of it.
Emotions help us survive, do well and avoid danger and help other people to understand us
and relate to us. Emotions are often clearly visible on a person's face, or in how they stand
or walk or talk. So they serve as social signals. When other people see that we feel happy
or sad they receive important information which will influence how they react to us.
Why Do We Avoid Talking About Painful Emotions?
There are many different types of emotional pain and painful feelings. These range from
feeling unworthy or disapproved of, to feeling unloved or uncared for, invalidated or
rejected, embarrassed or humiliated, weak or helpless, or like ‘a loser’.
While many people feel safe to express positive feelings, when they feel bad they don’t
always want to admit or reveal how they feel. In fact, withdrawing, retreating, hiding, denial
and isolation, are all common responses to deeply felt emotional pain. We do this for many
reasons. Often, we don’t want to appear fragile or over-sensitive to others or admit our
fragility to ourselves. People think that owning hurt or painful feelings makes them look
weak or powerless to others. How we appear may also seem to be true to us; if we look
weak and powerless, maybe we really are.
In addition, our friends, loved ones or colleagues may not like hearing about our feelings.
They may react by feelling guilty, or criticised, or uncomfortable, or upset. They may not
want to listen to us or not listen properly and instead try to ‘solve’ our feelings. Their
reactions can then make us feel inadequate or bad in turn. With a partner this can lead on
to a whole chain reaction of feelings and emotions back and forth.
We may also avoid talking about feelings because we are trying to suppress them. Perhaps
they are too strong or painful or make us too uncomfortable. This can particularly happen
with severe emotional pain such as loss and grief, or emotions that we judge as highly
negative or wrong, such as anger.
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