Commentary on Higher Spanish Question Paper 2 Writing

Higher Spanish
Writing 2015
Commentary
Commentary on Higher Spanish
Question Paper 2 Writing
Candidate 1
The evidence for this candidate has achieved 6 marks for the Writing element of
this Course Assessment component.
The candidate was awarded 6 marks because despite the fact that the piece of
writing is very original and really gives an in-depth overview of the candidate’s
future projects and skills, in places, control of the language structure deteriorates
significantly.
From a content point of view, the topic is addressed adequately. Even though the
three questions asked in the rubric are only a springboard for the candidate to
talk about her/his professional career intentions and skills, she/he does answer
the three questions fully, thus offering a very nice empathetic view of ‘ los sin
techo’. The candidate adds a very nice side to the essay when saying she/he
wants to become a doctor to help those ‘sin una casa y sin comida’. In this
sense, the content is similar to that of an 8 or a 10.
From an accuracy point of view, overall, there is the impression that the
candidate can handle basic tenses/verb formation, but relies on a limited range of
structures at times: “me gustaría trabajar, me gustaría estudiar, me gustaría
ayudar, así que quiero ayudar, viajar en el extranjero ayuda, y ayuda (a)
encontrar”. There are examples of inaccuracies where the candidate is trying to
use more complex verb structures and they do not always work: “una fundación
que se ocupo, porque lucharen sin una casa (..), un poco gente lucharen con
drogas”.
There are further inaccuracies with prepositions and word order: “trabajar por una
fundación, tengo mucho interesante en la campo de medicina, puedo ayudar otra
gente, así que quiero ayudar con que, ayuda encontrar a gente nueva”.
From a language resource point of view, the candidate tries to use detailed and
complex language, but she/he does not always gets it right: “una medíca ideal
tendría ser, pero antes de trabajo como voluntario”.
Candidate 2
The evidence for this candidate has achieved 4 marks for the Writing element of
this Course Assessment component.
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Higher Spanish
Writing 2015
Commentary
The candidate was awarded 4 marks because the piece of writing uses limited
detailed and complex language and there are major errors when the candidate
tries to attempt aspects of the task.
The content is satisfactory and the candidate answers the three questions set in
the rubric: she would like to become a nurse (“me gustaría hacer una enfermera
de paedeatrica; me gustaría viajar de Australia el verano proximo”); she would
like to continue studying (“despues de mi año me gustaría vuelta a Escocia y ir al
Universidad”), and she explains why she would be a good nurse because she
already has experience of working with children (“soy muy trabajadora y cortés”).
Despite the content, overall, when looking more closely at accuracy, there is
more incorrect that correct.
From a language resource point of view, a limited range of verbs/ tenses is used,
the language is repetitive, with undue reliance on fixed phrases; likewise, the
ability to form tenses is inconsistent: “me gustaría hacer una enfermera; me
gustaría viajar; me gustaría trabajar; me gustaría vuelta de Escocia; me gustaría
seguir trabajé; me gustar trabajé; me gusta trabajar”. These inaccuracies make
some sentences difficult to understand to a sympathetic speaker of the language.
There are errors in other parts of speech such as gender of nouns, prepositions
and adjectival agreement: “pienso que tenía una bueno enfermera, un
experiencia, viajar de Australia para una año”.
Candidate 3
The evidence for this candidate has achieved 6 marks for the Writing element of
this Course Assessment component.
There is adequate content and the three questions in the rubric are addressed. In
this example, the candidate decides to write about her/his projects with
languages, her/his intent to continue studying languages and the fact that she/he
has good language skills.
Regarding language resource, variety, range and structures, the language used
is repetitive and the candidate uses a limited range of verbs, with an over
reliance on the conditional tense. This does not work at times in Spanish:
“estudio español y francés, así que claro iría a España o Francia. Tomaría el año
sabbatico cuando estaría en la Universidad. Iría en el año sabbatico cuando
estaría en la universidad”. Nevertheless, there is a sense that the candidate can
handle tenses: “querría seguir estudiando, puedo hablar, mi carrera y mis
destrezas son importantes, voy a quedar(me), luego ir, los idiomas me interesan
muchísimo, despues de haber escuchado las opiniones de Ana”.
There are other inaccuracies such as “me encantaría hablar con fluencia; no
puedo hacer matemáticas”.
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Higher Spanish
Writing 2015
Commentary
Overall, regarding accuracy, there is more correct than incorrect.
Candidate 4
The evidence for this candidate has achieved 10 marks for the Writing element
of this Course Assessment component.
The content is comprehensive and the topic is addressed fully. This piece of
writing is structured into three paragraphs, and each one deals with a question:
“seguir estudiando, tipos de proyectos de futuro, destrezas y habilidades”.
Overall, the essay reads well, the candidate provides additional information and
the essay comes over as a competent well thought out response. It is structured
following a logical sequence, and the candidate connects the paragraphs: “a mí
me encantaría viajar por el mundo cuando sea mayor”; “Me interesa viajar tanto
porque me gustan los idiomas”.
From a language resource and accuracy point of view, the candidate uses a very
comprehensive range of verbs and tenses. He/she uses them consistently and
accurately, using co-ordinating conjunctions and subordinate clauses throughout
the writing: “voy a hablaros sobre, siempre he querido, cuando vaya a la
Universidad, por eso lo estudiaré cuando este en la Universidad, estoy
estudiando, si pudiera estudiar, iría a Portugal, cuando era pequeña veía
películas; eso me servirá cuando sea profesora”. There are however some
inaccuracies when the candidate tries to use very complex language beyond
Higher level: “otra habilidad que tengo es el poder explicar cosas para que los
niños pequeños me entienden (entiendan)”.
Overall, there is evidence of confident handling of all aspects of grammar and
spelling and the language flows very well.
Candidate 5
The evidence for this candidate has achieved 2 marks for the Writing element of
this Course Assessment component.
The candidate was awarded 2 marks because the language is almost completely
inaccurate throughout the writing and there is little control of language structure.
There is little use of detailed and complex language and this piece of writing
shows a very limited vocabulary.
The content is basic and the topic is thinly addressed. Despite this, the candidate
communicates with success her/his passion for becoming a PE teacher and the
fact she/he has the ability/skills to get on with pupils. However, due to little
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Higher Spanish
Writing 2015
Commentary
evidence of tense control shown in this piece of writing, and the limited
vocabulary for Higher level, this essay was awarded 2 marks.
From an accuracy point of view, there is little control of language structure,
accuracy, gender, adjectival agreement or verb control. The essay could be seen
as repetitive and the candidate seems to have a very limited vocabulary: “mi
gustaría haco el professor de education de fisica; me gustaría ser el professor de
education de fisica porque me encanta deportes, juego el fútbol cuatro veces al a
semana y la tenis en a el domingo (...) la viernes; me gustaría seguir estudiar;
me gustaría voy al Universidad y poner titulo en education de fisica ser el
professor de education de fisica. Quiero puedo haco Me llevo bien, quiero puedo
escucho”.
Candidate 6
The evidence for this candidate has achieved 6 marks for the Writing element of
this Course Assessment component.
The candidate was awarded 6 marks because the language is mostly accurate.
However, in some places, control of the language structure deteriorates
significantly when the candidate is trying to express a more difficult idea. This is
the case in the first paragraph of the essay: “en el futuro me gustaría trabajar en
los projectos como desarollo las redes socials y tambien crearos mi tener
peliqula porque trabajadores en el teatro es una ambicion para mi”.
Despite this start, the candidate offers a few examples of very good detailed and
complex language such as: “Es una ambicion para mi seguir estudiando el teatro
porque me encanta para acto (instead of actuar). Tambien me ayuda a crecer
como persona y conocer a gente nueva. Además me permite ampliarme mis
horizontes”.
She/he also offers nice paragraphs with different tenses when answering the
rubric: “en mi opinion no cabe duda de que soy una persona trabajadora, seria
pero tambien divertida. Podría trabajar en equipo pero tambien solo. Creo que
soy organizado (...)”.
The content of this piece of writing is adequate and answers the questions in
depth. Indeed the content is similar to that of a piece of writing in the 8 or 10
marks category. However, some inaccuracies and the language resource pull this
piece of writing down to a 6.
Candidate 7
The evidence for this candidate has achieved 8 marks for the Writing element of
this Course Assessment component.
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Higher Spanish
Writing 2015
Commentary
The candidate was awarded 8 marks because the language used is detailed,
complex and mostly accurate. The content is clear and the topic is addressed
clearly. Content wise, the candidate answers the rubric well: “en el futuro me
gustaría continuar mis estudios, me interesaría estudiar, después de la
Universidad quisiera viajar, generalmente soy muy trabajando y me encanta
aprender nuevas cosas, sobre todo idiomas”.
From a language resource point of view, the candidate seems at ease using coordinating and subordinating conjunctions: “Me encantaría estudiar la informática
porque hay muchos trabajos que requieren los conocimientos de informática con
los idiomas. Después de la Universidad quisiera viajar en el extranjero porque
hay muchas oportunidades de trabajar en otros países”.
The essay seems to have some minor issues with prepositions: “a la
Universidad” and adjectival agreement: “buen cursos, idioma favorita”.
Overall, the writing is very competent, essentially correct, but pedestrian at times:
“a veces soy creativa y tomo mis estudios muy serio; me gusta trabajar en un
equipo”.
Candidate 8
The evidence for this candidate has achieved 2 marks for the Writing element of
this Course Assessment component.
The candidate was awarded 2 marks because, although the content is similar to
that of a 4 or a 6, the language is almost completely inaccurate throughout the
writing and there is little successful use of complex language.
From a content point of view, the candidate conveys her/his future plans studying
“ingeniería de caminos”, and “en el futuro me gustaría vivir en una mejor ciudad
en Europa, por ejemplo Amsterdam”, and tries to express the idea that her/his
mathematical mind will help her/him towards her/his goals in becoming an
engineer.
However, from an accuracy point of view, there is little evidence in this essay of
control of the language structure, verb/tenses control or word order and there
are constant errors in other parts of speech: “y alcanzar una ingeniería de
caminos Licenciado; me gustaría acabar mi seguir estudiando rápidamente y
ponerse una trabajo; visitar mucha mejor ciudads, estoy estudiando a escuela,
mi gustaría vivir en el extranjero pero vuelta casa después de pocos años y
trabajar en Escocia”.
At times, some sentences would be difficult to be understood by a sympathetic
speaker of Spanish: “Personalmente pensar estoy matemáticas y eso habré
ayuda con mi ingenieria de caminos carrera”.
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