David W Hobbs [email protected] about 41,000 words “EL MACHETE” Hobbs / El Machete / 2 Table of Contents “El Machete” Chapter One “A day, like any other day…” 1 3 Chapter Two “the awakening” 10 Chapter Three “I don’t understand” 13 Chapter Four “it’s okay to cry” 16 Chapter Five “where’s the justice” 19 Chapter Six “the outsiders of time and place” 28 Chapter Seven “living is the hard part” 35 Chapter Eight “another dimension of reality” 44 Chapter Nine “…” 49 Chapter Ten “…” 66 Chapter Eleven “…” 81 Chapter Twelve “El Gallo is dead” 87 Chapter Thirteen “in breaking news…” 93 Chapter Fourteen “My name is Villegas, but I am not” 99 Chapter Fifteen “they are waiting for you” 107 Chapter Fourteen “…” 111 Hobbs / El Machete / 3 Chapter One “A day, like any other day…” Jackson Billings woke early (again), to the cool morning sea breeze of the Pacific Ocean. It was nearly 6 a.m. and the brisk autumn air sharpened his thoughts and allowed him to envision the day. He would wake, have some coffee, no more than two cups to avoids the jitters, and run on the beach at 7. He was determined to get back into shape after nearly five years of neglect. His mind continued to formulate the day’s potential events and realized it was not his decision, Jenn, his wife of 12 years, would soon rise and change everything, more appropriately dictate the day. Jackson, long since a neutered man, would resolve to himself his plans had little merit in their relationship. She would point out a few tidbits and begin to inflict her long-suffering manipulation tactics on him and he would ultimately follow blindly along with “the plan.” “Fuck-it” he thought and went back to sleep. Jenn entered the bedroom for the third time, however, this time there was no attempt to be quite. Briskly closing the closet door with no regard for the noise, she stared at Jackson and with mild disdain for his lack of adventure she announced, “Jackson, we are leaving now. We will be back this afternoon, please take care of the firewood it will be cold tonight and I want a fire for dinner. We’ll pick up some movies from the flea market. See you around 5.” A peck on the cheek was all that was left and she was off. Upon hearing the front door clasp, he opened his eyes. “Now what?” he thought. The morning is shot, I’m sure she left more than the firewood for me to do, no doubt a note with a list Hobbs / El Machete / 4 of expectations to be accomplished by day’s end, followed by, “I love you” at the end – “did she?” he thought. He languished in bed thinking about her. They had met while still in college in D.C. while he was attending the University of Maryland – much to his father’s dismay. He was studying Information Technology and microbiology and she was at Georgetown University on a Public Relations scholarship. They met in a small Georgetown pub following the two schools playing in the NCAA sweet sixteen. Maryland placing a sweet ass-whooping on Georgetown gave him the courage to approach her. CHANGE THIS TO THEY ATTENDED G’TOWN TOGETHER AND MET IN THE DRAMA CLUB. SHE WAS A “SMALL PART” ACTRESS AND HE SPENT HIS SUMMERS AS A STAGE HAND, AND SET DECORATOR. JACKSON JOINED THE DRAMA CLUB TO MEET AND BE AROUND HOT GIRLS AND IT WORKED HE MET JENN THERE. HE GATHERED PARTS AND MATERIALS AT LOWES AND HOME DEPOT TO MAKE THE SETS. BECAUSE THEY HAD A SMALL BUDGET FOR SET DESIGN, THE DRAMA TEACHER HAD WORKED OUT A DEAL WITH THE LOCAL HARDWARE AND ELECTRONIC STORES TO HELP OFFLOAD THEIR INVENTORY TRUCKS BUT THEY GOT TO PICK THROUGH THE WOOD CRATES AND BOXES AND PACKING MATERIALS BEFORE IT WAS SENT OFF FOR RECYCLING OR THE GARBAGE. JACKSON ADMIRED THE DRAMA TEACHER, GARY RICHARDS, BECAUSE HE COULD SEE “WHAT WAS NEEDED BEYOND WHAT WAS AVAILABLE,” A SIMPLE GLUE GUN, SOME PACKING BUBBLES OR FOAM, PAPER MACHE THIS OR THAT SOME PAINT AND YOU ARE DONE. SOMETHING OUT OF NOTHING WAS ALL IN THE MIND. THE DRAMA TEACHER TAUGHT THEM HOW TO THINK ABOUT HOW Hobbs / El Machete / 5 TO MAKE THE SETS BY USING EVERYTHING THEY SEE AROUND THEM AND HOW LITTLE IT TAKES TO CHANGE THOSE THINGS INTO WHAT YOU NEED. “THE ILLUSION OF THE PLAY WAS NOT ONLY IN THE ACTING BUT IN THE SET DESIGN AS WELL” HE WOULD SAY. At first she was put off by his arrogance, but his self-deprecating humor quickly eased the tension and they talked. Surprisingly to Jackson, Jenn did not really caring about the outcome of the game and only went to be with friends and for the experience it might bring – this should have been a warning sign. But all Jackson truly noticed were her great tits, lushes lips and intelligent charm and whit – but mostly her tits. They talked for hours and she teased him incessantly with her breasts, leaning over allowing him to see her deep cleavage, brushing them against his arm while they chatted closely. They fucked hard and long that night, often she would give him directions on what she wanted with specific details on what she liked and didn’t. He responded by pleasing her again and again as she climaxed several times during the night. “Finally”, he thought, a woman who can tell me what she really wants – this should have been another warning. Jackson finally rose from the bed and turned on the shower, he would masturbate before allowing the rest of the day to crush his will and his gorging pecker. Jennifer Billings was in her element now, or one of the many elements she felt most comfortable with. If it wasn’t with her daughter 11-year old Elizabeth whom she loved so dearly, it was at work surrounded by those that listened intently on her every word, or in virtually any social setting where she was the life of the party always having a witty line or cordial sentiment. Jenn and Elizabeth enjoyed their time together shopping along the Rosarito tourist Hobbs / El Machete / 6 strip. Their never-ending decorating and redecorating process of the new Baja cabin kept them busy every weekend they came down from L.A. Jenn had promised this would come to an end as soon as they found the right matching pottery for the new cactus in the front. Elizabeth didn’t care if they ever finished, she only loved that her mother treated like a friend while they were in Mexico, not the budding adolescent girl who needed to be aware of everything and everyone back in the U.S. She truly relished her time here and gave up many activities back in L.A. so that her parents would have no excuses but to come down on a regular basis. The shopping duo spent their day rummaging through the slightly and vigorously used trinkets and knick knacks available at the flea market. The Mexican flea markets provided a staple income for many Mexican families and offered significant purchase options for the consumers, the last remaining win-win in a down-turn market. Virtually anything could be found here, from pirated DVDs of movies video taped in theaters with hand held cameras to old pots and pans but mostly used clothing. They giggled like school girls when they would find a used blouse they may have owned years earlier. Their search today was originally designed for ornate ceramic planters for outside the house. They attempted to stay with the beach house’s current theme of terracotta but they soon looked at the colorful blue and yellow fire kilned pots and of course, as in the past they soon lost their way and purchased a mixed batch of several of each… they would make it work or buy more later. It was nearly 5 p.m. when the girls piled all their treasures into the Explorer and headed back to the beach house. The drive home would take 30 minutes along the scenic route and 15 to 20 minutes along the less scenic toll road. They rarely traveled the toll road because it seemed to take away the true reason they had their second home in Mexico, to experience the life, the ocean Hobbs / El Machete / 7 and the freedom all of which the toll road seemed to lack. Today was different, they were both exhausted and looked forward to getting home quickly preparing a nice dinner, and snuggling up next to the fire Jackson should have going and watching either of the two pirated videos they purchased. They barely chatted as they normally would, more intent on getting home. They reached their exit off the toll-road and pulled into the traffic line for the military checkpoint, about one kilometer from the beach house, normally they were glad to reach the checkpoint, as this meant two key things, the first being that 25 Marines – the untouchables of the Mexican military were present – the second was they were almost home. They had joked about buying the beach based on the armed Marines as 24-hour security, a little excessive for a $59,000 dollar home. Today the girls were eager to move through the checkpoint which seemed surprisingly slow for only a few cars in front of them. They commented the Marines must be looking for someone specific today. They rarely had any concerns with the checkpoint because the Mexican Marines were known for their complete lack of corruption to the drug cartels and politicians. As slowly as their line was the line to the right moved along quickly. Within minutes a black Cadillac Escalade with tinted windows pulled up along side them. A chill crawled up Jenn’s spine as she looked over at Elizabeth. They both knew it was a drug dealer but neither had the courage to speak. The Marine, a well trained professional also knew, his attention, physical stance and demeanor all changed accordingly. Jenn’s first concern was to ensure Elizabeth’s safety, and yet nothing had happened, nothing until a second Escalade quickly changed lanes pulling up behind them. She felt trapped, in Hobbs / El Machete / 8 danger and very alert to the impending scenario. As they pulled up to the Marine, he quickly ushered them through and they felt relieved as they attempted to drive away quickly, however, the car in front was barely moving. As soon as the guard passed them through, he stepped between their moving car and the upcoming Escalade. Jenn’s emotions began to scramble between fear and panic, yet attempted to remain calm as nothing had happened and there may be no cause for alarm. She took several deep breaths as the small Honda in front of them moved slowly as the driver grinded the metal on metal gears of the transmission. Jenn looked in the rear view mirror in an effort to gauge the true danger they were in and could see the Marine standing abreast the on coming Escalade with hand outstretched palm up. She knew he wasn’t there just to protect them, the Americans, from the potential of danger by the drug cartels, but was thankful he was there nevertheless. They continued to creep slowly away from the checkpoint, they had only reached a three car length distance when Jenn saw the black barrel of the gun through the passenger-side window and her heart plunged. The first shot dropped the Marine and ripped through the tailgate door of their Explorer, bringing screams and shear terror between the two of them. The second and third shots came from other line guards into the Escalade. Within seconds shots were coming from all angles, Jenn could barely think about which way to drive, she looked over at Elizabeth screaming for her to get down when the shattering of the back window broke her words. The bullet pierced through her back puncturing her aortic artery. Her screams were partially stifled by the blood pouring in her throat, she jammed on the gas and the SUV surged forward slamming into the Honda directly in front of them. Their vehicle bounced off hurling them into Hobbs / El Machete / 9 the intersection and oncoming traffic, instantly being met by the full force of delivery truck cruising along at 30 MPH. The impact slammed them into the guardrail crushed by the full weight of the truck. Jenn barely conscious could see Elizabeth was also badly injured but alive and awake. Elizabeth’s seat was dislodged and turned almost 90 degrees facing Jenn with the seatbelt dangling over her shoulder. Jenn was thankful for a brief moment realizing she would have been killed instantly by the belt had it not broken. She reached over to her, yet could no longer speak. Their eyes met with fear and pain, tears and blood strained their vision and they held each other’s hands as they slowly faded into unconsciousness. Hobbs / El Machete / 10 Chapter Two “the awakening” Jackson was sitting on the rooftop patio sucking down his third Corona enjoying a late summer Santa Anna breeze when his neighbors Ron and wife Gloria came screeching up to the house. They had been three cars behind the Escalade and were waved around after all the shooting. They had reached Jackson’s beach house within minutes of the shooting and crash. They could see Jackson sitting on the rooftop patio, shirt off and slumped in the beach chair, his moment of serenity was soon about to be destroyed. They yelled up to him several times before Jackson became aware of their presence, he yanked the ear-buds from his iPod off and stared in emotional disarray. “Jackson, come with us there’s been an accident at the checkpoint!” Ron yelled trying to remain composed and yet express the sense of urgency for the situation. Jackson still dismayed by the situation and still in a slightly buzzed state of mind, could only respond with, “huh?” and “what?” He stumbled down the stairs nearly falling twice and jumped into their car. They quickly sped off back to the crash site but with the continuous screaming of, “what happened,” and “we’re not sure” Jackson seemed more lost in the moment then concerned. All he clearly understood was there was an accident with a truck and the girls were not out of the SUV yet. Jackson’s mind raced between images of really bad and potentially dyeing to them standing by the SUV yelling at someone for wrecking their new SUV. Ron and Gloria had not told Jackson of the gunfire for fear of dashing any hope he might have had and he would see things for himself in a few moments anyway. By the time they Hobbs / El Machete / 11 reached the accident, an ambulance and doctor were on scene assisting his family. Jackson ran from the car even before it had fully stopped, his heart pounding with unbelievable thoughts racing through his mind as the gravity of the situation was beginning to set into his reality. He could see their SUV crushed on the passenger side “oh dear God, my Bethy” he thought. The SUV was sitting slightly lifted from the impact of the truck and the driver’s side pinned next to the guard rail, he didn’t notice the bullet holes in the back, nor the Marines scavenging through the other black SUV 20 meters away. His only intentions were to get to his family and free them. A few feet before he could reach them, a paramedic and Marine grabbed him in an effort to stop him telling him they were both gone. His heart stopped. He could hear nothing else as if all senses had left him and he was alone in a horrifying world. He could no longer focus on what had happened he could only stare at the remains of this moment. It took several moments before he could regain his senses and stop struggling with the Marine enough for him to release his grip on Jackson’s arms and begin to walk him over to the SUV. Jackson had no hope of a final miracle that maybe they could still be alive, he was sure they were both dead because he felt life had left him as well. As he neared the Explorer the two paramedics were attempting to place plastic covers over their bodies to hide them from reporters and on-lookers. Jackson reached out for the paramedic on the passenger side – his Bethy’s side – and gently pulled him back from the vehicle. He slowly yet methodically looked inside at the blood and shattered glass and could see their hands were clasped together. This was their moment of good bye, and now his as well. On the other side, another paramedic stopped his attempts to cut Jenn’s seatbelt away allowing Jackson his moment. Hobbs / El Machete / 12 Jackson stood looking through the window and gazed at his family in this horrific site. He could no longer feel himself breathe or even think, he just continued to look, taking in every blood spatter, every shard of glass, their blood-soaked clothes, their tussled hair, and their still opened eyes bloodshot and teary. This was his moment to say good bye and if their spirits were still here they would feel his love for them, they would share one last moment together regardless of the place or circumstance. He stared at the remains of his family and his life for several minutes, alone and absorbing every ounce of their remaining presence. There was no flood of memories, or convulsions of pain, not even anger, there was just loss. Minutes later, as he began to break away, he could see through Jenn’s side of the car window the Pacific Ocean and the waves breaking without pause. The sun nearly completely set lit up the sky in orange and red and brown. “I hope this sunset was the last thing they saw,” he thought peacefully. Hobbs / El Machete / 13 Chapter Three “I don’t understand” It took nearly two hours for Jenn and Bethy’s bodies to be released from their internment. He sat despondent on the side of the highway. He was completely broken, or so he felt. His mind scrambled and raced and stopped all at once. He could no longer focus on individual thoughts he could only feel pain and loss. It consumed him physically and emotionally. He struggled with an overwhelming feeling of vomiting as his stomach churned. Ron and Gloria sat beside him on the roadway trying to provide comfort in anyway they could but soon realized he was beyond consoling and found that just being with Jackson was what he needed at this time. It wasn’t until he was at the hospital before he glimpsed his life without them. He was shaken to the core with grief. After waiting nearly an hour the ER doctor came out to confirm what was already known by everyone, but needed to be done nonetheless. Surprisingly, the doctor’s English was excellent and seemed to pride himself on being able to talk with Jackson so eloquently. He explained with limited detail how the girls had died. “Sir, your wife was killed from a bullet rupturing her aortic artery and she bled out. Your daughter from massive internal organ failure causing her heart to stop,” he calmly explained. “Bullet?” Jackson questioned, “what bullet?” “Your wife was shot in the back and it passed through her ribs and ruptured the aortic artery exiting out of her chest, she died almost immediately, certainly within minutes,” the doctor explained. “She was in a car accident, she wasn’t shot,” Jackson confusingly responded. His faced grimaced with confusion and despair as he exclaimed, “What the hell is going on here! How Hobbs / El Machete / 14 could she have been shot? Who shot my wife?” Despair turned to anger as he realized his wife and daughter were killed by someone else… “They were murdered!” he thought. The doctor, in an empathetic voice responded, “sir, I don’t know what happened, maybe the police can tell you more. We will be taking them to the morgue soon, would you like to see them before they are moved?” “Look Doctor, I still don’t understand, who shot my wife?” he yelled. “Maybe I can help,” said a tall slender American woman as she stepped away from the nurse’s station. “I am terribly sorry for your loss Mr. Billings, I am Rebecca Henson, I work for the State Department. We are called in whenever an American is killed outside the United States. I happened to be in Tijuana when I was told about this situation and decided to drive down since it was only 30 minutes away,” she explained as if seeking an appreciative gesture from Jackson. “What the FUCK is going on lady?” Jackson demanded. “First I’m told she is in car accident, and then she’s dead, now I’m told she was shot and now someone from the fucking State Department is here,” he sniped without concern for his language or tone. “Mr. Billings, here is what I know from talking with the Chief of Police and the statements from the Marines, your wife was pulling away from the checkpoint when her vehicle was shot from either the drug cartel in the SUV behind them or by a stray bullet from the Marines, we are not sure which at this point,” she explained. “We are working closely with the police and IEU, that is the Mexican FBI, and should have more information tomorrow,” she explained in a tone typical of a lifelong bureaucrat. Hobbs / El Machete / 15 The ER doctor unable to provide any further assistance to Jackson and feeling overwhelmed by the potential volatility of the situation quietly excused himself and quickly descended back through the stainless steel doors of the ER. Jackson stood confused and dazed in the lobby as Rebecca continued to explain how the process of the information would come available to her and him and how he should let her take control of the situation from this point forward. Her professional and yet seemingly uncaring demeanor nearly set him into a tailspin of rage. She had obviously done this far too many times. Her words rehearsed her responses short and direct to his questions. “Mr. Billings I will be in touch with you in the morning with details on when the bodies will be released from the hospital,” she stated calmly as she slid away into the hospitals cold walls. Within minutes it was over, he was told everything he needed and yet unable to process any of its scope or magnitude. There was no humanness to the situation. Jackson stood in the lobby alone, not knowing what to do, where to turn, emotionless and lost. Hobbs / El Machete / 16 Chapter Four “it’s okay to cry” The phone rang at 10 a.m., Jackson had still not slept, unable to think nor eat, and yet he was able to drink half a bottle of scotch. His still drunken and half hung-over mind slowly engaged as he scrambled for the phone and with his voice graveled from the night before he barked out, “Hello, who is this?” “Mr. Billings this is Rebecca Henson, we met last night at the hospital. Again sir, I am terribly sorry for your loss,” she stated in her business as usual idiom. “I have a few issues to work through with the hospital but we should be able to have the bodies released later today,” she continued. “Sir I know this is an extremely tragic event for you to comprehend, but I want you to know your country will be there with you throughout this ordeal. We will take care of all the arrangements to have them transported back to the states,” she paused as if waiting for a response. “Mr. Billings, do you know where you would like their bodies sent?” she asked. Jackson paused, still consumed by the loss, on the verge of rage, he took a deep and soul searching breath, and responded. “DC, there’s a big funeral home just off of M Street, her family lives there.” The silence continued for several seconds, Jackson unsure what to ask and whether he really wanted to know or could actually handle any further information. Rebecca, in full “state department mode” senses he has not grasped the situation yet and lowers her tone. Hobbs / El Machete / 17 “Is there anyone you would like us, uh…, would you like me to contact?” she asked softly. “No, I’ll deal with the notifications of her family,” he said as he attempted to find himself. The pause continued and seemed palpable to both. Rebecca knew her work was done, Jackson knew his life was over, yet neither felt the conversation was completed. Several moments passed as Jackson, coughed and cleared his throat. Rebecca waited patiently, sensing the pain and despair that must be consuming him. “Wait, I… I need to know what happened,” he stated in his first real attempt to accept his new reality. “Mr. Billings, as I told you last night, it was a shootout with Marines and a drug cartel. We have statements and video which corroborate the story. I’m terribly sorry, it seems your family was just in the wrong place at the wrong time,” she attempted to speak in a consoling manner. Her words ripped through him, “wrong place, wrong time,” what the fuck could that mean? She couldn’t be just some emotionless callous bitch telling him I’m sorry your life is over, but “wrong place, wrong time.” He rubbed his face, and took several more deep breaths trying to find the right question to ask. “I don’t know what I do now,” were the only words he could expel. “I’m sorry,” she state in an empathetic voice. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” he replied in a lost and scared voice. The pause between them continued, she knowing it is up to him to pull himself together and him looking for any help he can find. He was completely lost, searching for a rope to pull him out of this abyss he had fallen into. Hobbs / El Machete / 18 “Mr. Billings, sir, why don’t you call your family, I’m sure they will be able to help you get through these next few days. If you need any help dealing with the police, your insurance, the funeral home or the hospital, please call upon me,” she stated back in her business tone. “Yeah, okay, I’ll do that. Thanks,” he nearly silently replied. “I’ll contact you with the details of their transport as soon as it is available, probably tomorrow, okay?” she replied. “Yes that will be fine,” he stated and paused. “Look, one more thing…. Who were they? What drug cartel? Who were they and where were they from, and what were they doing there,… then?” he asked. “Mr. Billings, I’ll call you tomorrow with the details on the transport,” she spoke with a dangling pause to her words, “I’ll know more then and will tell you all I can.” As Jackson hung up he turned away from the kitchen to see the firewood piled in the fireplace and he began to weep. Ravaged by the pain, despair, confusion and rage of the last nearly 24 hours, he sank to the floor and wept. Hobbs / El Machete / 19 Chapter Five “where’s the justice” Notes Rebecca tells him who he can talk with about the cartels and what is being done to find them. She explains the chief of police in Rosarito can be trusted along with the General in charge of the Marines, but that no one in Tijuana, with the exception of the Marines can be trusted. Jackson called Rebecca to apologize after finally sleeping for a few hours, his mind still unfocused, his heart still too deep with despair to comprehend the last 24 hours, and yet he needed a voice of reason. Calling his family, primarily her family left him feeling it was his fault; he was to blame for the loss of “their daughter and granddaughter.” Arrangements had begun at the Oakmont Funeral Home in DC, and Jackson felt he needed to confirm with Rebecca when their bodies would arrive and attempt to find out the next steps in the police action – or even if there was a police action at this point. They had agreed to meet at a diner near Jackson; he was unable to muster the neither strength nor mindset to drive much further. He arrived late, an extremely rare occasion for him, unshaven, un-showered and probably smelling to high heaven. He wore the same shorts and tshirt from the day before and could taste the scotch in the back of his throat, he knew he wreaked and could care less how anyone, even his neighbors or other expatriates might see him. Jackson found Rebecca in a booth near the door; she looked different to him, slightly more personal, less with her off-setting-business-as-usual manner. She was dressed in jeans and a button down shirt. He could actually see her features and nearly didn’t recognize her. She was even thinner than she seemed at the hospital, almost gaunt, with long bony fingers and a gangly chicken neck. Hobbs / El Machete / 20 They greeted each other warmly, warmly for two people having met only once before and under extreme conditions. Jackson quickly apologized again for his outbursts and was gracious for Rebecca’s assistance. Rebecca conceded she should have been more humane in the delivering of information and the delicate process he was up against. They smiled to each other and ordered coffee. “Mr. Billings, there is not much more to this process, I will personally ensure the bodies arrive on time to the funeral home. They will be given a police escort from Reagan International if you would like to travel with them, I can arrange for that as well,” Rebecca calmly and empathetically explained. “Please, call me Jackson, I need a normal voice in my head and anytime I hear Mr. Billings, it just seems unnatural,” he interjected. “Of course Jackson, and please call me Rebecca,” she insisted “I appreciate your professionalism and care for the details through this, but you haven’t mentioned what the police are doing, are they doing anything?” he asked. With a deep and slow sigh, clearly dreading the next phase of this impending conversation Rebecca responds, “Jackson, this part of my job is the absolute most difficult for me, I never know how to talk with people on this level, given what has happened to your family here in a foreign country. I never know when to open up with information which may cause more pain for the family and when to just be a sympathetic shoulder.” Rebecca paused, hoping for a response from Jackson, who although clearly still distraught seemed to only have one glimmer of focus on his mind. Hobbs / El Machete / 21 “Rebecca, please just explain everything you know. I’ve already lost my family…. My life is over. I just want to know what is being done about it,” Jackson quietly and painfully asks. “Alright, at this point the police have closed the case. You see from their perspective the four drug dealers opened fire on the Marines and were killed. Inside their cars were about 40Kilos of marijuana, some guns and about $10,000 in cash. They have no reason, nor evidence to further any investigation,” she said ending with an unspoken “but” at the end. “The police have closed the case?” Jackson questioned “What about the cartels? What are they doing about them? There’s obviously more, what is the U.S. doing about this?” Jackson questioned more directly and with much greater passion. “There is not much I can tell you, well not much I am allowed to tell you. I’m sure you understand the U.S. and the Mexican governments are constantly seeking out the cartels and implementing laws and personnel to deal with them…. “ Rebecca paused, looked down at her coffee and with a fiery stare looked back up at Jackson. “I’m sorry. That was bullshit and certainly not what you want to hear,” she emphatically apologized. “Look there are anywhere from 25 to 40 thousand Americans living in Baja fulltime; mostly retirees, living on the low cost of living and relatively good healthcare. There are likely as many members in the drug cartels – there will be an incident,” she explained. Jackson was slightly taken aback at her words and tone. He could see how her business-like nature and bureaucratic demeanor could be very effective in her role with the State Department. She certainly was not one to be taken lightly. He almost seemed impressed with her candor and Hobbs / El Machete / 22 honesty. He knew she would divulge more and would not interrupt unless he needed to prompt her. “Here is what I know, and some of this I shouldn’t be telling you, so please keep this between us. I may have mentioned at the hospital the IUE was involved, they are the FBI of Mexico. They have the videos taken from the checkpoint and know which cartel was involved. And, well…” she paused, seemingly fearing telling him anymore. “Rebecca, please go on, I don’t care if it hurts more because I can sense that is what you are going to say to me next. Just tell me, please,” Jackson implored. “Okay, the cartels are always moving. Always looking for new ways to move their product and always looking for new entry points. Often they will go back to previous places to see if things have changed and it appears that is what they were doing when your family was killed,” she explained without hesitance. “What the hell are you saying, my family died because the fucking cartels were testing the waters?” Jackson demanded. “Sort of, yes,” she responded while gingerly nodding her head. Rebecca allowed the pause in her response to give Jackson time to comprehend and assimilate the information, and possibly even understand the gravity of the situation. Hopefully he would understand there is little that can be done and the sheer scope of the international situation goes well beyond the death of his family, however, tragic and senseless. “Jackson, I know nothing I tell you will make the situation any easier to accept, nor will I try. But you must understand the U.S. and Mexican governments are doing all they can to stop the violence caused by the cartels,” she explained. Hobbs / El Machete / 23 Jackson’s body slumped in the booth, maybe he didn’t need to know, maybe he shouldn’t have asked. He certainly didn’t feel any better or able to accept their deaths with any ease. Now it just seemed the gravity of their death was shrouded by the struggles of two governments ability to stop the flow of drugs and the innocent lives impacted by them. The word “innocent” kept running through his thought process. “Innocent” led to “victim” which led to “justice.” “Is there any justice for them?” Jackson calmly questioned. His words seemed to pair off from just his family and his loss, but to the many unnamed and unknown victims he certainly knew there were. “Will there be any justice for them?” he continued. Rebecca sat without a gesture and certainly not feeling attacked by his question. “Someday… yes, someday I think there will be. Maybe not in the form of all the cartels being captured or killed, but maybe the people able to influence the strength of the cartels will be held accountable,” she replied. Her words seemed like a misdirection attempt – somewhat prophetic. “Look Jackson, there is only so much I can tell you, and truly only so much you can absorb or need to know right now. This is a dangerous situation for both countries, neither can wage all out war against the cartels because of the collateral and potentially devastating damage it could cause.” She paused to collect her thoughts. “The cartels in most large or tourist cities in Mexico and nearly all border cities, have a strong hold on the police, the politicians and to some degree the people. They control the police with bribes and if they don’t take a bribe they are killed or their families are killed, but the point is made and the next police chief or detective will have no choice but to comply with them. The Hobbs / El Machete / 24 same goes for the politicians. They are either put into office with drug money, or controlled through extreme intimidation. Those that refuse to comply are tortured and or killed or their families are killed. Even the people of Mexico refuse to engage in dealing with the situation. Take for example if you lived in San Diego and you thought your neighbor was a drug dealer, you would call the police or the FBI and tell them what you know and have a level of comfort knowing you could remain anonymous or at a minimum have protection. That does not exist in Mexico. Not only is the culture different, but the intimidation and fear factor far exceeds any vale attempt to stop the cartels.” Rebecca paused, as if to ascertain whether she should continue or allow Jackson to merely accept his family’s death as a byproduct of an international incident and move on with his life, or push for more details. Rebecca’s 12 years dealing with U.S. and Mexican politics often made her cold and callused, but specifically her last 6 years directly focusing on the cartels have made her bitter to questions about the U.S.’s role and the innocent American victims impacted by the results. Her claws were out – well maybe only partially out and she knew she could pull them back in based on Jackson’s response. She needed him to understand all that could be done, was being done. He gave no response for her to stop, so she continued. “Allow me to put it another way, as I said before, there are nearly 40 thousand Americans living in Baja fulltime, with another 50 thousand having second homes here. At any one time during the Spring through Summer months there could be as many as 500 thousand Americans here. That is not just an economic point of view to see, it could be catastrophic if the cartels start kidnapping these people – not to say that doesn’t happen, it only happens on a very small scale. My point being, if the U.S. takes the stand Mexico is unsafe until the Mexican government can Hobbs / El Machete / 25 resolve this crisis what do we do with those that will remain here in Mexico? I’m sure you understand that those retirees aren’t going to leave, they can’t nor will they leave their homes here,” pausing for affect and allowing Jackson to visualize all the retired Americans he knows that live as neighbors near him. “You know they would stay, but what about those they would leave and abandon their life’s savings, what do they do next? Then there is the economic impact to the Mexicans that have created a life supporting the Americans here. All their livelihood is gone, too. Where will they turn? What will they do? It all leads back to the cartels. And so it is the strategic strikes by the Mexican government, with information, tactics and equipment all provide by the U.S. government that is the only way to deal with the cartels. There truly is only a limited plan that can be developed to deal with them without creating a much worse and longer lasting problem,” she explained. Rebecca’s words were clear and poetic in nature. She had given this speech many times and placed emphasis in all the right places. Jackson was reeling from the impact of having his eyes forcibly opened to the real Mexico. A Mexico much different from the quite walks on the beach with his family, or the mom and pop taco stands on the corner, or even the swap meats – a Mexico with a gruesome quite side that was no longer quite. Jackson’s mind continued to gauge her words against into his questions, and realized all that remained was blame. He had to blame someone and their needed to be punishment for that blame. “If you knew Mexico was so unsafe why didn’t the government stop us from buying down here?” he questioned. Hobbs / El Machete / 26 “Jackson, there have only been 10 Americans that have been killed in Mexico over the last five years, which may seem like a lot, but let’s put it into perspective. You live in LA, 10 people killed in one month would be normal. What about in DC where your wife’s family is, that would be a bad weekend,” she responded. “I don’t want this to sound like some statistical rational, but there is no longer a place anywhere in the U.S. or much of the world where people are not impacted by violence in some form or another, it’s just the world in which we live in now,” Rebecca continued. They sat quietly for the next several minutes as each absorbed the conversation and its relative impact. Neither ordered breakfast when the waiter returned to refill their coffee, the silence had consumed the moment nor; all Jackson wanted to do was leave. “Rebecca, thank you for all your help, and well, your straight forwardness. Truly I appreciate it, I guess I need to digest this and figure out how to move on,” Jackson lamented. “I don’t know where I’ll go from here; I’m still in a state of shock from it all. I would like to travel back with their bodies if you could make the arrangements,” he said as he gathered is keys from the table and began to get up. “Just one more thing, you mentioned a video… can I see it?” he asked. Rebecca reached into her portfolio and pulled out a disk and slid it across the table toward Jackson. She gave him a consoling yet very serious look and said, “You didn’t get this from me.” Hobbs / El Machete / 27 Hobbs / El Machete / 28 Chapter Six “the outsiders of time and place” The cool fall day cut through Jackson’s mind and briefly allowed him to focus on the moment. Yet his attention span was brief and without merit. His mind consumed and yet empty all at once. As they left the cemetery he began to realize he was alone in this. Friends and family hugged each and walked closely back to their cars, Jackson continued to sit staring at their caskets. The funeral albeit the saddest moment of his life, seemed beautiful, reflective of the two brilliant lights it represented. He didn’t speak at the funeral home, nor at the cemetery. No words could capture his pain. Eulogies were given by family and even friends who had traveled from the West coast to share in the “celebration” of their lives. He was briefly left alone with his thoughts, “my wife and daughter were loved so much, why wasn’t it me and spare all this pain for everyone?” When they arrived back at Jenn’s parent’s house he first noticed the pristine white linen table cloths placed over the buffet tables in the dining room. He thought how absurd this all was, they were dead and these people felt the need to break out the fine china. “Is it me or have they lost their fucking minds?” he thought. “Hold it together and this will be over soon,” he lamented to himself. He tried greeting family and friends from the funeral but could never find the words, “Jenn would know how to handle this, she would have been a wonderful host even in this situation,” he thought. Eventually he found himself sitting quietly alone in the in the sun room as the wake continued into the evening. He nursed his fourth scotch and water and stared into the backyard Hobbs / El Machete / 29 of her family’s house. It had been two days since he brought their bodies back East and he longed for a time when he could be alone. “The good thing about family is they are always there, the bad thing about family is they are always there,” he thought. He needed this moment of alone, to comprehend and assimilate, but he only felt lost, not just the “confused and don’t know what do to next” lost, but rather the complete void of emotions, desire even pain. Occasionally someone would check on him and attempt a conversation or relive a memory or story about Jenn and Bethy, but it was rare. He was sure her family and their friends must have found his behavior to be cold and callused, for that matter he was equally sure his parents were a little embarrassed. It didn’t matter, he was the outsider, or so he felt. There was nothing that could be said or done to change his heart right then. His thoughts raced between the pain of losing them and feeling that he had somehow taken them away from “their friends and family.” He was the outside element here, even from his own family. His father barely offering a consoling word, his mother’s first words “oh Jackson, why?” when he told them of their death pierced him sharply and he could not let it go. His brother, never close, always making him feel second in line to him offered to help pay for the funeral, another painful reminder he was far more successful then Jackson. Jackson was outside looking in on the death of his family and no longer cared. Maybe it was the consolation that he knew and loved them intimately far beyond what others saw and they loved him as well that kept him going. Jackson often thought Jenn may have “married down” with him, but there was still love. He had always felt he had let people down, never living up to what he was supposed to have become and this was that transcending moment of realization. He is what they all thought he was – less then what she deserved. Hobbs / El Machete / 30 He heard from the living room a mild commotion, “look, here it is” someone said as the volume of the TV was raised. Jackson could hear the news reporter and he knew it was from Fox News because that was the only news allowed in Jenn’s parent’s house. He gathered himself for a brief moment and moved into the living room to see the report but as he passed the threshold into the living room he felt the overwhelming power of their eyes as he walked into the train wrecked remains of his life. “A State Department spokesperson has confirmed two Americans were killed over the weekend in a shootout between Mexican drug cartels and Mexican military forces at a checkpoint in Baja, California, 15 miles south of Tijuana. The State Department spokesperson declined to provide a statement, pending notification of next of kin and that additional information would be made available later. However, the spokesperson did confirm the two Americans, a 32 year old mother and her 11 year old daughter while vacationing in Mexico near Tijuana were innocent victims when gunfire broke out between Mexican officials and drug cartels from Juarez, Mexico in an apparent attempt to bring drugs up from Baja, California.“ The reporter continued with her report talking about numbers of deaths in Mexico each year and most particularly in the border towns, yet Jackson’s only thoughts were to Rebecca, he was sure she was the spokesperson and was thankful, at least for now that, Jenn and Bethy’s names were not included in the story. It would have made it far too real, even more so than the reality he was struggling to accept. The mingling and whispers had died down as Jackson left to return to the sun room. Pastor John, or so he was called by his parish followed along. “Jackson may I sit with you,” he asked. Hobbs / El Machete / 31 Jackson gave him a nod and reached for his scotch which by now was well watered down by the ice leaving a ring on the table. Pastor John sat across from him and pulled from his jacket a flask. “Care to share” as he offered to Jackson. “Sure,” as a brief grin and slight chuckle came from Jackson. They traded sips from the flask, Jackson thought but dare not comment on the high quality of the whiskey. He wasn’t in the mood for the “all things happen for a reason” or the “they are in a better place” sermon for which he was sure to get. But he waited for it nonetheless out of respect for Jenn who often spoke about Pastor John. He married them, but Jackson always found an excuse to avoid attending service while they dated and never really knew him. “They are quite a group aren’t they?” Pastor John stated. “How do you mean?” asked Jackson, not sure where the conversation would be going, yet hesitant nonetheless. “I mean, albeit a terrible time, they still put out the red carpet with all the trimmings,” stated Pastor John. Jackson, snickered as he both noticed the seemingly inappropriately lavishness of the setting and the mixed metaphor the Pastor used. “You know sometimes they drive me crazy with their control and over zealousness with the things they do at church events,” Pastor John continued. “It’s funny they relish the opportunity to take charge and bask in the essence they create. I often have to tell myself why they do it,” he said as he raised his eye browse and shook his head. Hobbs / El Machete / 32 “You see a man feels his reward from his work and family, a woman, on the other had, if she doesn’t work, receives hers from her family, home and these events. Whether it’s a funeral or wedding, Christmas or Easter, it’s their Super Bowl if you know what I mean,” Pastor John proclaimed. Jackson sat without expression but could not resist the temptation to agree completely with him. “Jackson you feel lost here don’t you?” Pastor John stunningly asked. “You probably are feeling like an outsider and truthfully, I think you know you are. But remember both Jennifer and Elizabeth loved you so dearly and it was the family that the three of you created that made them most happy. You were as much a part of them as they were of you. So you see in essence it is those people in the other room that are outsiders, not you,” he spoke in an assuring voice. Jackson broke a slight smile and offered a delicate head nod at confirmation of Pastor John’s words. They sat still for a few moments as the words and realization of the concept sank in for Jackson. “You know I feel guilty for many things right now, most of all, I feel I didn’t protect them. But I can’t accept the blame for moving to the West coast. It was Jenn’s idea to chase her dream career. I was along for the ride, as was with most things in our marriage,” Jackson stated as he lowered his head and in a manner more to give himself some relief than to make a point. “I know, she told me before you guys left,” Pastor John assured. “They know too,” as he looked into the living room, “and I don’t think anyone feels it was your fault,” Pastor John continued. Hobbs / El Machete / 33 “So tell me why do they call you Pastor John,” Jackson asked, although partially dreading an answer which might resemble the teachings of John the Baptist or something. “I’m Polish and my last name is Blagoavich, and everyone just butchers the hell of it, so it’s Pastor John,” he replied. “Jackson, I can offer you words of encouragement from the Bible, and even more generally from life, but I think they would fall on deaf ears right now and I’m also a little too buzzed. But I will offer this, deal with this on your time schedule, and in your place of reality, and let everything else wash away like the rain.” Pastor John said as he drank the last sip of whiskey and put the flask back in his jacket pocket. “Please allow me a moment to tell you something about myself,” he said as he repositioned himself in the wing-backed chair. “I was in my first year of residency at Jefferson Memorial and I thought I had life just about where I wanted it… little did I know I would find out just how far away from it I actually was. A man came into the ER with his young son who was very sick after undergoing chemo for leukemia. The man was nearly out of his mind with grief and yet after we got his son stabilized there was no relief for him, then it hit me… he had no insurance and was buried under a lifetime of debt from his son’s illness. He no longer could focus on his child, or even why he was a father in the first place,” Pastor John paused, to look up at Jackson and moved to the edge of the chair. “Now you are probably thinking much like I did, that he was some sort of self-absorbed asshole (forgive me father) but no, he was a caring and loving man just destroyed by the world in which we live in believing that he must cover his debts, take care of his family, give them the Hobbs / El Machete / 34 best he can. He was so far out of focus on what was truly important he tried to kill himself later that night so that his family could get the life insurance and start over.” Pastor John leaned back in the chair and looked outside. “I was still in the ER when he was brought back in, he was in a coma from the pills he had taken but there was a striking difference in him… he had a sense of peace about him. He no longer cared about himself or what he was supposed to do with his life, he had given in and let go. God spared him in that moment and he would recovered. That was also my moment; my time to see that all that I was doing was for others, not for me. It wasn’t my place in this world, so I left medical school and entered the seminary. I felt God’s peace for that man and wanted to help people find that peace in their everyday life.” Pastor John quietly and seemingly finished making his point raised from the chair and reached into his pocket and gave Jackson his card telling to call anytime if he needed anything. Jackson stared at him in a different perspective, one more of understanding and appreciation and less contempt for the clergy as he most often had throughout his life. Before Pastor John left the room he turned and looked directly at Jackson in a manner more of a coach motivating his players and with a tone of confidence he said, “we all have a time and place to be who we really are, and whether God talks to you or whether or not you listen when he does, you will know yours. Time and place, Jackson. Time and place.” Hobbs / El Machete / 35 Chapter Seven “living is the hard part” Jackson and his father arrived at Reagan International Airport two hours before his flight was due to depart for L.A., his father’s demands to be there two hours early always grated on Jackson’s nerves. He was, however, grateful that security measures would not allow nonpassengers to go past the initial checkpoint into the airport and he would soon and finally be alone, well alone with 5,000 other travelers. Their small talk from the house had seemed meaningless and Jackson was somewhat thankful for it, although, he didn’t quite understand it from his father. Sure his father loved him and rarely dared to dive into the deep end of a conversation that he couldn’t completely control the outcome, but this seemed different. As the car stopped and his father put the Buick in Park, Jackson quickly grasped the door handle in an effort to keep the momentum of his successful trip to the airport without incident going and turned to exit the car when his father grabbed his arm…. “here it comes” Jackson thought. “Son, I want you to know you don’t need to go back to L.A., you can stay here for a while and heal,” he said in a rather fatherly manner. “I know Dad, but I need to deal with this while I can.” Jackson responded quickly with a slight effort to get out of the car. “Jackson, take your time with this. Look, I know it was never your decision to move out west, so stay here. You could work at the firm until you get settled in again,” Jackson’s father spoke with a slight rise in his voice of concern. Hobbs / El Machete / 36 “Dad really I’ll be fine, and I need to do this on my terms,” responded Jackson with a more urgent tug away from his father’s grasp. “Just think about it, okay?” said his father as he let go of his arm. They both exited the car and made their way to the trunk for Jackson’s bags. Jackson could see there was more coming from his father and quickly searched for a Skycab as an excuse to extricate himself from the pending final words. “Jackson, look I didn’t want to talk to you about this now, but if you stay and work at the firm, I know several Senators that we could line up to take a stand against the illegal drugs flowing into this country. We can make a difference with your help Jackson, their deaths don’t have to be in vane.” He proclaimed. And there it was, Jackson completely unaware his father would take that approach, but not completely surprised by it either. He paused, stricken by both anger and disgust. How could his father think that one, Jackson would ever work for his conservative lobbying firm, but more importantly, how could his father use the death of his family as political pawns to move along an agenda. He felt too raw from the past week’s events to lash out as he normally would have, and merely took several deep breaths. As he collected himself visions of Jenn and Bethy streamed through his consciousness giving him strength and oddly patience. “Dad, look I appreciate your concern for me, but I will never allow you nor anyone else to portray their lives as solely about their deaths and how they died. Damn it, Dad, they lived a beautiful life and that’s how people need to remember them not on some fucking brochure to raise money for border patrols! Fuck!” Jackson yelled as he grabbed his bags and stormed off into the airport. Hobbs / El Machete / 37 It would take nearly 30 minutes to get through the security checkpoint, but the standing and shuffling seemed to allow him to vent his pain and frustrations with his father. Jackson, knew deep inside his father was a good man, a man with great convictions, just not Jackson’s. By the time he reached the security scanners and had to nearly undress for the TSA agent he was nearly normal again. Maybe the pain and despair of the past week had taught him to let go more easily now. He could certainly remember times when his father would say something that would so infuriate him he might not speak to him for months at a time. But this time it was different, maybe the shear scope of what his father said seemed beyond belief or the fact it came from his heart as well. Jackson thought, after all “he did lose his daughter-in-law and his very loving granddaughter, but sometimes he can be the biggest, most obnoxious ass.” His plane was delayed and he found a wireless internet site in one of the airport bars. He chuckled at the name of the bar, “it’s noon somewhere” which seemed the most apropos name for a bar in a major airport. Although it was only 10:00 a.m. it certainly was noon somewhere and he ordered a 22oz Corona and shot of tequila. He sat quietly allowing the beer and shots to take their intended affect and scanned his email for nothing, but felt the need to do it just the same. It was by a shear instinctive desire when he opened up a “Google” search page and typed in “Mexican Drug Cartels.” To his shock over 1.5 million results turned up from newspapers, news reports, FOX News, MSNBC, CNN, BBC, NY Times, LA Times, Mexican news papers, and even YouTube. He scrolled through the top page of most recent and tagged articles like Wikopedia and found one that struck his interests more than the others. “La Familia drug cartel leader killed,” an MSNBC report on the death of the La Familia drug cartel leader after two days of shooting and clashes with Mexican police and Hobbs / El Machete / 38 military across the entire western state of Michoacan. His heart began to pound and his hands shook as he continued to read. His fear felt real and yet he was only reading about something that had happened nearly a year ago. As he continued to read he learned about how they came into power, by breaking away from the _____ cartel and announced their presence by throwing severed heads into a nightclub. Jackson’s fear continued as he read more on the cartels and yet he could not stop. He was drawn to follow link after link of stories of devastating terror and violence imposed by the cartels. Each cartel had a different region of the country and each region had a different method of trapping, controlling and inflicting tremendous violence against the people. His flight had been boarding for nearly 10 minutes when he heard “final boarding” and slammed shut his laptop, through a $20 dollar bill on the table and raced for his gate. He was no longer angry with his father; he was consumed by the need for more information on the cartels. As he finally reached his seat he realized his mind was awash by the flood of information and pictures and images he just witnessed, seemingly as if they had just happened. He couldn’t believe all that was out there and yet he had known so little but more importantly he had allowed his family to be so near to all. He would have to learn more, and would not stop until he had a full understanding of all elements of the cartels, their impact on life both in Mexico and within the U.S. Over the next five hours until he landed in LAX International, Jackson seemed lost in the barrage of impressions pounding through his inner most thoughts. Pastor John’s words of “time and place” kept running through his head like an out of control freight train. “What the fuck was he talking about again?” he kept thinking as he tried to remember the message behind his Hobbs / El Machete / 39 pseudo-sermon. He struggled to gather his luggage and hailed a cab outside the airport. He had forgotten his father had sent a car for him and walked right past the driver holding the “Billings” sign as he left the airport. It had taken nearly an hour after leaving the airport to get home and as he glanced over at the meter to be shocked at the $127.73 it displayed, then it hit him, “Fuck the car service!” “Oh, well I’ll deal with that later,” he thought. Without speaking a word the entire time from the airport and he went into a quick panic mode realizing he probably didn’t have $20.00 on him to pay the cab. “Excuse me, I’ll need to stop at an ATM to get you some cash, so when you get off the Interstate, there’s a convenience store right on the corner, please pull in,” he muttered to the driver. “Hey man, it’s no big deal I take credit or debit cards,” responded the driver. Jackson thought for a moment and realized he would want more beer and for some reason he really wanted a cigarette. “No that’s okay, please pull in anyway,” Jackson insisted. As the cab pulled into the OXXO station Jackson momentarily created a shopping list but realized he couldn’t focus well enough to remember anything of what he had at the house nor what he wanted and quickly jumped from the cab and scrambled into the store in a frenzy. He found the ATM in the far corner of the store and briefly thought of the science of “locations of ATMs within a convenience store,” and realized, “fuck I am losing it.” He punched in his code, took out $400.00, stuffed the receipt in his pocket along with the money, and grabbed an 18-pack of Heineken, a bag of chips and rushed to the counter. The attendant, a young Mexican- Hobbs / El Machete / 40 American girl in her 20s, waited patiently for him to arrive at the counter and asked if he needed anything else, and he realized, “oh yeah, let me have a pack of Marlboro Lights and a lighter,” he said, knowing no one could bitch to him about smoking again and it made him feel good. It only took 10 minutes more to arrive at the house and Jackson could hardly wait to bust open the beers and fire up a smoke… “Damn I’m 16 again,” he briefly thought. He gathered his bags from the trunk of the cab and lumbered up to the door, his hands began to shake as he fumbled for his keys, as this would be the first time he had been home since their death. He quickly scanned the mailbox for mail and realized his neighbor Ruth would have picked everything up and since she had a key she would have laid everything on the countertop, neatly organized by the days in which she came over. As he entered the alarm chirped loudly and startled him, before he could come to grips with being in the house alone, he had to punch in the code. That seemingly simple mental break from reality forced him for a brief moment to come to grips with the realism of it all and took several deep breaths as he scanned the house. He stood quietly, motionless for several moments and could visualize Jenn and Bethy coming to greet him from a business trip. He noticed everything, seemingly for the first time. He stayed still in the vestibule and listened, smelled, relived their life there together. He finally made his way into the kitchen and placed the beer in the fridge and was caught off guard by the smell of two-week old food sitting, but made no effort to clean it out. He pulled a beer from the box, through the remains in the fridge and shut the door, “something to do later,” he thought regarding the smell. He took a deep gulp of the beer and leaned against the counter, the house looked as if a maid had just been there and wondered how long this clean look would last – he knew he was going to Hobbs / El Machete / 41 have the house looking like shit within an hour or so. He grabbed the pack of cigarettes and without hesitation ripped off the plastic pulled one out and lit it…. Four years had passed since his last one and he had no regrets. It burned his lungs as he inhaled deeply, it stunk tremendously bad and yet he didn’t care. “There must have been a reason I loved smoking for all those years,” he thought and took another drag. He quickly became dizzy and light-headed by the time he took his second large gulp of beer and third drag from his smoke, so he shook his head and walked to the sink to put it out. He ran the water to extinguish it and tossed it in the garbage under the sink to hide his evidence. “Now what?” he thought. He glanced over at his luggage still at the foot of the stairs and he had no intentions of taking them upstairs yet, then looked for the mail which was likely to be quite large after two weeks. He found it neatly piled up on the dining room table, all by day it was brought into the house, along with a card sitting in front. Ruth was a dear woman that had been their neighbor since they moved in five years ago. She sort of ran the cul-de-sac and took care of the holiday block parties, the collection of seasonal gifts for the mailman and garbage-men and was great at watching your house if you are gone longer than a few days. He read her card and was touched by the kind and sweet words. It was easy to tell she was well educated and sophisticated, a woman of social conscience. Jackson would hug her tightly the next time he saw her, but that was later and now the mail. He had a feeling a dread which he neither understood nor had planned for as he fingered his way through the stacks. He chose to go oldest to newest and found the six stacks all bundled in rubber bands with a yellow sticky attached indicating the date Ruth had come over. Hobbs / El Machete / 42 He fumbled through everything and laid out the four bills he had to deal with, cable/internet, cell phones, “shit I’ll have to cancel two of them,” he thought, electricity, and water. He was thankful that Jenn handled most of these bills online and even more thankful she had showed him everything about where they were, and even the passwords to the accounts. It wasn’t until he reached the final stack of mail that it hit him. Amongst the normal crap of the impending holiday shopping season were two large envelopes, Jackson felt a pang of emotion roll over him as he opened the first, never looking at the return address but knew it was something related to the girls. Contained within the large manila envelope were eight death certificates. “What the fuck, why are there eight death certificates?” he muttered aloud, confused by the number. There were two Mexican death certificates from the hospital in Rosarito, one for each of them, and six from the State Department. Inside he found a hand-written note from Rebecca expressing her condolences, and telling him that the six death certificates should cover any legal needs he may have but if he needed more to call her. She also included another business card which on the back she had written her personal cell number and note to call anytime. He was grateful to her for her candor and professionalism while in Mexico. He would call or send an email later thanking her. He paused as he slowly set the documents on the table surprised by his lack of emotions, “is it the beer, or the exhaustion,” he thought. Thankful that he could continue without breaking down, he grabbed the next envelope. This time he did look at the return address, “shit it’s the insurance” and his heart began to race again. “They better not fuck with me, not now,” he thought with an angry heart as he hated all insurance companies. Hobbs / El Machete / 43 Within the envelope was a cover letter, saying that within the package was a bank transfer notice showing they had wired the $250,000.00 life insurance policy into his checking account and enclosed a check for their SUV which was made out to him and the Bank to cover the total loss of the vehicle. He stood back from the table and realized that was it…. They were gone and everything was closed out. He thought about Bethy’s school and realized he had called them from DC, and they would send over a letter for him to sign removing her from the roster. He thought about Jenn’s work and remembered her boss and several of her coworkers flew out from L.A. to attend the funeral and even gave him a package from their HR department, along with a bank notice showing payment for the rest of the month, her vacation days and a separate set of documents to transfer her 401K into his account. “It’s done? It’s all done, holy shit it’s all fucking done,” he said allowed. Seemingly shocked by the simplicity of the process, and yet overwhelmingly grateful he had no battles to fight over obtaining the death certificates, or dealing with the dreaded insurance company. He set the remaining letters on the table and walked back into the kitchen and slowly took another beer. He was confused, almost lost by the smoothness of closing out someone’s life. “How can someone die, and in a few days, everything is closed out?” he thought. “How can it be so simple?” he questioned to himself. “Living is the hard part, it’s so much easier to die,” he said allowed and drank the remainder of his beer. Hobbs / El Machete / 44 Chapter Eight “another dimension of reality” Notes: KEY THINGS TO DEAL WITH, HIS LONLINESS, DESPAIR FOR LOSING HIS FAMILY, DESIRE TO RETURN TO MEXICO WHERE THEY WERE HAPPY AND RESEARCH ON THE CARTELS WHICH LEADS TO REVENGE. Talk about their courtship, how it began, their discussion of children and how things have changed over the past 10 years and how their life’s had begun to become so routine his will was broken. He must return to Mexico with an initial plan to bring their things home and sell the house. He misses their home in Baja in some way because it was the only place they all seemed happy, in their own simple way. The two girls together and him left somewhat alone with his thoughts. Talk about his father, a strong military man who later got into politics, once running for governor of Virginia. Talk about his brother, older wiser and more successful than he was. Jackson finds himself obsessed with the details of his family’s death and continues his research to find the true impact of the drug cartels’ impact on Mexico and the U.S. which leads him to Isabella Salazar, a Mexican-American journalist hiding from the drug cartels after writing a series of devastating articles on the brutality, victimization, and corruption of the cartels. He finds her through his research on the Internet, her articles are the most informative and influential. They seem to capture the essence of the “jefes” of the cartels and most particular Juan Carlos of Tijauna. links that provide information on the individual cartels and the types: some are just growers, some are only traffickers (which move the drugs from the growers to the distribution cartel) and some are end-to-end. He is able to find the cartel that was responsible for killing his family. Jackson arrives home to find he can barely tolerate the loneliness and sadness of not having them with him. He considers suicide for the first but not the last time in phase of weekend drunkiness and pain. He then determines if suicide is a viable plan, why not go on a suicide trip to kill the leader of the cartel. Jackson found sleep extremely difficult throughout the night, visions of their life’s together flashed through his head. Focusing on any one vision became nearly impossible as they would meander into another like walking through a forest that one would have walked through a thousand times and each opportunity to take a new path brought up new memories of what lay ahead. He rarely found himself crying, but mostly despair. His life had become “their life” Hobbs / El Machete / 45 together and he no longer knew who he was, certainly even more so without them. He had bouts of anger and rage even, but mostly the loss of self seemed to be the prevalent emotion. He tried to allow himself to go down a “mind trail” now and again and found pleasure in the memories. He thought about the first years with Jenn and how they were so adventurous together. Soon he realized it was Jenn that was adventurous; he was merely along for the ride. Maybe it was his nature to allow her to take control of their life together. Maybe it was that formula that made them work so well, Jenn taking the lead and Jackson being supportive riding shotgun. He recalled many great times they had in the DC area after college and shortly after they got married. She always had a plan for them and stayed focus on it throughout their life. His plan, was, well to follow along with hers it seems. He took the first job out of college as an advertising research assistant, all on the recommendation of Jenn. She knew although he probably would become bored with it, if Jackson worked for a large firm he could find structure and move along at least on a path of potential success. Jackson broke from his mental meanderings to get up and make some coffee. Today was his first true day of being alone and he already feared the unknown. It was after 10 a.m. when he finally got down to the kitchen. He was so used to Jenn already having the coffee ready and half drunk by the time he got up he found another reason to feel their loss. He sat quietly sipping his coffee when he saw the cigarettes on the counter and knew they would give him shit for smoking again, which just spurned more feelings of profound loss. He was slowly and painfully moving away from the man he was with them into someone he didn’t know. Someone alone, lost, without guidance or love. “If this is the beginning of my life without them, then how much worse can it get?” he thought. He reached for the box of smokes Hobbs / El Machete / 46 anyway and lit one, somewhat in defiance of what Jenn or Bethy would say, or maybe because he needed to do wrong so that he could find what was right? He was bewildered by his own behavior, and yet took another drag. From his vantage point in the kitchen he could see all of the dining room, the backyard and patio, and the living room. There had not been a sound in the house since he got home and he relished the quietness of this time. He could see them in everything he looked at, but it wasn’t the visions he wanted. He saw the furniture which he never cared for and was always concerned about how much it cost. He saw the 42” plasma TV mounted on the wall, and although he loved it he remembered how he felt when Jenn had to have it even though she rarely watched TV. He looked into the dining room and saw the contemporary style oversized dining room table which they had to have because it matched the new furniture which they couldn’t afford and it went on and on. He was realizing something, something he feared more than anything. Maybe they were not a family and he was just there with the two of them to fulfill a quota. “But what about Mexico?” he thought. “We always seemed to find our way when we are together down there. Why couldn’t we find it here?” he said aloud. His mind wondered between the warmth of their family life down there and the cold, seemingly fake lifestyle they had in L.A. Jackson tried to find a rational reason for the disparity between the two lives and attributed it to “being on vacation.” The more he thought of Mexico the more images of Bethy came to mind. She was always the one to push another weekend down there, always pushing for an extra day. Both Jackson and Jenn wondered why a young girl as precocious and outgoing like her would want to spend all her time with her parents and not with her friends – but they were Hobbs / El Machete / 47 grateful nonetheless. A smiled graced Jackson’s face as he continued to think about his baby girl. She seemed like a dream child, smart, beautiful, inquisitive of life and empathetic all in one. He replayed her amazing moments of childhood and pre-teen antics in his mind and couldn’t help but smile and feel the warmth of her tender heart and youthful soul. His moment was dashed when he was startled by the phone ringing bringing him back to reality. He snatched the cordless phone from the base and prepared to bark at whomever it was calling for interrupting this moment with his Bethy. “Hello,” he said in a loud and assuming voice. “Jackson, this is Bill, I… uh… just wanted to check on you to see if there is anything you need,” asked his boss in that inquiring tone that said, “are you coming back to work tomorrow?” Jackson quickly realized he was at the end of his two week bereavement leave from work, and scrambled to think about what he was going to do. There was no way he could go back to work tomorrow and face all those people he could barely tolerate in the best of times. “Bill, yeah, I’m okay, but I’m going to need some additional time to deal with a few things,” he said, knowing that he could get a two week extension without having to use his vacation time. “I’m going to take the full four weeks of bereavement leave if I can?” he stated, putting Bill in a position that only an unsympathetic jackass would turn down. Jackson paused; he had nothing further to say, and waited for the confirmation so that he could get off the phone as soon as possible. He had no inclination to spend one moment longer than necessary talking to or even thinking about his job. “Well, okay, yeah that will be alright. Is there anything we can do for you here?” Bill responded having the wind quickly and surgically taken out of his sails. Hobbs / El Machete / 48 “No Bill, I’m okay, I just need more time to deal with things down in Mexico, you know State Department and the police, and all,” he said as he avoided rambling on with his lie. Their conversation ended nearly as abruptly as it had begun. Jackson savored the moment of telling his spineless, mindless, company-man boss what “HE” was going to do and it felt good, it felt right for once. He had worked for Dunning and Dewitt for nearly 10 years since they moved to L.A. and it was Jenn’s idea (of course) to stay with advertising after his five years back in DC. He had no passion for the industry and spent most of his time working as a middle manager ensuring the creative types completed their tasks that the business types had developed for the executive types to present to customers and the Board of Directors. He didn’t quite hate it, but truly had no passion or spark. Yet at this moment he was thankful Jenn had pushed him towards accepting the job, the pay was good, but the benefits and bonuses were the reason he stayed. And now one of those benefits was four weeks of bereavement which would be taken to the fullest. Jackson spent the rest of the morning trying to find that place again where he could feel Bethy’s love and tenderness. Where he could see her playing and growing, it was this moment when he realized something about his angel, she would have come up to him and kissed his cheek and said, “You know why I love you so much, Daddy? Because you are who you are for us.” Those words always seemed strange coming from a young girl, but it was becoming clear to him now. The words of Pastor John, “time and place,” it had meaning, now. It wasn’t his time to do something he loved, or feel challenged or be a success nor was it his place to be a strong leader within his family. It was his time and place to allow them to flourish, and be the brilliant lights they were, his place was to be who they needed him to be – and he was. Hobbs / El Machete / 49 Chapter Nine “…” Notes: Jackson’s extensive research becomes addictive and seems to find a cause in his life. He receives the life insurance settlement and decides he will take some time away from work so instead of selling the beach house in Baja, he sells the house in L.A. and has a moving company put all their things in storage – he finds he cannot return to L.A. Jackson learns that Isabella’s articles are the most in-depth and informative. He learns her life is in danger based on the very detailed articles about the cartels. She has a source within the cartels and has been forced to live her life anonymously and use a pen name in her articles. He decides to contact Isabella to get more information as revenge against the cartels has crept into his mind. His personality has begun to transform from the man that was beaten down by other’s ambition to one where his sole focus is to take control of the remains of his life. He considers suicide but decides that instead of killing himself why not take out the cartel leader that caused the death of his family – death without cause is just dead. He calls Isabella and learns about the Jaurez cartel, and she even provides him with videos taken from police stakeouts (she received these from her source who paid off the police to provide them with the surveillance information). Jackson spends the next two days lost in his research about the cartels. He found each article more engrossing then the last; he is amazed by the increasingly harsher tactics they take to control people. The macabre nature of their acts is what catches Jackson off guard most. He reads about beheadings and rolling the decapitated heads into a bar to announce that a new cartel is taking over a region in Michoacan. He finds stories of woman who are raped and branded with letters carved into their skin for being involved with traffickers from rival gangs. The cartel’s influence seems to have no bounds on the officials within a city or state and even entire regions of Mexico. They extend in every element, through mostly the police and politicians, but also in the military. There are stories of politicians that support the cartels either by informing them of impending police actions and even sometimes as direct members of the cartels. The stories of the corrupt police include police chiefs, and senior officers warning the cartels, and if Hobbs / El Machete / 50 captured, they are rescued by the cartels and work directly for them no longer hiding behind their fake badges. The stories reminded Jackson of the ‘70s and ‘80s when it was common place to find entire police precincts on the take in large American cities. He shakes his head in disbelief as that was twenty years ago in America and these stories are only five years old in Mexico. “Did they learn nothing from our failures?” he thinks. Of all the research he did he found most prominently the writings by Isabella Salazar, a Mexican-American living in California, who wrote several articles detailing the inner workings of the cartels. Surprisingly she provided in-depth information, “she must have an inside source,” Jackson thought. Her most prominent article was published in the NY Times outlining the Mexican drug industry from the perspective of someone who knows. It also seemed to challenge the government officials. In a sense she was saying here is all the information you need to know, take some action. Her article was truly an A to Z, describing the rise of the cartels from the role of providing transport of Pablo Escobar’s Medellin Columbian cocaine safe passage and entry into the U.S., to the creation of the Cartels in the early ‘80s starting with Felix Gallardo the original Mexican Godfather. She explained in intricate detail how Gallardo, in fear of losing his entire empire in a simple police action, created a network of cartels, in a sense privatizing the drug trade in Mexico. Jackson seemingly transfixed by her words read aloud: “Gallardo assigned regional and border control to the specific cartels, all with agreements between them. The Tijuana trafficking went to the Villegas brothers, Juarez was controlled by Carrillo Fuentes (“El Gallo” as he was called), Miguel Caro Quintero would run the Sonora corridor. The control of Matamoros, Tamaulipas (later becoming the Gulf Cartel) was directed Hobbs / El Machete / 51 by Juan García Abrego. Finally, the Pacific coast operations became the Sinaloa Cartel run by Joaquin Guzman Loera and Ismael Zambada Garcia. These cartels worked together based on their overall control by Gallardo, yet in 1989 when he was arrested along with several others, and coupled with the greed associated with the immeasurable amounts of money the fragile agreements were soon and often broken. This gave rise to the inclusion of a new cartel, Los Zetas, made up of elite former soldiers which had previously been a “murder for hire” and kidnapping and extortion gang, but now they would work exclusively for the enforcement and protection of the Gulf Cartel. As with all businesses, a counter-offer was given to Los Zetas and they shifted allegiance to the Sinaloa Cartel against the Gulf Cartel.” Jackson seemed lost in the flood of information and reread the article again and again, digesting, and visualizing the regions of Mexico. He pulled up the associated map of the cartel’s regional control and memorized each region. At first they seemed like names to a country or state, somewhat like memorizing the governors of each state, then it dawned on him, “knowing the cartels isn’t the story, knowing the impact of these cartels is the story she is trying to tell.” He found other articles from her that outlined the depth of corruption; she even made seemingly outlandish claims of named police and government officials that worked directly with the cartels. Jackson thought about this at length, and could not understand how a major news paper would write something in a manner “confirming” the corruption of someone unless there was irrefutable proof. She clearly had someone on the inside of the cartels that gave her this information but it had to go beyond mere hearsay, it had to be proven, but how can you prove something like this? He continued to read through her stories, article after article. He found two Hobbs / El Machete / 52 major elements in her writings, the detailed “insider” information and the impact on the people. Her words were poetic and he could see her reading them on a grand stage, like the U.N. “The overwhelming concern for most innocent Mexican families is that they are trapped in a near terrorist state. The cartels of Mexico are gaining and maintaining power through their terror and corruption similar to that of the tribes of the middle east, where the people and laws are controlled by the clerics and their extremist views. The people of Mexico are drowning in the blood of death, torture, fear of reprisal and corruption all at the hands of the cartels and yet they wait. They wait for the nearly impotent Mexican government to stop them and begin the process of healing and rebuilding. Generations are being lost like the souls on a sinking ship without adequate lifeboats as the corrupt Mexican government steams by on lavish cruise liner. How much longer must they wait?” Jackson is in awe at her words and feels an immediate and deep connection to her. She has written about his loss on a grand scale. Revealing the words he could never say about the justice he seeks. “I have lost my family and my life, how much longer must I wait?” he says out loud. It was getting late when Jackson finally closed his laptop, he was drunk again, this time he was near fall down drunk and realized he had sat at his computer for almost 15 hours, most of that time spent drinking and reading. He couldn’t remember if he ate anything since breakfast that morning. His eyes burned from the HD screen on his laptop, that and of course the whole pack of cigarettes he had smoked. He was falling deeper into depression and couldn’t seem to see a way out. He made several attempts to shift his mind onto something other than the girls or their death, but had found that all he was really able to do was read more about the cartels. He remembered talking with his father and proclaiming their lives would never be solely about their Hobbs / El Machete / 53 death, and yet that was all he could focus on at this point. He remembered some kind words from Jenn’s sister, who had lost her husband to cancer a few years ago, when she said, “it will take time, even when you are completely lost, allow yourself some time and it will gradually become easier to breath.” The days seemed to roll together as the cycle of despair gripped him from all angles. After a week of being alone it was evident to him, he must do something other than sit in the house all day reading about the cartels and missing his family. He no longer even listened to the answering machine let alone actually pick up the phone when it rang. The thought of suicide had become a part of his daily norm, and he felt shame for allowing it to creep into his consciousness. He never understood before how someone could allow themselves into such a state of depression that they wouldn’t seek help and yet here he was all within a few weeks of their death. He knew he should reach out to someone for help, but had no inclination or desire. He never thought about the specifics of how he would do it, nor when, just that he wished he could die… here and now. It was Friday, two full weeks since their death. He had been alone for a week, and was showing all the signs of a man lost. He couldn’t remember the last time he showered or shaved, he didn’t even brush his teeth on a regular basis. It was only when the grime and grit from food would stick to his teeth that he would brush them. He had finished rereading excerpts from Isabella Salazar’s articles when he saw her email address. He instantly opened his email and began to type. He did this without thought of what he might say, nor did he have any specific questions, he just needed to know there was a real person at the end of these stories about the animals that took everything in his life away. He wanted her to know he had read her articles, Hobbs / El Machete / 54 and that it touched him to know someone was putting their life in grave danger to tell the rest of the world what he had recently learned. He rambled for two pages on how her stories had touched him, how she had captured the essence of the people impacted by the cartels and the wake of destruction they left behind. He told of how much loss he felt with Jenn and Bethy gone. The words seem to roll from his mind to his fingers, yet when he felt he had said enough he reread his words and nothing made sense. His drunkenness had blurred the lines of communication so badly, it was just the ramblings of someone, without focus, seemingly without a life. He clicked “cancel” and closed the laptop for the day. He was done, he felt his words would have no meaning and certainly not to someone who had apparently lived it in some form on a far greater scale. He had merely lost his family, which could have happened anywhere or by anyone. His loss albeit great to him was nothing compared to the loss of an entire generation as she had written. The next morning, as Jackson woke up realizing his hangover was much worse than expected from the night before, he decided he would write to Isabella. He would compose an articulate message of thanks and tell her his story. He needed someone to tell, someone outside his world, someone that had more than a passing understanding of the impact the cartels had on real life. He didn’t really care if she responded back, but that he had to reach out from his living nightmare to the world. When he had finished composing his email, he reread it twice to ensure the words conveyed his pain, his sorrow, and his thanks. She had become someone larger than his miniscule world could imagine. In his mind she was the truth when the rest of the world only saw the half truths. He even felt a sense of pride within himself, not for his words, but merely because he had written Hobbs / El Machete / 55 to her. He had reached out, hell he had done something, anything was better than nothing at this point of his despair. When he finished he hit send and it was gone. He strangely felt like a new beginning had emerged from within. He needed more new beginnings before he could feel life again, but he also knew it began with one step, something more than a fleeting thought, it took an action and he had done that. He rose from the counter to make coffee and possible wash his nasty ass, but maybe that would wait until tomorrow. He spent the rest of the day, doing simple things, taking the clothes out of the suitcase which was still sitting on the edge of the bed. He had been living on one side of the bed with the other covered in his clothes and the suitcases from the funeral. These simple tasks gave him strength and a small amount of vitality. He knew he had so many more things he needed to get done, including dealing with the house in Baja… but that was way down the road he was sure. As the day carry on, he turned on the TV in the kitchen just to have some noise in the house – assuming that would give him a sense of normalcy. He never checked the channel nor cared, he would attempt to clean the disaster that was his kitchen. It was about an hour into the cleaning when the reporter got to a “follow-up story” about Mexico’s drug war. Jackson immediately stopped what he was doing and turned up the volume. The reporter told of an elderly business man in a small town outside Acapulco. Apparently a small faction of a new cartel wanted the man’s ranch to run their operations from and told him to leave; after the man refused several times they gave him a final warning and told him they would return that night to take it from him. The old man had had his ranch for over 50 years and had grown his business from a small vegetable stand to a chain of produce stores throughout the area. He told his employees he was going on vacation to visit his grandchildren that lived in Mexico City and would not be in to Hobbs / El Machete / 56 work for a few days. When the cartel came to take his land that night they were in for a huge surprise as the 72 year old man opened fire on then killing three immediately and wounding two others. The gunfight continued for nearly an hour before the cartels finally killed him. The man left a note carved into the door of his house, “you can take my land, but you will never take my heart.” Jackson’s eyes welled with tears as he stopped to listen to the story. He was amazed at the courage of an old man. Someone living alone, probably scared beyond belief, and yet not willing to give up something he had worked for his entire life. He thought of the man’s message and anger grew within him. An old man was willing to stand up and say “enough is enough,” when it seemed like an entire nation was sitting idly by as the violence and corruption choked the life out of the country. Jackson pondered about his options at this point, he knew something was brewing yet unsure he could actually do anything. As evening approached and Jackson had spent the bulk of the day cleaning and tiding things up in the house, if for no other reason than the therapeutic benefits manual labor provide he felt good, literally good for the first time in two weeks, maybe months. He thought of the old rancher often throughout the day. His mind played out what he would have done to surprise the cartels if they came knocking on his door. Then he remembered he had sent an email to Isabella and wondered if she might have responded. He quickly opened his laptop and scanned his email for a response. He was shocked to see she had responded and felt his heart pound as he read aloud her reply. Hobbs / El Machete / 57 Mr. Billings, I am terribly sorry for your loss, I am most certain no words could ever lessen your grief. I do however, thank you for your kind words, I had never imagined my writings could help someone deal with such a tremendous tragedy, but am grateful they have brought you some level of peace. Sincerely, Isabella Isabella’s response albeit polite seemed out of place, as if she had never written to someone that had lost anyone, and yet every detail of her articles were about loss in some form or another. Jackson had hoped for something more from her, he just wasn’t sure what. Her response stayed in his head the remainder of the day, and most prevalent during his run. He had chosen this day to begin his venture into getting back into shape as the cigarettes and beer, lack of a balanced diet and certainly no exercise at all were taking a toll on him physically and emotionally. As he took off on his walk, he popped in his ear buds from his iPod and found some motivating music to listen to during the next 30 to 40 minutes. He would walk around Santa Fe Park which was only a half mile from the house and the trail leading up into the canyons would probably be around 4 miles, hopefully that wouldn’t be too much for his first day. He kept replaying in his mind the response from Isabella and realized a couple of things, one, she has felt loss it wasn’t she did say, but more of what she didn’t. And two, she was living her life under an assumed name, “holy shit” he thought, how difficult would that have to be? Hobbs / El Machete / 58 Chapter Ten “…” Notes: He placed the gun under his bed, initially, then he could feel Jenn’s rage at placing it under “their bed” and so he moved it to the garage, he could hear her plane as day, “get that fucking gun out of this house!” He searched for nearly an hour as to where to hide it in the his Volvo wagon. He found the carpet which went up the backs of the back seat could be removed fairly easily since it was only glued into place, he slid the gun there, added a long beach towel rolled up to place on top which made the transition of angles blend easier. He grabbed the glue gun and within five minutes had the gun in the back behind his back seats and even he couldn’t notice anything strange, certainly no Mexican border patrol would notice. Jackson had convinced himself that he would take action to gain, regain or find some semblance of life. He paced the kitchen determined to make today the day it would begin. He paced and thought, attempting to rationalize the only element he had left to deal with – revenge. Today would be the day he would put into action his rebirth. And he paced. His legs wobbled from the exertion of his first day of running. Although Jackson only ran three miles he felt tremendous and yet hurt virtually everywhere below the waist. His emotions seemed muted, possibly by the exertion of the run, or the acceptance of his future – neither mattered since his emotional state had little merit to the past it was the future that needed his focus. If the rest of his life was to be spent as an emotionless drone going through life without a heart, without passion, no desire, nothing, well then he would do the one thing that might change all that… kill the fucker that took his family. “All the great success of a man begins with a plan,” he remembered reading somewhere and so he would plan. The essential elements of the plan: - He knew who the cartel was - He knew the name of the leader - He knew where he lived and even three of the five houses he had Hobbs / El Machete / 59 - He knew how he was going to kill him - He knew how he would get the gun - He had a general idea of how to get it across the border The elements still missing were what scared him. - Would he have the courage to buy the gun - Would he have the courage take it across the border - Would he have the patience to sit and wait for the right opportunity to kill him - He didn’t know if he could find the “perfect shooters location” - He needed a get away plan - He needed an apartment or house near the target Then there were all the things he didn’t know, the things he didn’t know he didn’t know and they scared him the most. But one thing was certain, he would take this one step at a time, neither moving forward nor moving backward without a focused conscious plan in place. He would think through each unknown element with zeal and patience. He would not jump to any conclusions or make any assumptions that couldn’t be substantiated. He would run risk assessments start to finish. His plan would be clean. By the time Jackson had convinced himself he was ready to begin his new life, he had one last looming concern. “What will Jenn and Bethy think of me?” he said out loud. “Will they still love me? Will they understand I need to do this? Will they still need me, do they need me to do this… for them? He continued to talk to them and could feel their presence with him. He was sure of that; he knew they could hear him. But there was no answer, only his words and thoughts filled the room and yet he could feel them there with him. He sank down Hobbs / El Machete / 60 against the cabinets and sat on the floor. He closed his eyes and held his head. He could feel them there with him on the floor as he planned the execution of the leader of the drug cartel that killed them. He languished on the floor for what seemed like an hour, but was more likely only 20 minutes. Jackson was done waiting for his life to begin, if he needed to kill the son of a bitch that took his family, then he would put things into action today. He thought back to his planning criteria… assess all risks, don’t over react, stay focused. He gathered his clothes and toiletries and was quickly out of the house headed to Arizona to purchase the rifle that would give him back his life. He would not return to L.A. until he was done. Phase one of his plan was simple, purchase the gun, drive back into California and down to Baja. Practice with the gun in the desert east of Ensenada, about an hour southeast of the Baja beach house. When he was ready, he would rent a car in Tijuana and drive to Juarez, locate the town where “El Gallo” lived in and begin Phase two, monitoring, tracking and preparing for the kill. He drove along I-8 for hours, a good portion of which he could see the Mexican desert. He longed to get back to Baja, the last place he felt peace and love. “Just one more thing to do, then I’ll be back sitting on the patio, sucking down a cold Pacifico,” he thought. He reached the California-Arizona border quicker than expected and felt relieved that things seemed to be well on track. He crossed into Yuma, and turned south for about 5 miles to the outskirts of the city. And there it was just off of highway 95, in lush green farmland, amidst a budding “snow bird” village, was the “Open Air Desert Market Shopping Center.” This open air market was built under a giant circus tent, holding over 500 vendors, mostly a farmer’s market and tool supplier, Hobbs / El Machete / 61 but also western clothes and some used appliances. Jackson set out, isle after isle looking for the gun shop. He wondered how oppressive the heat must be in the summertime, but obviously business was good as all shops and stations were taken. It took nearly 20 minutes to reach the southeastern edge of the market, but in the back corner sat the “American Gunnery” shop right next to a liquor booth, and he chuckled. He thought there should be a sign between the two of them, “if you can’t fix one problem, you can fix the other,” but it was likely no one would have understood. There was however, a sign posted on the divider between the two stores that gave Jackson a chill, “No discount for ammo: trespassers will only be shot once, but survivors will be shot twice.” These people are seriously deranged, he thought. He entered the store and was amazed at the number of guns available in this 20’ by 20’ space. He was gestured in by an elderly man in his mid 60s, with a full beard, pot belly and wide suspenders holding up his worn jeans. The best part of this character was his t-shirt, “if God didn’t want me to own a gun he wouldn’t have given me a scope for Christmas.” Jackson had a surreal feeling, as if the clichés were part of the marketing. They talked for a few minutes, and although Jackson already had researched what he was looking for he wanted to see if the owner, Jared, had anything different that might interest him. “What are you looking for in the weapon,” asked Jared, in a voice that surprisingly lacked a southern drawl. “Something that would take down a large animal from 100 yards,” Jackson said short and curtly, giving out only the information necessary, as if to say, “I’m going to kill someone, I know it, you know it, so just point me in the right direction.” Hobbs / El Machete / 62 “I have several that can bring down, lets say a bear,” he said offering “air quotes” for emphasis. Is there a chance the bear might have friends that could, I don’t know, throw bear shit at you?” he responded in his own brand of humor. “Semi-automatic, 10 to 15 round cartridge, with scope,” Jackson replied in a voice that seemed more, “I read it on the Internet…” than “I’m actually going bear hunting.” Jared recommended three rifles, all with scopes, all long range, and all with tremendous stopping power. His personal recommendation was the AR 15, with 7.62mm barrel, 10 round cartridge, scope and flash suppressor for night firing. “It’s perfect for a novice shooter and will bring down anything as large as a bear from up to about 500 yards,” Jared declared. Jackson feeling far more comfortable with Jared and the seemingly “lost in the old west” atmosphere responded, “fine, can you show me how it works?” Jared spent the next 10 minutes showing Jackson the weapon. He explained in detail how the scope had already been calibrated and that could be easily removed without affecting the accuracy. Then he showed Jackson the “owner’s manual” and explained the various areas of care for the rifle, it was when he told him about the three shooting modes that Jackson become most interested. “First there is the ‘safety,’ the weapon does not fire in this mode, then there is the ‘semiautomatic’ mode, allowing the shooter to fire a single round after each pull of the trigger, and finally, there is the ‘burst’ which is the same as semi-automatic only that it fires three rounds at a time,” Jared explained. Hobbs / El Machete / 63 Jackson liked this additional option and declared, “I’ll take it, but I’ll need a case as well, something hard for traveling.” He was impressed by Jared’s knowledge and had a whole different view of him than from the persona he portrayed. He was obviously well educated in guns, knew the laws of both California and Arizona and had a passion for his trade – something to be respected he thought. There was little discussion on the price, Jackson paid the $1,700.00, which also included 50 rounds of ammunition and two 15 round magazines. Jared placed the weapon in the case and closed it, accepted Jackson’s Visa, placed the magazines and ammunition in a brown bag with “American Gunnery” emblazed on the sides and looked up at Jackson, with one final comment, “good luck bear hunting Mr. Billings.” Jackson found Jared’s simple understated sense of humor very approachable, he left the Open Air Market and strode out toward his car with a flair of confidence in him, it was obvious he had purchased a rifle by the shear size of the case and the “American Gunnery” bag. He felt manly at this point, maybe for the first time in his life. He chuckled as he walked past a group of men in their 50s as they tipped their cowboy hats to him as if to say, “howdy partner, goin huntin?” The drive back to San Diego seemed to take forever, the two and half hours it took to get to Arizona was now nearly three and he was still 45 minutes from San Ysidro and the border. Traffic was brutal as he neared the city, but he had a bad ass semi-automatic rifle in the back seat and he enjoyed the calming affect it provided. He could barely keep the smile off his face the more he thought about the weapon. He began to think about crossing the border. He had never been stopped in nearly a year of traveling down there, but did once see an American getting their vehicle searched. If he was to go to jail, he would much prefer it be in the U.S. than a Mexican Hobbs / El Machete / 64 jail. He decided to stop at a rest stop along I-8, just outside of San Diego and reposition the rifle under his suitcases and groceries so that the only way the border guard could find the rifle is to pull everything out of the car, something he knew would never happen. It was another hour before he reached the Mexican border and he breezed right through, the random “green” or “red” light to indicate whether a vehicle was to be searched, indicated green, and Jackson thought, “have I ever seen it red?” and what happens if it does? He quickly made his way on the toll road head south to Rosarito. “Another 45 minutes and I’m home.” “Home” he thought, about the girls and felt the pain of disappointment from them. “Girls, I’m sorry, but I need to do this,” he said as a tear rolled down his cheek. His excitement grew as he got closer to the beach house. And then, there it was, completely unexpected the “checkpoint.” His heart pounded causing his hands to shake violently. He had to get control of himself, his shaking could give him away and the Mexican Marines might search the car more thoroughly and find the rifle. “Oh my God,” he said aloud, “what if I get caught with an assault rifle at the exact same spot where my wife and daughter were killed.” He had three cars to prepare himself, his mind scrambled for some way to make his hands stop shaking, “keep them gripped to the steering wheel,” he decided. He approached the first Marine, who with a quick glance motioned him along. He sighed quietly. Two more cars ahead was the main checkpoint. On one side there was a delivery truck with no markings which quickly drew the attention of the Marines. As he approached the Marine, his hand extended and with a cold stair he said, “Basta.” Jackson’s mind began to ramble between what he would do if asked to pull off to the side, and then without hesitation the Marine motioned for another Marine to assist with the inspection Hobbs / El Machete / 65 of the delivery truck and he was only stopping Jackson to allow him to crossover in front of his vehicle. Jackson’s heart skipped a beat and he felt nauseous as he was gestured through the checkpoint. “Holy fuck me in my shitter, that was close,” Jackson said as he drove on. He reached the house within two minutes and was shaking violently from the adrenaline release. He raced from the car into the house and grabbed a beer from the fridge; his first gulp was his only as he downed the entire beer. Sweat pouring from his face and armpits gathered onto his t-shirt. “Fuck, this may not be my sport,” he mumbled wiping the sweat away and reached for another beer. Hobbs / El Machete / 66 Chapter Ten “…” Jackson after recovering from the heart pounding checkpoint ordeal realizes he must prepare better, leave nothing to chance. If it is his life that he wants to restore he must protect it better. He spends a great deal of time researching the houses of “El Gallo” and uses Isabella’s police videos scanning them like a CSI might to find landmarks. He notices several key points of interest, buildings, parks and churches all should provide enough details to use “Google Earth” to find these places in Juarez. He found that by opening several “Google Earth” pages at a time he can find the towns and even streets where “El Gallo” is staying, it only takes a few hours before he can pinpoint all three homes. He prints out pages of the maps and pictures and develops folders he will carry with him when he gets there. He writes out detailed driving directions with landmarks as several of the streets do not have street signs and he wants to avoid any confusion or frustrations when he gets there. He looks for vantage points and find several atop homes and businesses that could possibly provide for a clean shot with a quick get away. He would then retrace using “Google Earth” street view to determine where to place a car, and where to access the rooftops. He feels good about his plan, and yet decidedly not convinced. It will take several days of walking through the details in Juarez before has any certainty and assurances. Later in the afternoon, Jackson takes the gun out for his first “live fire.” His two years in the Army Reserves taught him how to be comfortable around a weapon, but he is still surprised by the ease in which the AR-15 feels in his hands. He has no apprehension about firing the weapon as he thought he might. He thought back to how badly Jenn hated guns, he never had that Hobbs / El Machete / 67 feeling. Jackson was always on the fence with the second amendment and understood both sides quite well. His feelings aside at this point, he was in a totally different world from that now, he needed this weapon now for his life, it was now his job. He slammed the fully loaded magazine into the stock, chambered the first round, aligned the scope to his target, and “click.” “Shit the fucking safety,” he said as he exhaled deeply. He placed the weapon in “semi-automatic” mode and took aim again. The weapon gave an instant jolt of response when he pulled the trigger, his eyes closed by instinct as the bullet ripped through the tree he was aiming at. His aim was significantly off, but he felt comfortable with the weapon nonetheless. He ripped off three more rounds in an effort to give him ease with it, more than to find his accuracy. His accuracy he knew would come as soon as he could keep his eye open when shooting. He practiced for several days and was falling into a routine which he found was more blessing than curse – as the last routine of his life was a stalling marriage. He would wake early, run, practice shooting in the afternoon and drink beer and research the cartels or Juarez City on the Internet in the evening. His nights were spent on the rooftop patio reliving his life with the girls. He would explain to them again and again, why he has to do this so that he can be free. Free to find himself so that he can move on with his life, but he always assured them he would never be without them. After a week of practice and preparation he felt he was ready and began his next Phase. He reserved an SUV from a rental agency in Tijuana for the following Monday, he would have two days to finalize anything else he needed to do. He developed a detail plan on his laptop, much Hobbs / El Machete / 68 like a project plan he would have used at work. He tied the tasks together based on time to start, time to finish and dependencies on other actions. He was impressed by his thoroughness impressed, and wondered if maybe he had put this much effort into the advertising business he might have moved up quicker with the firm – but quickly dismissed that thought. He would review the plan often throughout the day, writing notes as he would find additional information or completed a task. He felt ready, well ready to travel to Juarez anyway. Monday came sooner than expected and yet he was still focused and his will unwavering. Before he would leave for Juarez he needed to ensure he had enough cash on hand. He drove to San Diego to the first Bank of America, or “Bank of Satan” as he referred to them, and withdrew $5,000 in cash. This would give him ample cash on hand to deal with any unexpected issues. He returned to the beach house in Baja and caught the bus back up to Tijuana before noon. The car was ready for him, and he had to return back to the beach house to load it up. He felt tired from all his travels and yet had truly gone nowhere. His plan to be on the road by 3 P.M was still reachable if he hurried loading the car. His only concern was hiding the rifle. He found the Chevy Blazer had a Velcro carpet piece over the back of the back seats, however, when the seats where in the upright position he could easily place the rifle there and it was concealed. “Smoother than expected he thought,” and shut the hatch of the vehicle. He reached Mexicali shortly after dusk, he was on schedule. His plan was simple at this point, stop only in border towns where it was common to see Americans and there was greater security. Pay using only cash, and never pull out of your pockets more than $50.00 at a time. Hide wallets, cell phone, laptop and cash in the vehicle. Keep a close eye on everyone and never leave the vehicle out of sight. He found a Best Western one block from the border, and checked Hobbs / El Machete / 69 into a first floor room facing the street. He grabbed his overnight bag, money, laptop and cooler. He ordered a pizza and a six pack of Indio beer which were soon delivered by two different delivery services. He was asleep by 11 p.m. He was on the road by 5 A.M., well on schedule. He felt no nervousness even though it was his first night in Mexico in a different city and alone. He was focused on his task and would not allow simple things to get in his path. There was about 12 – 14 hours of driving to be done today, most of which would be in the desert without seeing a car for miles and hours. He had laid out Isabella’s notes on the cartels, along with notes he had printed on his research. Additionally, he had placed his detailed map with his reservations at the Holiday Inn in Juarez City. He was prepared, yet he knew things could go wrong. As he drove he thought of the “what if’s….” First there was the most likely, the car breaks down. A simple solution, the rental agency had a “triple A” type service, he had water and cell service on most of the drive. The next was what if the police pull him over? He determined unless they were going to kidnap him, he would simply pay them a hundred dollars or so and be on his way again. He separated three stacks of his cash, $100.00 in twenties in the glove box in an envelope, $250.00 in fifties in the console on his money clip, $225.00 in his wallet in mixed denominations, the rest stashed under the passenger side seat carpet. He was content with paying a nominal amount to keep moving if it came to it. He would not stop for anyone except the police as he had read of several kidnappings and robberies on the highway using young girls as staged decoys. Jackson spent the remainder of the uneventful drive talking with the girls. He explained over and over again, how he had to do this. It wasn’t for their revenge but moreover to free him – he had no choice. He felt they understood and were justifiably worried for him. He knew they were Hobbs / El Machete / 70 as scared as he was and patiently told them of his plan. He carefully and methodically walked through each element and as they infused questions or concerns he addressed them on the spot. By the time he reached Juarez City, he felt they were with him and supported him in this venture. Jackson drove directly to the hotel. He was nearly exhausted mentally from the drive and from the explanation to the girls. Within minutes he was unpacked with the rifle safely inside, along with all his personal belongings. He had initially worried about how he would get it into the room, but used a luggage cart and by placing it on the bottom and surrounded it by other luggage it was concealed. He turned away the bell hop and unloaded everything himself. He feared this might draw attention, but realized that he probably thought this arrogant American didn’t trust the Mexican bell hop more than he had something to hide. Everything was going as planned; he was pleased but knew the most trying moments would come tomorrow. He awoke at his usual 6 A.M., but resisted the temptation to get up because he needed to change his personal time zone to that of “El Gallo’s” who lived during the night and early morning. They were on nearly opposite times, so Jackson went back to sleep until 9 A.M. He would go for a long run, to calm his nerves and get a clear understanding of the neighborhood he was in, just in case he needed to retreat on foot. At 9:30 A.M. Jackson was up and out the door on his run. He ran at a smooth pace, mentally detailing the access points to the hotel, how the main road came in and the nearest cross streets. All seemed normal, yet he noticed the graffiti on the homes was not that of unmanaged teenagers, but from gangs. This meant he would have to be careful while running and anytime he was out of the car he would have to be extremely vigilant. He felt prepared, safe even, and kept running. He knew if he crossed the street he would be within two blocks of “El Gallo’s” Hobbs / El Machete / 71 Thursday night house. He fought off the temptation to take a peak, and soon realized it was the correct move. On the opposite corner was a young boy about 10 playing with a soccer ball, alone, with a cell phone attached to his pants, he was a “Hawk,” someone that calls in any suspicious activity to the drug dealers. Jackson stayed straight on his path and kept within two blocks of the house as a precaution. At the end of the street Jackson glanced down the avenue to see three maybe four more “Hawks” all with cell phones. “This may be more difficult than expected,” he thought. He could see the house and just beyond it was a small butcher shop giving Jackson the idea that it would likely be closed around 8 or 9 P.M. and could be an excellent vantage point to the target. He would check it out later tonight. Jackson finished his run, and was surprised his had completed 6 miles while still pulling in significant streams of information on the target. He sat down and began writing notes to coincide with his action plan. His first concern was the “Hawks,” how to deal with them, when where they there, what time was shift change – if there was one. He opened his laptop to the “Google Earth” maps he had saved of “El Gallo’s” house and attempted to guess where the “Hawks” would be positioned to best protect the house. He could see a four block area that provided 360 degree protection for the house, and Jackson must assume the “Hawks” are at least on these corners. He decides he’ll drive by the house tonight to confirm his assumptions and gather more information. He spends the rest of the day reviewing his notes, the police videos, Isabella’s articles on “El Gallo,” and documenting his new information and questions. Jackson’s focus is keen, more than sharp, he methodically reviews and documents all he knows, and all he needs to learn onto his plan. He is not surprised the list of “assumptions Hobbs / El Machete / 72 requiring confirmation” is long, nor is he surprised his risk assessment plan is only halfway complete. “One task at a time, stay focused and on track,” he tells himself. At 6 P.M. he decides it is time for his first “site visit” and he will use the cover of going out to eat as his reason for leaving the hotel. He has all his maps and “assumptions requiring confirmation” in a folder neatly tucked between the driver’s side seat and the console. Because the house is only two blocks from a main thoroughfare he can make several short drives near the house and get back onto the main road without drawing attention to himself. Within 20 minutes he has confirmed the locations of the “Hawks,” but annotates, “confirm they are always in these locations.” He has also confirmed the operating hours of the butcher shop 8 A.M. to 8 P.M. and that there is an easy access point in the back if he can scale a small chain link fence that backs up to a park. He drives around the park, and is surprised by the amount of trees it has, and also its decrepit state. He tries to recognize the graffiti style to determine if there is a predominant group, such that could mean a single gang hangs out there, or is it just kids with a can of spray paint without parental control. He makes the assumption, it is a mixture, but needs to confirm it later. He fights off temptation to leave the SUV and walk the back of the butcher shop to see if a clean access point is there, but realizes waiting till 10 or 11 P.M. tonight is better. After driving around for an hour, he feels he has gathered enough information without alerting the “Hawks” to his infiltration. He returns to the hotel to document his findings and take a short nap in preparation for his next recon at 10 P.M. He realizes and quickly is pleased with himself that he did not think about the girls while he was out. “Girls, I’m sorry, but I can never let you out there with me,” he says aloud. “It’s just too dangerous for us, and I can’t have my mind focused on anything but this right now.” Jackson Hobbs / El Machete / 73 continues his conversation with for nearly 30 minutes, explaining all he has found out, answering all their questions and reassuring them he can do this. He realizes their nervousness and fear has connected them to him in a way far deeper than anything before and he feels even closer to them. Jackson wakes shortly after 10 P.M. and jumps into the SUV to begin his night time recon, but soon realizes he doesn’t need to rush and potentially make any mistakes. He has two major focuses for tonight: check out the butcher shop and confirm the “Hawks.” He reaches the park and drives around it twice to see if there are any additional “Hawks” he has not accounted for and finds his path to the back of the butcher shop unopposed. He decides to park the SUV at the park where there are several other cars parked yet there is no one at the park. Likely they are there from the houses across the street and his would seem as normal as they appear. Quickly he makes his way to the back of the Butcher shop and finds the chain link is old and would likely make significant noise if he tried to jump over the top. He can see several of the clamps on the side of the fence are broken and rusted and have been replaced by wire. If he can snip the wire and replace it with zip ties he can quickly get it, replace the zip tie and no one would notice. He makes a mental note to go to Home Depot in the morning. He can see into the back of building there are about 10 cases of coke which could provide him a lift to jump onto the 5’ wall then belly flop onto the roof. He feels confident he would be able to do this even with a backpack of supplies and the AR 15. He continues to look for ways in which he might be seen and can’t seem to find any. His excitement swells to near uncontrollable levels as he makes his way back to the rental. He slips out of the neighborhood as quietly as he came in. Along the road to the hotel is a PEMEX gas station, “ah smokes and beer,” he thinks and turns in off the main road. He notices Hobbs / El Machete / 74 as he is walking back from the beer coolers to the front counter there are some tools, including wire snips and garbage bags with zip ties included, so he grabs them and heads to the counter. He is so excited by this find, he doesn’t want to wait until tomorrow to put the plan in place. He mentally walks through the potential risks and feels this is likely safer to return tonight then tomorrow because he knows there is no one out there right now. He pulls the SUV to the same spot he used earlier. He spends a few minutes preparing the himself, he must first break open the snips and retrieve the zip ties from the bottom of the garbage bags box. He feels confident his plan will work and he can hopefully test it out and be on the roof of the butcher shop within minutes. He reaches the fence pausing to ensure everything is still quite and he cannot be seen. He makes two quick snips on the makeshift wire holders and he slips into the back of the shop. He decides not to use the tie zips now, but will when he has the rifle with him. For now it is a quick attempt to get on the roof and determine if there is a shot. He slowly and quietly attempts to pull the crates of coke next to the stucco wall, but the grinding sound is too loud. He stops to look down and examine his options. He sees that several cokes are not completely empty and pours out the remnants on the ground allowing him to move the crates quietly and with ease. He builds two stacks, one of two crates giving him about a 30” lift, and the second with four crates providing clear access to the top of the wall. From there he can reach the rooftop for balance. He turned around to face the rooftop and with one quick effort leapt onto the roof landing cleanly on his stomach. Surprised by the impact and loosing his breath for a moment. Jackson lay motionless for several seconds as he caught his breath. His listened for any response he might have caused by the noise of his landing. He allows himself to lift his head to Hobbs / El Machete / 75 get a better view of his surroundings. The light from the street lamp, although mostly blocked private adequate ambient light to see easily that he has maybe 10’ to the right of him leading to the front of the butcher shop, about 4’ straight ahead to the 50KW transformer mounted on the roof, and another 10’ to the rear of the roof. Jackson is somewhat surprised there is nothing stored up on the roof as is the case in most Mexican stores, but is thankful nonetheless. After a few short moments, he pulls himself the rest of the way onto the roof and crawls to the front of the shop. Although there is some light he is weary of things that may cut his hands or knees as he crawls. Deep inside he has this feeling of childlike giddiness, as if he was playing out a war game, and yet this is very real. As he nears the front edge of the 2’ wall, he pauses to assess his position. His goal now is to determine if others might be able to see him. There are four small trees, yet the canopy cover up most of the top of the wall, so it would be very difficult for someone on the street to be able to see him, unless he made a noise as they happen to pass by, he determines. There are only two houses that are two stories that are nearby, one has no windows facing his position, the other has a bed sheet for a curtain, meaning it is not likely to ever be opened. Jackson slowly and as quietly as possible crawls to the façade edge, placing his head next to the wall. This 2’ wall should provide the cover for him, but he will be completely exposed when preparing for his shot. His nervousness has increased greatly as he pulls his body up against the wall. “First things first, confirm the view to “El Gallo’s” bedroom,” he thinks to himself. He continues his slow and steady movements rolling from his butt and back to the wall, to his knees and slowly lifts his head. From his position he can see “El Gallo’s” house and bedroom, yet the leaves of the tree block it somewhat. He will have to makes some determinations, “is it better to Hobbs / El Machete / 76 sit here partially hidden or move to the corner of the building where there are no obstructions yet the potential to be spotted is greater?” He adds that to his mental list of risk assessments. Jackson takes his time looking and inspecting his position, he mentally devours the view to “El Gallo’s” bedroom. He can clearly see over the 10’ wall surrounding his corner house. The two palm trees that frame the window should not be a problem if the wind is blowing slightly. He adjust his position to a shooter’s one knee stance and places his arms out in the position of holding the AR 15 to confirm his kill shot view. The top of the trees should not be a problem if there is no wind. He has a clear line of sight to the window. From here he takes another look around to see who might be able to see him from the street, using the concept of “if I can see them, they can see me.” He feels confident that unless someone is directly in front of the butcher shop, he should be concealed from their view. He couches down, placing his back up against the wall again – this will be his resting position. From this position, Jackson will be able to sit and wait; he is not concerned about how long he will be up here waiting, as he knows it will be several hours. He can bring water and an energy bar to keep him comfortable. If he needs to piss he can use the water bottle. His mind is slowing down from the adrenaline rush of getting onto the roof and peering over the top. Now he must focus on the minute details. Can he find a comfortable place to sit for five or six hours? But more importantly, can he handle the boredom for that long? He is convinced he will have enough room to stretch out and lie on his back relieving the pain on his butt and if he continues to make small adjustments in his position he should be able to withstand the uncomfortable concrete; as for the boredom, he’ll just have to ‘man-up.’ Hobbs / El Machete / 77 He spends the next 20 minutes reviewing all the “assumptions” he can remember from his list, and wished he had it up here with him. He visualizes the list and scrolls through it as if it was on his laptop and right in front of him. His mind is sharp and focused, when the girls enter. “Please girls, not now,” he implores in his mind. This time they listened, maybe for the first time, maybe because they understand the seriousness of the situation, maybe it is their turn to support him. He shuts his eyes trying to refocus and find his “assumptions” list again. “Ah, the location of the ‘Hawks,’” he remembers. Jackson crawls back to his knees and peers over the wall again, now he must try to look down the street toward the target house. Keeping in mind if he can see them, they can see him. Just across the street on his side of the street he finds one about a block and a half away. He determines as long as he stays down he shouldn’t be spotted by this one. Now to the right, about three blocks away, however, this one may be more difficult to conceal from as the angle view is further away and opens up more. He adds this to the “risks” list and will have to address the potential problem later. He slides back into his “waiting position.” He can’t think of any other “assumptions” or “risks” he needs to confirm from his shooting nest, and makes his way back to the side of the rooftop. As he nears the edge of the house he realizes he has no easy way off this roof. “Oh fuck,” he whispers in near silence. He had jumped and belly flopped onto the roof, but made not mental thought of how to get off. From his knees he could lean over the edge and see that the wall was about 5’ down and at least 30” out. There was no way he would feel comfortable jumping, certainly not without making some noise. He scanned his options, for both his immediate concern and later after his kill shot is made. He recalls when he was on the wall Hobbs / El Machete / 78 preparing to jump onto the roof and remembers his position, he was standing on the wall, his hands were able to grab the roof and with a jump and slight pull with his hands he landed safely, but how does he reverse that? He concedes this is another item to add to the “risk” plan. He searches around for anything that might aid him, and soon discovers he will have to take the risk of making noise. He rolls over onto his stomach, gradually easing his legs off the edge of the roof. He pauses several times to look for the wall, as he reaches the point where his belt assists in holding his body on the roof he can clearly see his feet are about 2’ from the top of the wall. If he keeps his body erect, one quick push with his hands should force his feet directly on top of the wall, but if he misses he will fall straight down on top of the cases of coke. He momentarily considers adjusting his position to a different location away from the cokes, but realizes his body is slipping off the roof, it is now. He must make his move now or fear losing this excellent location. He takes a deep breath, pulls his legs under the rooftop and as he swings them outward toward the wall he pushes with his hands and lands firmly on the wall top. His hands continue to hold the rooftop edge as he gathers himself. “You’re a bad mother fucker,” he thinks to himself as he smiles and nods his head in approval. He quietly steps on the coke cases and they rattle lightly but not enough to concern him. He slides the cases back into their original position and heads to the chain link fence. Once through the fence he pulls out his zip tie and fastens two quickly placing the fence back into its normal state and steps onto the sidewalk heading back to the park. Jackson is well pleased with himself, not just for having the balls to climb up there, but more importantly for taking the time to review his tactic, review his plan, do some true assessments and confirmations. He also realizes, he is proud that he didn’t panic while trying to get off the Hobbs / El Machete / 79 roof. He made a logical decision and committed himself. As he reached the park he notices four young boys sitting on a bench, likely smoking weed, Jackson thought. He was immediately concerned they may have seen him but more importantly, he was unaware they were there which could cause a problem later. They do not appear to be “Hawks,” because they are not paying attention to their surroundings. “Just teenage boys hanging out on the streets at 11 P.M. on a Tuesday night, what could be the harm in that?” Jackson mused. As Jackson approached them, he could see they noticed him and as one of them started towards him he had a slight hesitation, not of fear, but to develop an excuse for why he was in this part of the town and at this park. “Hey Gringo, what’s up man?” said the young boy of 13 or 14. He was small, but beamed of personality and confidence. “Nothing man,” Jackson responded in an avoiding manner. “You looking for something? My name is Pepe, I can get you whatever you need,” he said with great emphasis on “whatever” and “need.” Jackson’s concern grew as it was apparent Pepe was not going to leave him alone as he walked along side towards the SUV. “Really man, I can get you what every you need,” Pepe said in a whisper. “No, I’m good, just out for a walk,” Jackson responded becoming somewhat perturbed. “You need some smoke? Maybe some blow, or H-train? Man I can get it all for you. Just give me a little money.” Pepe paused, moving in front of Jackson and looking directly at him. Hobbs / El Machete / 80 “You want a girl? I know some girls. You want an old gordo with some big chichis?” Pepe continued using his hands to form the outline of huge breasts. Jackson continued to walk, trying to ignore the young boy’s persistence. “You want a young girl, Julio’s sister is hot. She’s only 15 and will let you fuck her in the ass for twenty bucks. Just let me know what you need, I’m your man,” Pepe proclaimed. Jackson completely shocked by the words and a little stunned by the young boys lack of any social conscious shook his head in disbelief and continued to the SUV. As reached the vehicle he felt he couldn’t open it quickly enough when one final barrage came from Pepe. “Dude we are here every night, so if you need anything, just let me know, okay?” “Sure little man, I’ll let you know if I ever feel the need to fuck a 15 year old in the ass for twenty bucks. Holy shit what is wrong with this fucking country?” Jackson thought to himself and climbed into the SUV. Hobbs / El Machete / 81 Chapter Eleven “…” Notes: He develops a simple of wait and shoot. He spends nearly a week on the rooftop of his adjoining neighbors house tracking the movements and finds that at between 1 and 2 a.m. each night he comes home, has sex with a young girl, likely a hooker, stripper or some type of narco-groupie. He finds that he likes to fuck his girls from behind up against the window of his bedroom. An act of arrogance and power, but giving him a perfect shot from the rooftop. Jackson has spent the last two days, rehearsing his attack, from the intelligence he received from Isabella, he feels confident, “El Gallo” will be at the El Chaparral Western Bar on Thursday night, and if according to all past references he will return around 3 A.M. to his house on with a stripper or some other narco-whore and Jackson will have his clear shot into the second story bedroom window. His plan has been played out in his mind nearly a hundred times over the last few days and there could be very little room for any mistakes, mistakes that either he has made in assessments or mistakes which crop up at the last minute. He is neither proud of his planning or his intentions, he is only driven to kill him. He was shocked to learn that after 6 P.M. the young boys were replaced by Police Officers or older boys in their late teens. He confirmed this when he actually saw them hand over their Nextel cell phones. First amazed at the openness in which they operated and then not surprised either. This could make things more difficult, but only his arrival and departure since the butcher shop provided excellent cover from the street and there were no homes nearby that were two levels, giving Jackson a near perfect attack point. He misses on his first shot and draws significant attention to his position, he quickly takes a second and third shot, however, this time the target is moving. He finally hits his target along with both guards that are waiting outside by his SUV as the jefe is trying to escape the house. Jackson is overcome by the emotions of being near-death in a shootout with cartel warlords and barely makes it back to his house. He shakes and vomits for hours then proceeds to get drunk and cry the rest of the night. Jackson arrives back at the hotel in a state of disbelief. His mind is racing, he’s sweating profusely and yet his heart rate seems normal. He pulls into the parking stall, kills the engine and pauses in an effort to gain control. He breathes deeply several times and focuses his mind only on the bogenvilias that are draped over the fence in front of him. He can go through all that has transpired later when he is alone in the room, but first he must compose himself before entering the hotel. He can’t risk being noticed and in this state he surely would be, at a minimum Hobbs / El Machete / 82 by the security guard at the front door. So he waits, and focuses on the blossoms, the vines, the thorns, he stares so long he feels he can smell them from inside the SUV. He is ready now. Once inside the room, he grabs a warm beer sitting on the table and downs the remains. To say he is shocked goes beyond words. The focus and triumphant glee he felt after leaving the roof was soon dashed by the horrific words of a young teenage boy. He feels a sense of shame for the boy’s parents, if he even has any. How can a young boy be so far removed from society and social norms, and then it hits him, “what fucking social norms?” It is apparent this is the social norm for this kid. This city is filled with or built around drugs and the supporting cast of kidnappers, murders, corrupt police and politicians, who knows what his parent are like or if they are even present in his life. He feels sorrow and guilt for growing up in a completely different world. Jackson spends the rest of the night documenting his assessments and as he worked through his list he found he only needed to confirm a few more things. Primarily he needed to confirm the location of the “Hawks” at different times of the day. He saw that one had been replaced by a uniformed Police Officer, so there could be more that are off-duty cops. He also needed to see his position in the day time to see how far back someone could see onto the roof of the butcher shop. By the time he had detailed his findings he was well on his way through a second six pack of beer and it was nearly 4 A.M. He was pleased with himself for his diligence and that he was now accustomed to the different time. Jackson woke late, nearly noon, and while his head pounded from the sugary beers, he knew he needed to get up and finish his daytime recon. This would allow him time to take a nap later before going out to confirm the night time locations of the “Hawks.” He felt concern that he had Hobbs / El Machete / 83 been using the same vehicle to drive around the neighborhood for fear that someone might have noticed him. He also had concerns about the location of where he would place it during his “kill night.” He pondered the situation for quite some time and concluded two vehicles would be better. He would rent a second vehicle there in Juarez, use that today and tomorrow night stage it in the park since the boys had not seen that vehicle. Jackson took a cab to the airport and picked up a Chevy Malibu which he felt would fit perfectly. He drove directly to the butcher shop and surveyed it from several distances and angles while still remaining in the car. He could see the “Hawks” and didn’t want to spend too much time there, but if he was to be spotted he would clearly be looking at “Gonzalo’s Carneisera.” Later that night he went back to the neighborhood one last time to confirm the locations of the “Hawks” and with minor differences they were in the same locations as before. He continued on to the butcher shop and parked the car at the park near where he had parked the SUV, he would then only need to find a place to park the SUV on Thursday night when he would climb onto the roof and kill “El Gallo.” Jackson woke at 11 A.M. nervous, nearly shaking from the anticipation of that day. He would need to steady himself, it was going to be a long day, he was sure of that. He laced up his running shoes and took off down out of the hotel. He would not go anywhere near his target today, there was no need to take any chances. He ran along the main road but felt too uncomfortable with the cars so close to him and decided to break off to the back streets of Juarez. He ran and listened to music on his iPod. He was alive, he was vibrant, he could breath. Mile after mile brought about new sites, woman sweeping the fronts of their houses, garbage Hobbs / El Machete / 84 trucks clanking as the men emptied the cans in the truck and causing car alarms to go off as it drove near them. This seemed normal and Jackson wondered if Pepe lived here but quickly washed the thought away as he was certain these people cared about their lives and likely their children as well. Jackson returned to the Hotel after only 5 miles, he didn’t need to be strained later in the day. He spent the remainder of the afternoon reviewing all his material and watching TV. He needed simplicity and calm; he knew he would have enough excitement tonight. He sat talking with the girls for several hours and yes he understood their concerns, but he could prove to them he had things well in hand and he was both mentally and physically prepared. It took some time, but they conceded and gave their support. Jackson was relieved and drifted off to sleep around 5 P.M. He woke at 8:15, and quickly showered. He grabbed three one liter water bottles and opened them then retightening the lids. He then grabbed four chocolate granola bars and tore off the plastic packaging and placed them in the backpack along with the water. He would take no chances trying to open something on the rooftop that could make noise. He was ready, mind focused, it was his day. Before he left the room, he thought briefly, what if I’m shot or caught or should I pack the SUV and leave tonight directly after the kill? He rationalized quickly if he’s shot, he’ll likely die and therefore identifying his body was a mute point. A packed up SUV parked on the street would certainly draw attention, no, he would return after the kill, and leave tomorrow. He reaches the park shortly after 9 and drives around it only once, to avoid drawing attention. The “Hawks” are all posted, there is no one in the park, and no one on the streets, it’s go time. Hobbs / El Machete / 85 He parks the SUV four houses down in front of a house where music is playing loudly, and can use the cover of their party to hide the vehicle. He grabs the backpack and rifle case and makes his way quickly to the back of the butcher shop. He feels confident no one has seen him. Two quick snips of the zip ties and he swiftly moves to the side of the wall, he can hear children talking and his concern level heightens. He moves the coke cases into position and scales the side wall grabbing the rooftop in nearly one motion. He pauses to ensure he remains invisible to the street and anyone passing by. He slides the rifle onto the rooftop, pushing it to the right allowing him room to land. He bends his knees slightly and leaps pulling with his hands as he jumps. His left hand slips out from under the gravel and dirt on the roof and he lands on his faces scraping his noise and chin as they grind along the surface of the roof. “Fuck!” he yells under his breath. The pain is strikingly strong, but he immediately realizes there is no reason to stop and gathers himself to his knees for the crawl to the front of the roof. Once there he pauses allowing the slight commotion to calm down, if there was any chance of him being noticed he wanted to know it now, not four hours from now. He quietly slips the backpack off setting it beside him, he barely even moves, not even his head. He feels a stinging burn on his face but resists the temptation to wipe away any gravel or blood that may be there. He waits and listens. After nearly ten minutes, he feels it is safe to continue his preparations. He crawls back to the side of the roof and grabs the rifle, he lifts it carefully placing his right hand on the handle and left on the case to ensure there is minimal noise from the gravel. Once he reaches the front of the roof, he moves to his shooters corner and places the case down gently. He reaches for clasps and with firm hands slowly releases them. As he opens the top of the case the foam inside makes a slight noise as it leaves the impression of the rifle, but he is sure it is only a sound he Hobbs / El Machete / 86 could have heard. He reaches for the rifle and takes his shooters, checks the safety, and takes a shooters position. This is the first time he has ever held a weapon with the intention of using it on a living thing and yet he is not scared or nervous. He raises the weapon up, placing the stock on his shoulder and lowers his head to look through the scope. He is composed and no longer feels the sting on his face. He scans for the window and quickly finds his target shot; amazed at the clarity, as if he is standing three feet away and staring into the window. He purposefully scans the entire house to ensure there are no other guards. He finds nothing unusual and slowly lowers the weapon. And now the wait really begins. Jackson has no illusions that he will get lucky and “El Gallo” will come to the house early and he can be done in an hour, no, instead he will be lucky if he comes there at all. He is prepared to wait until 5:30 A.M., and then leave to come back tomorrow night. His will is strong, his mind focused, he will be patient and ready. “Only God can save you now, you piece of shit mother fucker,” Jackson thinks. Hobbs / El Machete / 87 Chapter Twelve “El Gallo is dead” Jackson patiently waits, he finds different positions to sit and rest, he stretches regularly and resists the temptation to keep picking up the rifle and looking through the scope again and again. He is disciplined with his determination. He keeps busy as the hours pass thinking about the girls, but will not talk with them. They cannot be up here with him – he is afraid they will break his concentration or worse, talk him out of what must be done. He rarely checks his watch, fearing the boredom may deter his commitment. He had never checked on the scrapes on his face, but since they no longer stung he was certain it was not too bad. He wonders if there will be scares, but truly doesn’t give it much thought. His mind has begun to wonder and it worries him. He adjusts his position again, trying to find something comfortable, but not too comfortable as he is becoming increasingly more tired. His eyes have begun to burn as they strain to see in the darkness. LATER IN THE CHAPTER The first black SUV drives by at nearly 2:30 A.M., he can tell it is “El Gallo’s” by the loudness of the music. According to the intelligence from the police reports, it should drive around the block once or twice then wait on the corner opposite the house. From there they will call to “El Gallo” and he should be here in ten minutes. Jackson swiftly moves to his position, grabs a final swig of water and reaches for the rifle. He removes it quietly from the case and kneels. He knows it is not likely “the target” will get out on the street, but rather will go in through the garage, so a clear shot will have to take place only through the bedroom window. He estimates the time it will take, ten minutes for them to arrive, maybe another two or three to get Hobbs / El Machete / 88 into the house, a few minutes downstairs getting a drink, in total, 15 to 30 minutes before he has his shot. “Only 15 to 30 minutes before you die,” Jackson says slowly and quietly. Nearly on queue, ten minutes later Jackson can see the caravan driving quickly down the street, far to fast for a neighborhood even at this early hour. The garage door begins to open while the two SUVs are still 100 meters away, alarming Jackson as to the potential of someone else inside the house, but he accepts that it was opened from the SUV waiting at the corner. The two SUVs whisk into the garage and it closes behind them, the third pulls up and blocks the driveway. Jackson pulls the rifle up and looks through the scope. He can see lights coming on and even hear music getting cranked up. He could not see how many men, or woman for that matter, were in the vehicles but can assume at least two men in “El Gallo’s,” along with his whore, then at least three, but more likely four in the second vehicle. There would likely only be two in the outside vehicle guarding the house. Jackson takes this moment to scan for the “Hawks,” to determine if they have changed their positions. He can see that nothing has changed on the street; strangely everyone has accepted this ritual as the norm of living next to a murderous, extremely dangerous narco-psycho. Jackson returns the scope to the window and prepares himself. His adrenaline has begun to pour into his veins and he can feel it and see it with the shaking of the lens. He adjusts his position placing the barrel on the ledge to ensure he can keep it steady. He is cramped in this lower position, but has remained a clear shot into the window, he only needs “El Gallo” to show himself. Hobbs / El Machete / 89 Inside the house there is yelling, but the Spanish is so fast Jackson cannot understand what is being said. Within seconds the front door opens and three guards come out, as if they were told, “get the fuck out!” or “make yourself useful and guard my house bitches!” Jackson imagines. Moments later he sees the light come on in the bedroom, “it’s time,” Jackson says in a voice louder than he would have liked. His heart begins to race, his hands no longer shaking, now they are sweating. He can feel the sting and itch of his scratched up face, but remains focused. “You have about ten minutes, Puto, make it good,” Jackson says in a whisper. With that he readjusts himself to a more comfortable position, one he can withstand for the next ten minutes. He is ready. Seconds later he sees the girl for the first time, she is young, of course, and quite beautiful. She has long curly black hair, he can’t see her face clearly but can see her body from the waist up. She is wearing a short skirt, much like a school girl’s uniform with a white shirt nearly completely unbuttoned to show off her giant tits. She walks across the room and Jackson knows “El Gallo” is certain to follow, “maybe this is my shot,” Jackson thinks. And there he is, “El Gallo” walks into the center of the room and grabs the girl, kissing her deeply and hard. He has what looks like a tequila bottle in his right hand and grabs the girl’s ass with his left. He breaks from the kiss and takes a deep swig, then grabs her face and forces her to take one as well. “This is a fucking animal,” Jackson thinks. Jackson can feel himself becoming absorbed in the action of the room, and moves his eye away from the scope to clear his thoughts. He is here to kill this man and nothing else. “Focus,” he tells himself. Hobbs / El Machete / 90 Just then, “El Gallo,” grabs the girl from her neck and pushes her to the window. He slams the tequila bottle on the window sill causing some to splash out. From behind her “El Gallo” kisses he neck and massages her breasts; Jackson begins to become aroused himself. “God damnit, focus,” he says again, only this time loud enough to hear. “El Gallo” continues his way with the young girl, now forcing her hand down to his crotch. Jackson scans for a shot as his heart rate increases dramatically. He removes the safety and puts the weapon in semi-automatic mode. The sweat beginning to well in his eyes and his vision is becoming blurred. He pulls back to wipe it away with his sleeve then resumes his position. He watches as “El Gallo” rips open her shirt with both hands and slide is hands under her bra. “Still no shot,” Jackson thinks. “El Gallo” then reaches under her skirt and yanks her panties off. Jackson’s heart is pounding now. He watches as the man that killed his family unbuckles his belt and shakes his jeans down. “Still no fucking shot,” Jackson mumbles with teeth clenched. With one quick move, one he has likely made hundreds of times, “El Gallo” rips off her bra and slams her face and chest against the window forcing her to bend slightly at the waste. Jackson can see he has entered her by the grimace on her face. “Mother fucker, you’re gonna die before you pop a cap in that skanky whore’s hootchie,” Jackson says loud enough to be heard from ten feet away. With that Jackson determines to shoot, “find the shot,” he thinks, “wait, for it.” He feels he may lose control of his ability to shoot if he doesn’t take the shot immediately. The shot appears as “El Gallo” moves slightly to the girls left side opening up a clear chest shot. Jackson’s hands are throbbing and shaking violently as he takes a deep breath, “steady, Hobbs / El Machete / 91 aim, FIRE!” he tells himself. The bullet rips through the barrel, while the shock of the recoil causes Jackson to lose his site. He hears the window shatter and the young girl scream. Jackson quickly regains his site on the target. He can see the girl has blood on her face but cannot see “El Gallo.” “Did I hit him? Is he dead?” Jackson said in a low dull voice. He remained poised as the guards jumped from their vehicles with guns out. They did not see where the shot came from and two of them aimed their guns down opposite ends of the street. Jackson quickly regained the window in his scope and could see the girl becoming hysterical. Her head was moving from side to side as if someone was moving in the room. “Fuck I missed” Jackson whispered. His heart pounding nearly out of his chest and he felt nauseous from the adrenaline rush. He certainly couldn’t last much longer and the desire to scurry down from the rooftop and jump in the SUV and get the hell out of there was becoming overwhelming. “Stay focused, you can get one more shot,” he thought. “El Gallo” could be heard yelling in Spanish to his men, and then popped his head out the shattered window, quickly, too quickly for a shot. “One more time, bitch,” Jackson said. “El Gallo” yelled at the girl and she ran across the room, as he crossed in front about ten feet from the window obviously thinking the shooter was on the street and couldn’t see him. It only took Jackson a second to see his final opportunity to kill the man that had taken his life. “Crack” as Jackson could see it flash from the barrel penetrating “El Gallo” in the chest and throwing him back several feet. He was dead, Jackson was sure, he could feel it, and he knew it without question. Within seconds the guards began shooting in nearly all directions either in an Hobbs / El Machete / 92 attempt to protect themselves or to draw out return fire and the shooter’s location. Jackson remained in his poised shooter’s position more out of shock than to get caught up in a gun fight. His mind was calming and slowing, yet his body was still full of adrenaline, an overwhelming level and without warning he puked on himself. Laying the weapon down quietly to avoid giving away his position he vomited again, this time louder. Jackson’s concern for his safety was becoming heightened. He reached for the water bottle and took three small sips, just enough to calm himself and clear his throat. He waited only about five seconds before he began his way to the side of the roof. He had never intended on taking the weapon nor the backpack with him as he only had two things in his pocket, his keys and a small amount of cash. His descent was quick and sure, he got to the fence all within seconds and was out onto the sidewalk and could see the SUV. He tried to remain casual about his walk, but could hear people beginning to make noise as the gunfire on the other side of the block continued. He had only 50 meters to go, and then 30, then 10; he finally reached the SUV nearly holding his breathe the entire time. He slipped in without being noticed. The party that he had parked near had people scrambling out of the house, but they were going towards the other end of the street and did not see him as he pulled away from the curb and slipped into the night. Hobbs / El Machete / 93 Chapter Thirteen “in breaking news…” Jackson woke from a drunken slumber, the first real deep sleep he had had in over three weeks, but this time it wasn’t from the “piece of mind” he had found, no, it was from the exhaustion of over-adrenalized puking, drinking until he was numb and begging the girls for forgiveness till late in the morning. His “piece of mind” will come later he assures himself, but today he needs to leave this city. He came here for one purpose, which he had hoped would give him back his life, or allow him to start a new one – either way was fine with him, he merely needed change from where he was after the girls died. He was still in shock as he rolled out of bed, a bit more than disgusted with himself, he had no feelings of glory for his kill, although he was sure he made the city of Juarez a better place, maybe even the country of Mexico and possibly the U.S. as well. He was neither proud nor relieved, but he was no longer angry. Maybe the other emotions would come along later as well, he assumed. When he arrived back to the hotel he raced to his room, more driven by fear than a concern someone would notice his appearance, sweaty, dirty, face skinned up, vomit on his shirt and pants, he most certainly looked like an American who had a good time in Juarez. He had not showered nor taken a good look at his injuries yet, but like his emotions he was sure they would heal later. But he did stink, a smell Jackson had never smelled on himself before. Maybe because he went into the depths of the “shit” in Juarez and brought some back out with him. Jackson would clean that “shit” off later, first he needed coffee, an aspirin, likely two and a smoke. Jackson took his time in the shower, hoping the warm water would wash away his pain and guilt, and it did in a small yet not insignificant way. He still had not looked at his face, and it Hobbs / El Machete / 94 wasn’t until he finished his shower did he see the scratches that extended from his forehead to his chin, and he chuckled because the only words that came to mind were, “oh, that’s gonna leave a mark,” thank you Chris Farley. He was ready to leave ten minutes later, his bags already packed from the previous night, he only needed to add the toiletries from today and he was headed downstairs. He was tempted to turn on the news to see if “it” had hit the American news wire yet, he assumed it had since there were so many Americans living here in Juarez and “El Gallo” was a pretty famous drug dealer, but he resisted. He resisted because he needed to be away from it, he needed time to digest it first, then he would watch it on the news – “hell I had lived it, all the news reporters could do was fuck up the truth,” he told himself. He had paid his bill, in cash as planned, and easily slipped into the noontime traffic of the city. He had ensured the tank was full, in case he needed to drive through the night, so there was no reason to stop, well except he was in dire need of another cup of coffee. He pulled into a PEMEX station adjacent to the highway entrance mentally preparing himself for a 10 hour drive back towards Baja. Maybe he could make the 14 hours today, but likely he would be too tired. He parked on the side of the building which ensured a quick shot onto the highway, “just in case” he thought. “I need to get these fucking paranoid, ‘what it’ thoughts out of my head and start living normal again!” he thought harshly. He purchased a large coffee, a cinnamon pastry and a pack of smokes and was headed back to the car. Jackson fumbled with his coffee while making his way around the front of the store and nearly collided with an older boy, maybe 19 or 20, leaving the bathrooms and equally not Hobbs / El Machete / 95 paying attention, trying to pull up his shorts. The boy had a slight build, maybe 5’7” and skinny, wearing baggy plaid dress shorts and a matching oversized shirt, his “truckers” hat sized to just barely rest on his head and of course partially sideways. Neither was paying attention and certainly didn’t expect someone to be walking on their direct path. Their near collision sent “Tehas” as most people would refer to him in Mexico, a wannabe “gangsta” of no significance, into an immediate thug-like role. He pushed Jackson spilling his coffee on him and muttered something in unintelligible Spanish. Jackson’s first instinct was to excuse himself for not paying attention, yet when the boy pushed him and pumped out his chest as if to say, “what mother fucker, whatchu gonna do?” Jackson had a different response. He looked down at the spilled coffee on his shirt and took a deep patient and long breath through his nose, as his jaw clenched tightly. His anger was focused and his mind cleared from his previous hung over state. Little “Tehas” not liking Jackson’s calm yet disgusted look at him through out his arms and stepped toward Jackson. The wretched stench of an all night of partying, a mix of beer, weed and tequila filled the air between them. Jackson could see in his nearly closed blood shot eyes this boy had one weapon, intimidation and he was not going to bite. But, if he didn’t back down, little “Tehas” was going to learn of Jackson’s weapon, two inches taller and probably 75 pounds more of one angry “not taking any shit from some pussy-ass wannabe thug” Gringo! Jackson held his stare, his heart rate barely changing, he could see the boy’s mind begin to rationalize with the situation he was in, and possibly had he not been so wasted he would have made a better one choice than to reach for his pocket in a quick move. Jackson, without hesitation grabbed his arm with his left hand and planted his forearm deeply into his chest, driving him nearly off the ground into the wall Hobbs / El Machete / 96 about three feet away. Little “Tehas” slammed into the wall with such force, it knocked the air out of his lungs and Jackson grimaced at the stench of his horrid breath. Jackson then slid is forearm up to his throat driving it deep into the soft tissue of his neck and holding it there for several seconds under all the pressure he could muster. His airway would soon be cut off if Jackson didn’t allow him to breathe. Jackson stared at him and without words gently and slowly let the pressure off from his neck. Tears began to well in the boy’s eyes as he struggled slightly and gasped for air. Jackson still holding his right hand high above his head and with enough pressure on his neck to let the boy know he better not try anything else or he’ll likely get his “thug choked out of him.” Jackson slowly released his left hand and slipped it into the oversized shorts of the boy retrieving what ever it was he was going to use as a weapon. Jackson pulls out a small paring and snickers inside thinking, “you want to act like a badass with a fucking paring knife, you truly are the pride of a nation.” Jackson released his hold on the boy and jammed the knife blade into the crease between the bathroom door jam and the door. He slammed his hand hard against the handle snapping the blade like a twig and handed the broken handle back to the boy, turned and walked away. Jackson sat in the rented SUV for several minutes gathering himself and wondering why there was such a stark difference between his Mexico in Baja, or to be more specific in Rosarito, and here. His mind kept flashing through the scenes played out over the past week and then it hit him, “what if I was in DC, or Atlanta, or New York, the same things would have happened, only I would have likely been killed or at least gotten my ass kicked.” It seemed to make sense at this point, “poor people often live and act like animals but not all of them,” he concluded. Hobbs / El Machete / 97 As Jackson pulls onto the highway he realizes an important moment of his life, he has changed, he has changed dramatically, but was it the change he expected or wanted? His week in Juarez, albeit successful in one aspect left him decidedly more lost and unsure. He was sure of one thing; he would take control of the rest of his life. He had the money from Jenn’s life insurance and that would last at least a year before he had to find another career. He could always go back to the firm, the partners understood his need for a leave of absence, yet truly wanted him to return as soon as possible. “I have options,” Jackson thinks and smiles. Nearly two hours into his silent drive, Jackson relives the past several weeks and through it all is amazed at not only all that has happened but the change in him as well. He has become someone committed and driven. Even in the most dangerous of situations, he remained focused and planned each element with tremendous precision. He was unsure where his newly discovered talents would take him, yet he knew the girls were proud of the change, albeit not the method used to learn these new traits. He spent the next two hours talking and laughing with the girls, with Jackson repeatedly telling them, “did you see how I handled little Tehas? I bet his pissed his pants,” he proclaimed proudly time and again. He stops only to fill up for gas and grab some food, no incidents this time, thankfully. Jackson, seemingly talked out, turns on the radio and finds an AM News station. Having not heard any news in the last 24 hours, he wonders if the story has broke about “El Gallo,” and whether the reporters will actually get all the facts correct. His excitement builds as he waits through the sports, then weather, and realizes he has to wait for the cycle to run through before getting back to the important news, maybe even “Breaking News,” Jackson thinks. He faintly Hobbs / El Machete / 98 listens for the next ten minutes until it reaches the top of the hour and goes to commercial. Jackson can hear the news reporter begin the story and he quickly turns up the volume. “In breaking news this hour, shooting erupted in Juarez, just across the border in Mexico, between rival drug gangs killing at least ten people. Reports are unconfirmed, that “El Gallo” the reputed drug kingpin of the Juarez Cartel was killed by a rival gang in the early morning hours. Mexican police officials have confirmed nine civilians were killed including three teenage boys playing in a nearby park.” Hobbs / El Machete / 99 Chapter Fourteen “My name is Villegas, but I am not” Notes; Introduction of Lucho, a Mexican born American with impeccable resume. Born out of poverty in L.A., working hard in school to gain scholarships into UC Santa Barbara and then USC Law School. He chose corporate law, vice civil litigation because of the stigma of “ambulance chaisers,” and worked in Anti-money laundering and regulatory banking with the “big boys” of New York for several years, “cutting his teeth,” in corporate and legal banking. He then accepts a job with smaller, yet up and coming bank in California to be closer to his mother who is ailing. He is a strikingly handsome, Andy Garcia type. The eternal bachelor, with immaculate appearance and grooming, not a metro-sexual type, he is too manly for that. He has it all, the good looks, the intelligence, and the big successful corporate job. He has never been married but occasionally dates. He is quite and thought of more as a professional than a friend. It was considered a step down leaving N.Y. for L.A., but he sold it as something he needed to do for his mother who had sacrificed so much to get him his life, he would spend the rest of hers taking care of her. Esteban Villegas arrived at the front security desk of the American Bank Building precisely at 6:55 A.M; he would be signed in and up to his office promptly by 7, as always. His Brooks Brothers ashen-gray pin striped suit hung on his athletic build as if it had been taken directly off the perfectly shaped mannequin, yet he made it look even better. “Good morning, John” he said to the security guard at the front desk. “Good morning, Mr. Villagas” the guard responded, with the incorrect pronunciation of the Mexican name. Esteban, with a slight chuckle and smile, corrected the guard. “No, it’s Be-ya-ges, and pointed to the sign-in sheet, in Spanish the V is a B sound and the double LL is a Y. Think of it as Be-ya-ges, Beyages,” he corrected with a smile and without any sense of condescension. “Oh, Be-ya-ges, I’ve heard of that name before. Sorry, I won’t mess it up again, sir” said the guard in a cordial and professional manner. Hobbs / El Machete / 100 “Thanks, no problem, have a good day,” said Esteban as he smoothly walked to the elevators. “You too, Mr. Be-ya-ges,” saying it without a pause in the syllables. Esteban reached the fifteenth floor exactly at 7 A.M., he impulsively felt the need to rush to his office, he preferred to be logged in by 7, but resisted his controlling obsessive compulsive desires. As he walked to his office, he thought about the guard and correcting the pronunciation of his name, he initially was going to say nothing to him, but the guard seemed like a nice hard working man, and he didn’t want someone else to correct him who wouldn’t have done it as nicely. After all this is California and even a white person should know how to pronounce Villegas, certainly when they are an Executive Vice President and Assistant Director of the Legal Department. Esteban felt it was his responsibility to explain it, not someone else’s, as with all things in his life, he would ensure it was done correctly and professionally. He removes his jacket, as always, grabbed the hanger from behind the door, slides one side into the jacket, then the other, adjusting the shoulders to fit perfectly on the hanger before replacing it on the door. Within minutes he has settled in for the long day, by opening his calendar and reviewing his day, two meetings back to back at 10 and 11 AM, followed by another at 3 with senior executives on the status of the merger with West Coast Savings and Loan. He would need a few hours to review and prepare for this meeting. He was equally sure his staff although quite competent would need to complete some additional final fixes to the material he would present and therefore he would review with them at 12:45. It was nearly 8, before he set out for one of his two cups of coffee, he knew it was an addiction for most, but he mostly drank it to fit in with the others. He rarely even finished his Hobbs / El Machete / 101 coffee but felt it made him appear more common and approachable within the office setting. As he left his office, Leslie his secretary which he had inherited when he took the position six months ago, had already settled in for the day and greeted him, “Good morning, Esteban. How did it go last night?” she said in a very inquisitive voice. “Good morning, it was… it was nice. My mother will never quit trying to fix me up with daughters from the woman of her church, I just wish she knew Selma Hayek’s mother,” he responded in a soft engaging manner. “You know I have plenty of friends if you are interested,” she impulsively responds. “So you have mentioned more than once, no thansk, but thank you all the same,” Esteban insisted as he made his way to for his “commoner’s coffee.” Esteban quickly returned to his office without comment to Leslie, who always made him feel uncomfortable. It was the way she talked about him to the other secretaries, when she thought he couldn’t hear them, or maybe she wanted him to hear. The comments would range from, “he’s not gay, he’s too manly for that,” to “I’d do him in front of my husband just so he could watch a real man make me quiver.” Esteban would smile and think of them as harmless schoolgirl comments and yet Leslie was nearing 45 and likely on her third marriage. He had accepted her as his “inheritance” of the new EVP position. She was certainly competent and quick with a joke so he kept her. He didn’t like the fact that she had blind copy to all his emails, “to assist him with his workload” he was told, yet he was at work before she arrived, and stayed long after she left. It was nearly after 8:30 when he finally opened his email; he scanned for anything urgent from the only three bosses left in the company that were senior to him. He found nothing and Hobbs / El Machete / 102 ventured into the courtesy copies of emails he gets from the many projects, mergers and tax questions the legal department handled on a daily basis. His morning would be spent reviewing each email, ensure one of his many young lawyers were engaged, and if not he would assign to his legal assistant. He had spent nearly 30 minutes reading when he found an alarming one: “Mr. V. I found several samples of tile for the new bathroom, can we meet today during lunch to discuss and confirm which ones you want? Thanks, J Esteban’s heart began to beat rapidly and quickly responded: “I’ll meet you at 12 for lunch.” Esteban eased through the rest of the morning with anticipation for his lunch. He left his 11 o’clock meeting early giving him time to return to his office, check for any messages and head out for lunch. As he left his office, Leslie chimed in… “Who is J? And will you be back from lunch in time for the meeting with the staff about the merger?” Leslie asked. “J, is my contractor, I’m building out a new bathroom for my mother and I need to finish the selection of tile today so he can finish it this afternoon,” he said in a prepared statement. ”And yes, of course I will be back in time for the final walk through meeting,” he responded, however, this time in manner that said, “stop reading my personal emails.” Esteban reached the “In and Out Burger” fifteen minutes after leaving the office. He took a seat in the first booth available away from the parking lot and waited. Minutes later a beautiful Hispanic woman in her early 30’s approached from behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder to announce her presence. Hobbs / El Machete / 103 “Hola, Esteban, como este?” she said with a large smile showing her brilliantly white teeth. Esteban, startled and yet grinning with excitement nearly jumped from the booth to greet her. “Hola, bien, bien, y tu?” Esteban responded with a lavish smile across his face. They both chuckled as they hugged and kiss each other’s cheek. The only time they spoke Spanish to each other was during their greetings and the occasional joke that would lose its humor if spoken in English. “Maria, it’s really good to see you again. You look great” he remarked. He quickly took her in from head to toe, building a mental picture of her and comparing to it to the last time he had seen her. Her glistening black hair seemed longer and he loved it when she straightened it, she wore only a slight amount of makeup, as she didn’t need it, her clothes were stylish and yet age appropriate and hung on her curvy figure like a silk curtain. His gaze was broken when she responded. “Thanks, you too, you are always so sweet with me,” she said as she smiled at him. “Wow it’s been probably six months since we’ve talked, how is your life, and how’s the baby?” Esteban said with clear emphasis on the “baby.” “She’s almost three, so I don’t know if you can still call her a baby, but I guess she’ll always be my baby. She’s doing great; she has this strange new habit of staring at people. Like a new toy, when she sees someone she doesn’t know, and just stares and smiles at them. It’s quite bizarre,” Maria responded. “Ah, that’s great. I see she gets her inquisitive nature from her mother,” he replied. Hobbs / El Machete / 104 Their small talk continued for several minutes and there was virtually no intention of ordering lunch. They quickly caught up on the last six months each knowing there was very limited time for an in depth discussions about their lives. Their meetings had become semiannual over the past couple of years and a routine had settled in for them both: a tender yet heartfelt greeting, a brief update since the last time they met or talked, followed by a discussion on the purpose of the meeting, then the graceful and inevitable goodbye. It was all they could have together, yet they both cherished it deeply. “I know you don’t have much time, so I’ll get right to it,” Maria quickly broke the moment. “Go ahead,” Esteban responded with a simple head nod. “I’m worried, there’s something going on, did you hear about Juarez? El Gallo is dead, but the news is saying it was from rival gangs. What rival gangs? Nobody is taking credit, not even the Zetas. There were only civilians, some from a party and some kids at a park,” she explained in a voice that was out of place for her normal in control manner. “Yeah, I heard about it last night. To me, it looks like the government is finally really doing something, isn’t that what you wanted?” he asked in a calm and disarming voice. “It’s not the Mexican government, I’m hearing rumors the policia found an assault weapon on the roof across the street along with a backpack,” she stated with increasing concern in her voice. “If it was the government, they would have killed all of them and taken staged pictures for the press,” she interjected before he could speak again. “So what’s the problem, someone killed the piece of shit. Who cares?” he asked. Hobbs / El Machete / 105 “Something’s not right and I’m concerned, 10 innocent people were killed,” she said with full concern in her words even drifting into a whisper as she mentioned the “10 innocent people.” Esteban sat quietly for a moment and allowed her words and emotions to sink into his mind as he scrambled for any ideas. “I haven’t heard anything, I can reach out to him,” Esteban replies pausing to display his concerns with that idea, “We haven’t talked in a couple of months so it would look like I’m just checking in,” he replied showing concern for both her and the potential impact of his intentions. “No, no, no. Don’t do that, I just wanted to know if you knew anything?” she asked. “Nothing, but I usually only hear about things in the planning stages, never after the fact,” he lamented. They both sat without speaking for several minutes, both staring off in opposite directions with an attempt to think of the next step. “Look, honey, I have to get back, are you really worried about it?” he finally asked. “Yes and no. I know you have to get back, just… I don’t know, let me know if you hear anything, okay?” she said as she reached her hand out across the table to his. Her gesture lightened the moment and allowed them to enter the final phase of their meeting. “I will baby,” he said as he smiled and tenderly stroked her hand. They hugged tightly and kissed each other’s cheek. There time together was passing and always seemed far too short, but it was their time nonetheless. Hobbs / El Machete / 106 Esteban returned to the office at nearly 1, almost fifteen minutes late for the meeting he had called and yet he didn’t care. He entered the conference room where his staff was waiting patiently, apologized, took his seat at the head of the large conference table and declared the meeting would begin with his simple words “Go ahead.” The rest of the day would have been mind numbingly boring had it not been for his meeting with Maria. He was concerned for her, because she was concerned and yet there was nothing he could do. He had relived this feeling for nearly ten years now, and although it was the only relationship he could have with her, he cherished it fully. As early evening crept in and darkness filled his large window overlooking the rows of empty parking stalls, he closed his laptop and sat quietly in his oversized leather chair while the memories of his childhood trickled into his consciousness. He could recall when he lived in Mexico and the other children wouldn’t let him play with them, “Eres un Villegas, no puedes juegar con nosotros,” (You are Villegas, you cannot play with us). He felt the shame and anger of his name again, but quickly dismisses it, thinking, “that is my name, not who I am.” Hobbs / El Machete / 107 Chapter Fifteen “they are waiting for you” Notes; Jackson is aghast as he listens to the news. Shocked by the words and barely able to continue listening as his mind races through what could have happened and what did happen and what he must have caused to happen. He slams his hands on the steering wheel several times nearly breaking it loose from the column. “No fucking way!” he screams. “It’s got to be the fucking reporters, they’re lying,” he yells in an effort to minimize his disbelief. He replays in his mind over and over all the details, then realizes the position of “El Gallo’s” crew, the people leaving the party to see where the shooting was coming from, yet he never saw nor heard anything from the park, but was certain the boys were probably there. “Holy fucking hell,” he yells again. “How could I have been so stupid?” he thinks to himself in a near blind fury. “I planned out everything to a “t” and yet never thought about what would happen later. I’m such a stupid mother fucker!” he slams his hand against the steering wheel again as he continues to rant within the confines of the SUV causing it to swerve violently on the near empty highway. Realizing he can’t continue to drive in this state he pulls off the road to the dirt shoulder and slams on the breaks, sliding and skidding almost out of control, yet he has no concern for his safety at this point. When the vehicle finally stops he is only partially on the shoulder with the tail hanging Hobbs / El Machete / 108 out onto the highway at least two feet, he jams the gear in Park, unconcerned by the potential danger he presents. His mind is racing with the images of last night and his complete and utter failure. His intentions were so selfish he had no idea he would have caused the situation to be worse than it was, and yet it is, ten times worse, one for each innocent person that died. Jackson sits in the vehicle unable to move, he had clicked off the radio when he parked the SUV, and now the silence was filling the cab – the silence and his distress. Sweat from the anger and disappointment began to form on his forehead and well under his eyes. His heart continued to pound for several minutes as he felt the life was being choked out of him – again. The life he had planned on recovering was slipping away – again. The girls were not with him now, and yet he was thankful, he could never let them see him in so much pain and despair, and never as such a horrific failure. Time had no meaning for Jackson now. He had only his emotions. He only had his overwhelming desire to die – again. He couldn’t cry but wanted to so badly. He thought deep within his mind, “if I could cry, I could get over this,” and yet there were no tears. His deepest despair was back, back with an unquenchable vengeance. After nearly 30 minutes of painful suffering, Jackson hears the horn of an approaching tractor trailer and looks in the rear view mirror. He can see the truck is coming up quickly and blocked by another vehicle in the left lane. “God let it end now, please,” Jackson pleads, gripping the steering wheel and closing his eyes. He can hear the desperate attempts by the trucker to honk his horn and blow the baffles of the engine as the vehicles gain ground. Hobbs / El Machete / 109 Jackson releases his grip on the steering wheel and empties his mind. He is ready. He can feel the ground begin to tremble under the SUV and hear the fast approaching car and truck. His heart does not race – he is ready. All at once he can hear screeching of truck tires, horns blaring and whoosh they blow by him shaking the SUV violently from side to side as the wind exhaust passes him. He looks up to see the truck swerving back into the right lane allowing the smaller pickup to move back off the right should onto the highway. There is dirt flying everywhere and he can smell the pungent odor of the truck’s air breaks. He neither feels joy of living or remorse for nearly causing their deaths either. He is without thought of life. Moments later Jackson feels Bethy’s tender soul touch him. “Daddy, it’s okay, come back to the house. We are waiting for you.” Jackson pauses for a time, only allowing the thoughts of the girls to fill his mind. It takes several more minutes and then without hesitation, he reaches for the gear shift, places it in Drive and eases out onto the highway. Although emotionally exhausted he drives and will continue to drive throughout the day and night. He will not stop until he is home with the girls in Baja. He needs them now, more than ever, more than he has ever shown, more than he understands. The night drags on as Jackson reaches the coast; he passes south of Tijuana and comes over a crested hill to glimpse his first view of the Pacific Ocean. His anguish subsides slowly and he exhales softly. He is no where near normal and unsure if “normal” will ever be a feeling he understands again. Although at less than a quarter tank of gas, he cannot fathom stopping again and continues onward towards home. He needs to be alone with the girls, he needs to feel their presence, their love and he needs them to heel his heart and soul. Hobbs / El Machete / 110 Within an hour he has reached the house and quickly gets out, he has nothing left in his mind, body or soul and only seeks the shelter of the house. He races to get in, fumbling with the keys as his heart begins to tremble along with his hands. He can only focus on one thing, “get inside, they are waiting for you inside.” After several attempts he finally gets the correct key in the lock, turns it quickly and pushes open the door. He falls in and crawls on the floor to the rug in the center of the living room, curls up in the fetal position and begins to cry. Hobbs / El Machete / 111 Chapter Fourteen “…” Notes; He reaches out to Isabella again, this time he learns about the people that make up the cartels, where they come from, their tactics of forcing people to be quite and even to become part of them. He reveals to Isabella what he has done, she does not believe him, so he sends her (via the internet) hours of video tapes he has taken. She asks why is he telling her this and he tells her he is going to do more. He needs her to write about his actions, this time telling the truth, or actually his portion of the truth. “El Machete” is born. He will use a “calling card” of a picture of a Machete used in the bingo-like game of Lottery. He decides on the machete from watching the Discovery channel and see Philippine farmers use a similar tool (called a parang) to clear a path in the jungle and for clearing away bad jungle growth allowing new growth from plants they can sell in the markets. This seems an appropriate and iconic tool to clear away the bad and allow for new paths. Hobbs / El Machete / 112 SECTION THREE CHAPTER X1 1. Targeting the money leads him to a small beautiful town outside of Monterrey which has been inundated by the cartels. They have changed the lifestyle for everyone. The tourism is down, the sleepy old Mexican town known for is beauty, century-old buildings begins to show signs of brothels, bars and even a casino is being discussed to be built. The mayor quietly tries to stop the cartels but the corruption and intimidation within city officials have overrun his influence and power. He fights back in a bold statement to the media and is kidnapped, tortured and killed. The cartels have nothing holding them back. A young man is working his way through the cartels ranks quickly and will soon become a lieutenant managing a stash house – used for stashing money and kidnap victims. He will have limited security guarding the house for fear of monitoring by federal police. His job is simple, guard the house and the money. Jackson finds him by accident, he moves into the town posing as a photographer – a common occurrence, and while drinking in a local cantina, Raul comes in flashing his money, new truck and girlfriend. It is obvious he is with the cartels, but what role is yet to be determined. After following him for a few days and seeing that he is checking out homes to rent, Jackson determines his role must be to maintain a stash house. He continues to follow him and discovers the location of the Jefe and spends the next week tracking both of them. He is careful not to talk to anyone, and uses his Italian heritage as a disguise to blend in as much as possible. He returns to the U.S. to buy the supplies he would need to get the information necessary to build his plan. He buys long distance high zoom cameras and very small wireless listening devices. His cameras will be placed on adjoining rooftops to capture the front entrance, into three bedrooms, the kitchen, living room and pool. His listening devices must be closer, he test how they can be used and what quality he can obtain by taking them to a park and dropping them on the ground next to a bench. No one notices them and the quality is good up to about 20 feet. He continues testing them on his own house and finds that a child’s spring loaded sucker gun can be used to affix the bugs on the to the arrow-like projectile and adhesive from a hot glue gun it will stick to stucco. He tests this on his own house and finds that if he can stick one near the window of the living room and kitchen windows he should be able to hear most of the discussions in those areas. He continues to test his shooting accuracy with the bugs which are camoflauged by toilet roll cardboard holders cut up to and painted with the device inside that resemble a pipe sticking out of the wall. He calculates his distance and makes simple adjustments to the spring to gain distance and velocity on his shooting. His weapon is a much more difficult decision and plan. He remembers watching CSI Miami where an assassin used a remote controlled rifle to kill someone. He begins his search on the internet and cannot find anything similar and realizes it is not something one my advertise because it is likely only allowed for military and CIA type forces, then Hobbs / El Machete / 113 an advertisement for “Paintball Wars” comes up showing a complete package to modify any paintball rifle to a remote controlled rifle. It is simple to install on any laptop with a wireless connection of up to 50’. There are only three parts to the kit, the scope, the tripod and trigger module, all adjustable to fit any paintball rifle. He finds an automatic rifle with a ten-shot magazine with silencer online which can be configured for the remote firing kit. He orders his the kit and drives to Texas to purchase the gun; he waits only 24 hours for his gun permit and purchases the gun, returning all within 72 hours. He begins to put together the remote kit on the rifle and to his amazement all the pieces connect just as advertised. He is careful not have the gun loaded as he remotely squeezes the trigger and hears the click of the firing pin. He has to adjust several settings on the software to control the amount of fire and is concerned that if he runs out of ammunition before they are all dead he will have failed completely. The next step is to calibrate the scope and test it end to end. His concerns deepen when he has to takes several measurements from the gun barrel, but the associated worksheet gives him places to make all his notations and seems fairly easy as he works through the details. He measures the width of the barrel to be 10 milimeters and annotates on the worksheet, next he attaches the scope and measures from the top of the barrel to the red line indicator on the scope which indicates the center of the scope and finds 27 milimeters, he now adjusts the manual adjustment for 5 millimeters for half the width of the barrel. “This can’t be that easy, hell anyone could do this,” he thought. He drives out to the desert only 5 miles away from the town. Sets up the gun and takes the associated target 10 meters away – this is the distance most paintballs are fired from without losing any velocity and drop in decent. He will use this to calibrate the weapon, then extend it out allowing for the increased velocity of the firepower of a real gun. A few minor adjustments at 10 meters and he is off hitting targets accurately up to 75 meters which is about 20 meters further than he expects he will ever have to shoot. During what appears to be a fiesta at the Jefe’s house it is apparent the guest of honor is Raul who proudly introduces his girlfriend to the Jefe. It is long known the boss has no boundaries and loyalty, above is expected. There were rumors of the tests the boss would impose on his newly ordained lieutenants and apparently this night would be one of them. As Jackson watched hidden from a hilltop with a large zoom video camera he could see into the Hobbs / El Machete / 114 SECTION FOUR CHAPTER X1 2. Isabella begins to write a series of articles and names the assissin “El Machete” because of the use of the machete by farmers to clear the land of unwanted weeds which strangle off the good growth. She eloquently ties the growth and future of a nation to the people and their need for a governmental “machete.” Her words will be read and believed by the readers because of her reputation as a writer of the truth. She thinks back, long before she was had to spend her career-life in anonymity for fear from the cartels. Her original works as a freelance reporter fresh out of journalism from USC she wrote several articles about the cartels and their cancerous growth on a nation. Although her stories were well read and respected nothing was done as she had hoped and intended. She continued to write from the safety of the U.S. and published a series of articles outlining how the cartels were organized and how their corruption and terror reigned on the people of Mexico. She had an inside source within the cartels and revealed the inner workings of leaders, their fights both within and from other cartels. Because of her in-depth writings she was forced to write them using a pen-name and could never openly take credit for her work out of fear of reprisal. She knew this when she began her career but hoped someday she would be able to make an actual career out of writing. She has spent the last 15 years writing local L.A. news stories about city planning, local politics and business, but when necessary and information became available would write about the cartels. “El Machete” would be her final group of articles. She had a family now and of course they didn’t know about her writings and how she had met her insider. As she writes the articles she is extremely concerned for not only his safety but those of the innocent victims which most assuredly will be impacted by his actions. She also realizes it is vital the Mexican people see and realize their life’s do not need to be controlled by the cartels, their future is not controlled by the cartels and they can break the bonds. She reminds her readers of the insiders that want out of the cartels, that felt they never had a choice in the life and will help when they feel it is safe. She thinks of “Lucho” as the young, strikingly hansom Mexican attending USC with her in the ‘70s. He was a law student as she studied journalism. They would spend hours talking about their life’s growing up as Mexicans in the U.S. It wasn’t until her senior year of college, long after their relationship had flourished into a dream of the future had he told her about his past. She recalled nearly every minute of that night. It began with him calling her in the afternoon and asking for her to meet him at Jockos Bar after his 7 o’clock class. She could tell by his walk which lacked the normal flow of confidence he usually had. She knew instantly there was something wrong, but hoped it was minor in nature. When Lucho sat down, he spoke quickly and surprisingly quite, he had rehearsed his words carefully and it was apparent. “Mi vida, (my life), we have been together for nearly two years and it is time I tell you who I am,” he said calmly. They rarely spoke in Spanish to each other, mostly only to tell jokes, and use loving pet names. Isabella didn’t speak, didn’t move and never changed her gaze at him. She was locked on his words, patiently waiting for the bomb. Hobbs / El Machete / 115 “This is going to be very difficult for me and I want you to know first off, I love you, and I have loved you from the moment I met you” he continued. “There are things about me you need to know, my family, well actually, my uncle “Baldo” in Tijauna is ‘Jefe de Jefe’ (boss of boss) of the Villegas Cartel.” His words were soft with deep emotional pain, much like those of a man telling his spouse of his infidelities. “I have to tell you this about me so that you can make your decision about us tonight. Right here, right now,” he said in an authoritative manner. “I am a part of the cartel and I will be for life. My role is simple, legitimize the money. My entire life has been away from anything illegal, so that I can go to the best schools in the U.S., and find ways to integrate the drug money into legitimate businesses. I am expected to get married and live the American Dream. And then I found you, and realize you are the American Dream and I am just a fraud destroying the life’s of my countrymen and the future of a nation. I don’t want to do it anymore, but there are no other options,” he explained. He continued describing how the cartel started in the ‘70s with his father Santos and uncle Baldemero who sold weed to Americans out of their father’s garage. When they were in their early 20s they realized they couldn’t make a living taking over their father’s garage and turned to trafficking up to the U.S. In 1978 his father was arrested and sentenced to five years in the U.S. for attempting to smuggle 50lbs across the San Diego border. While in prison in California he was killed by a Southern Mexican gang member. This was the catalyst to the Villegas Cartel becoming one of the most violent and controlling cartels in Mexico. The MEETING of the three of them. Jackson was already seated in the booth at the far left of the door (as he instructed he would be). He was wearing his Yankees cap so they would know who he was… he thought it was funny, yet not alarming to wear a Yankees cap in “Dodger country.” Isabella came in first, and he was impressed with her looks. She was neither perfectly dressed in the latest fashions like a real estate agent nor locked into a business suit of a reporter; she was strangely a mixture of both with a flare of casual. Her long black hair hung over her shoulders and she seemed to walk with a level of life experience and confidence. She didn’t seem of this world but more of her own but without arrogance. She walked in and within one glance around the room she came directly to the back booth and introduced herself. They greeted each other and commented on what they thought each would look like. Jackson asks how long they will have to wait for Lucio, and Isabella replies he already here sitting at the bar. He texted me when you came in and he felt you were alone. Jackson looks over to the bar and through the mirror behind it he sees what appears to be a businessman drinking a beer looking at them through the reflection. Esteban gives them a head nod and spins around to come over to the table. Jackson is immediately impressed by how handsome Esteban is, as if to think “how is this guy involved in the cartels, he should be a movie star or model somewhere.” Hobbs / El Machete / 116 The introductions are simple and although quite apprehension seems pervasive with the table the true ice is broken when Esteban speaks about the Yankees cap. “I guess you thought you were being funny wearing a Yankees cap here,” he said in a matter-of-fact tone. “I mean here in Dodger town.” “Well yes,” Jackson replied, feeling a little interrogated by the comment. “You’d be surprised how many Mexicans are Yankee fans, so it really isn’t that ‘out of place here,’” he commented. “So are you a fan,” I asked? “Of course, you see I like most everyone else appreciate greatness, not like the Dodgers or Giants or even the Padres. Sure they all win the pennant now and then, and maybe they put together a good team for a couple of years and maybe even win the World Series but they are not really serious about their commitment to greatness, “ he lamented. “So which is it, the power and rewards that come with ‘greatness’ or ‘the commitment to excellence’ you like best?” Jackson responded somewhat daringly. “It’s always the commitment to excellence, you see those will go the distance, the rewards come to them later, maybe even in another life,” he stunningly remarks. “Are you willing to go the distance or are you just here for the rewards of a good season?” he coldly asks. Jackson realizes his question isn’t about whether he can be trusted or even his commitment to their next strike, no it is much more. Esteban’s question asks about his life, is he willing to put it on the line forever. Jackson seemed to understand more in-depth about the plight of the Mexican people, it is not one act of courage it is a deep-seated believe that must be held long before one can face off with the cartels. FURHER IN THE MEETING after several beers and they become comfortable with each other…. “How did you get involved with writing about the cartels?” Jackson asks Isabella. “I mean you must have had many options and of course you knew the danger, so why go up against them. I guess what I’m saying is you are a beautiful woman, you could have had a job in broadcast news in the U.S. or in Mexico, hell you could have been the ‘leg show,’” referring to the super hot short skirt wearing weather girls of Mexican news stations. “Te las comas puto,” Isabella exclaims and jabs her fingers into her ribs and gestures them to me as she walks off to the bathroom. Hobbs / El Machete / 117 Esteban spews the beer from his mouth and begins to laugh uncontrollably. He puts a hand up to gesture Jackson to wait as he gathers himself. “What did she say, my Spanish isn’t that good,” Jackson said, knowing he had jokingly insulted her. “It seems all this testosterone filled man-jabber has removed her lady-like qualities,” he said as he regained control of his beer. “She said, ‘suck my dick, bitch!’” While Isabella was in the bathroom, Esteban feels it is his place to tell of the impact of the cartels to Jackson. “The better question is how cartels have impacted her life, because that is the true question of all Mexicans. It’s not the why are you involved, but moreover, what impact have they, or better yet, what was the severity of impact on your life that would compel you to do something?” He spoke in a lecturing tone, both showing his outstanding American education but mostly his intimate knowledge of all Mexican people. “She lost two of the most important things in her life to the cartels, but ironically, both by choice,” he explained while staring at his beer. There seemed to be a deep emotional tie to his words. “She lost her first true love and her career.” The words seemed flat, as if they didn’t require special emphasis of emotion; they could stand alone on their own merit – deeply profound, wounding even. Jackson intrigued but unsure how to respond sat quietly waiting for Isabella’s return, feeling it would be her place to tell more if she wanted. And the story of how the cartels so gravely impacted Isabella’s life and compel her to write articles about would remain unspoken for now. The three had drinks until late in the evening, all unsure of the next step, Jackson, although enjoying himself for the first time in nearly a year was becoming unnerved even after the nearly six-pack of beer he had consumed. “I have several important things to do tomorrow and a hangover isn’t really in the cards for me,” Jackson declared. “I agree, we have enjoyed the night and we should meet later in the week to discuss more any next steps,” responded Esteban, seemingly quick to leave. The mood change seemed immediate and without resistance from anyone. Their evening had been spent getting to know each other, drinking, a little laughter, but mostly a realization they are all in this together regardless of where it goes. Hobbs / El Machete / 118 NOTES His targets: 1. The trafficking Cartel, “El Jefe,” because he was responsible for his wife and daughter’s death a. Killed by assault rifle, very messy and dangerous b. Key points: i. He realizes he is not made out for a direct assault on a cartel. He is mostly lucky and they were careless. ii. He learns that the cartel retaliates against a rival believing they are the ones that killed El Jefe, six innocent people die, his efforts caused a bad situation to be worse. iii. He contacts the reporter, tells her what he has done and seeks more information on who to strike next. She explains how the cartels work with and against each other. iv. “El Machete” is born, a calling card will be left on his next strike. 2. Small town cartel, because they have destroyed a beautiful small tourist town and all the families that live or have lived there have been impacted by the drug cartel. Key target is the newly appointed lieutenant that guards the stash house and steal the money which will replace the money he has spent and allow Jackson to move on with his life since he has left his job and spent much of the life insurance money. They use kidnapping of tourists as their original money seed and use corruption of government and police to keep things going. To avoid suspicion the cartels use little security but also only allow him to protect about $1,000,000. a. Killed by automatic weapons remotely controlled from rooftops using laptops. Less risky, but expensive to buy, difficult to travel with and nearly impossible to recreate. b. Key points: i. His discussion with the reporter reveals he has done nothing to curb the cartels, “the ripple in the pond calms quickly,” she tells him. The money is still with them and more can be made. ii. He develops his next strike at the money. He learns how the cartels hold their cash in remote nearly empty houses guarded by one or two young soldiers hoping for a larger role within the cartel. The money is often hidden in fake walls or buried on the property. iii. He learns of the brutality and intimidation of the cartel leaders. The overriding desire for wealth and power within the cartels will allow virtually any behavior by the jefe to go unquestioned. 1. The near rape of a newly promoted lieutenant. 3. Next target is the young money guard, who impresses hookers and strippers with his cash. He is easy to follow and track to his home because he buys trucks and toys and throws parties at the cartel money house. Hobbs / El Machete / 119 a. Killed by siren gas (information on how to make it was found on the internet). A remote controlled gas powered helicopter drops balloons on the rooftop AC unit. He waits and sneaks in over the walls using a gas mask. By monitoring the guard from the rooftop using high tech surveillance equipment he finds the money is in a fake wall and buried in the cement floor. He takes the money from the wall and sends photos to the reporter who sends it on to the police. b. Key points: i. The money he gets and the police response is still not even a minor dent. ii. Money and power are the driving force of the cartels. The power is driven by the money and intimidation and fear of reprisal. iii. The money and large amounts must be taken along with simple uprisings by the people to put a dent in the cartels strength. 4. The final target. Isabella introduces him to Raul, the nephew of Jaun Carlos, Jefe de Jefe of Tijauna. Raul’s father Augusto and Jaun Carlos began the cartel when they were in their 20s, selling pot out of their auto repair shop which their father had left to them when he died. When Raul’s father was killed in prison by southern Mexicans Jaun Carlos vowed to ensure he would take care of Raul and his mother by keeping them from the violent side of the business. Raul was sent to the best schools in Mexico and even went to college in the U.S., graduating from USC with a law degree. His job in the business was to find and build legitimate businesses for the family. The problem they found was that with over the last 10 years anti-money laundering laws were dramatically impacted any type of businesses from getting started. The cartels, albeit cash rich with hundreds of millions of dollars, could only legitimize about 20 cents on the dollar and even that would take years and years to get into the Mexican or American banking systems. All his life he had known his father and uncle were major drug kingpins, and it seemed normal, he was proud of them. They had money and power and lived a life no Mexican kid could ever dream of living. Even at a young age he was respected and feared not for anything he had done, but because of his father and uncle. It wasn’t until he was in law school in the U.S. did he realize the impact of his families role on his country. They had destroyed a nation, paralyzed the people by impacting businesses from going to Mexico for fear of the cartels. His family had been a part of the generation scare on an entire nation… for the first time in his life he had felt shame. He knew deep down he would change all this, at first maybe he would legitimize the businesses and be a part of the rebuilding of Mexican society and international businesses, but over the last 10 years he grew to realize he was only perpetuating the existence of fear, intimidation, and choking off the people of his country. And then he read about “El Machete” and he knew his time had come. He knew the money, the problems cartels had with the money and laws that precluded getting any bulk input of cash into the Mexican or American banking systems. He wanted to meet with “El Machete” through Isabella to help. At first “El Machete” is extremely reluctant to meet with him, however Raul makes a bold move $500,000 to show his support, knowing that if it is discovered and eventually it will be, so now Hobbs / El Machete / 120 Raul is out it is just a matter of time. They meet and together they devise a plan to essentially steal at least $100,000,000 from his uncle’s empire. He researches thoroughly how to break through and hurt the cartels, it is money laundering that is their greatest ongoing concern. They have small businesses and casinos in Mexico to get their money into the mainstream, but that is limited when they have hundred of millions of dollars to move. He reads up on money laundering laws to see what holds them back from getting the money into the U.S. and realizes it is not just the U.S. that have restricted laws, only the Caiman Islands, Dominican Republic and the Swiss allow money to be deposited without concern for it’s origin. He develops a plan to steal $100,000,000 from the cartels by convincing them he has a friend that works in the banks and does international banking transfers which is not monitored by the U.S. federal government. His plan includes laying the idea of the cartels opening an account in the Dominican Republic or Caiman Islands and allowing him to transfer money (a small amount of 10,000,000) to show them Hobbs / El Machete / 121 Hobbs / El Machete / 122 FINAL CHAPTER Jackson, Isabella and Raul sat quietly without speaking for a long time, their only movements and sounds were of the sipping of their wine. They watched the waves crash on the rocks glistened by the falling sun. The Pacific Ocean in the summer time was a sight to be seen and never explained, Jackson thought. It was Isabella that spoke first, “Jackson, what is next for you?” “I don’t know, I feel free now and maybe that is enough.” “Freedom never comes without a price, as your country knows, but now you know that my country truly knows it as well,” said Raul. “You know, too many Mexicans believe in a false “American Dream,” he said in air quotes. “The American Dream is not money, or having things, or even opportunity – which honestly most people are not willing to work hard enough to succeed at anyway, the American Dream is freedom.” “What is next for you now that your uncle is dead?” Jackson asked. “There is no next for me, there is only a continuation of now,” Raul said quietly in a softer voice. “Now is all I have left, I wasn’t given any opportunity as a child to choose my life, and when I learned of what my family truly was, I still did nothing. I waited for years to find an opportunity to change things, but my hands are still just as bloody as my fathers and my uncles and everyone that has ever worked for them. You see, no one is innocent in Mexico or the U.S., no one. There is enough guilt going around to share for generations to come, and maybe that is how long it will take to clear out all the cartels and their influence. I waited quietly inside day after day, year after year and I never knew what I was waiting for, I only knew that I was compelled deep within to wait,” Raul lavished his point with deep emotions in his voice. “Why did you wait, what could possibly have kept you from doing something to help your countrymen?” Isabella said with a mixture of disdain and empathy. “I was waiting for a Machete” Jackson Billings woke early (again), to the cool morning sea breeze of the Pacific Ocean. It was nearly 6 a.m. and the brisk autumn air sharpened his thoughts and allowed him to envision the day. He would wake, have some coffee, no more than two cups to avoids the jitters, and walk on the beach at 7. He was determined to get back into shape after nearly five years of neglect. His mind continued to formulate the day’s potential events and realized it was not his decision, Jenn, his wife of 12 years, would soon rise and change everything, more appropriately dictate the day. Jackson, long since a neutered man, would resolve to himself his plans had little merit in their relationship. She would point out a few tidbits and begin to inflict her long-suffering manipulation tactics on him and he would ultimately follow blindly along with “the plan.” “Fuck-it” he thought and went back to sleep. Hobbs / El Machete / 123 Jenn entered the bedroom for the third time, however, this time there was no attempt to be quite. Briskly closing the closet door with no regard for the noise, she stared at Jackson and with mild disdain for his lack of adventure she announced, “Jackson, we are leaving now. We will be back this afternoon, please take care of the firewood it will be cold tonight and I want a fire for dinner. We’ll pick up some movies from the flea market. See you around 5.” A peck on the cheek was all that was left and she was off. Upon hearing the front door clasp, he opened his eyes. “Now what?” he thought. The morning is shot, I’m sure she left more than the firewood for me to do, no doubt a note with a list of tasks, followed by, “I love you” at the end – did she, he thought. He languished in bed thinking about her. They had met while still in college in D.C. while he was attending the University of Maryland – much to his father’s dismay. He was studying Information Technology and microbiology and she was at Georgetown University on a Public Relations scholarship. They met in a small Georgetown pub following the two schools playing in the NCAA sweet sixteen. Maryland placing a sweet ass-whooping on Georgetown gave him the courage to approach her. At first she was put off by his arrogance, but his self-deprecating humor quickly eased the tension and they talked. Surprisingly to Jackson, Jenn did not really caring about the outcome of the game and only went to be with friends and for the experience it might bring – this should have been a warning sign. But all Jackson truly noticed were her great tits, lushes lips and intelligent charm and whit – but mostly her tits. They talked for hours and she teased him incessantly with her breasts, leaning over allowing him to see her deep cleavage, brushing them against his arm while they chatted closely. They fucked hard and long that night, often she Hobbs / El Machete / 124 would give him directions on what she wanted with specific details on what she liked and didn’t. He responded by pleasing her again and again as she climaxed several times during the night. “Finally”, he thought, a woman who can tell me what she really wants – this should have been another warning. Jackson finally rose from the bed and turned on the shower, he would masturbate before allowing the rest of the day to crush his will and his gorging pecker. Jennifer Billings was in her element now, or one of the many elements she felt most comfortable with. If it wasn’t with her daughter 11-year old Elizabeth whom she loved so dearly, it was at work surrounded by those that listened intently on her every word, or in virtually any social setting where she was the life of the party always having a witty line or cordial sentiment. Jenn and Elizabeth enjoyed their time together shopping along the Rosarito tourist strip. Their neverending decorating and redecorating process of the new Baja cabin kept them busy every weekend they came down from L.A. Jenn had promised this would come to an end as soon as they found the right matching pottery for the new cactus in the front. Elizabeth didn’t care if they ever finished, she only loved that her mother treated like a friend while they were in Mexico, not the budding adolescent girl who needed to be aware of everything and everyone back in the U.S. She truly relished her time here and gave up many activities back in L.A. so that her parents would have no excuses but to come down on a regular basis. The shopping duo spent their day rummaging through the slightly and vigorously used trinkets and knick knacks available at the flea market. The Mexican flea markets provided a staple income for many Mexican families and offered significant purchase options for the consumers, the last remaining win-win in a down-turn market. Virtually anything could be Hobbs / El Machete / 125 found here, from pirated DVDs of movies video taped in theaters with hand held cameras to old pots and pans but mostly used clothing. They giggled like school girls when they would find a used blouse they may have owned years earlier. Their search today was originally designed for ornate ceramic planters for outside the house. They attempted to stay with the beach house’s current theme of terracotta but they soon looked at the colorful blue and yellow fire kilned pots and of course, as in the past they soon lost their way and purchased a mixed batch of several of each… they would make it work or buy more later. It was nearly 5 p.m. when the girls piled all their treasures into the Explorer and headed back to the beach house. The drive home would take 30 minutes along the scenic route and 15 to 20 minutes along the less scenic toll road. They rarely traveled the toll road because it seemed to take away the true reason they had their second home in Mexico, to experience the life, the ocean and the freedom all of which the toll road seemed to lack. Today was different, they were both exhausted and looked forward to getting home quickly preparing a nice dinner, and snuggling up next to the fire Jackson should have going and watching either of the two pirated videos they purchased. They barely chatted as they normally would, more intent on getting home. They reached their exit off the toll-road and pulled into the traffic line for the military checkpoint, about one kilometer from the beach house, normally they were glad to reach the checkpoint, as this meant two key things, the first being that 25 Marines – the untouchables of the Mexican military were present – the second was they were almost home. They had joked about buying the beach based on the armed Marines as 24-hour security, a little excessive for a $59,000 dollar home. Today the girls were eager to move through the checkpoint which seemed surprisingly slow for only a Hobbs / El Machete / 126 few cars in front of them. They commented the Marines must be looking for someone specific today. They rarely had any concerns with the checkpoint because the Mexican Marines were known for their complete lack of corruption to the drug cartels and politicians. As slowly as their line was the line to the right moved along quickly. Within minutes a black Cadillac Escalade with tinted windows pulled up along side them. A chill crawled up Jenn’s spine as she looked over at Elizabeth. They both knew it was a drug dealer but neither had the courage to speak. The Marine, a well trained professional also knew, his attention, physical stance and demeanor all changed accordingly. Jenn’s first concern was to ensure Elizabeth’s safety, and yet nothing had happened, nothing until a second Escalade quickly changed lanes pulling up behind them. She felt trapped, in danger and very alert to the impending scenario. As they pulled up to the Marine, he quickly ushered them through and they felt relieved as they attempted to drive away quickly, however, the car in front was barely moving. As soon as the guard passed them through, he stepped between their moving car and the upcoming Escalade. Jenn’s emotions began to scramble between fear and panic, yet attempted to remain calm as nothing had happened and there may be no cause for alarm. She took several deep breaths as the small Honda in front of them moved slowly as the driver grinded the metal on metal gears of the transmission. Jenn looked in the rear view mirror in an effort to gauge the true danger they were in and could see the Marine standing abreast the on coming Escalade with hand outstretched palm up. She knew he wasn’t there just to protect them, the Americans, from the potential of danger by the drug cartels, but was thankful he was there nevertheless. They continued to creep slowly away from the checkpoint, they had Hobbs / El Machete / 127 only reached a three car length distance when Jenn saw the black barrel of the gun through the passenger-side window and her heart plunged. The first shot dropped the Marine and ripped through the tailgate door of their Explorer, bringing screams and shear terror between the two of them. The second and third shots came from other line guards into the Escalade. Within seconds shots were coming from all angles, Jenn could barely think about which way to drive, she looked over at Elizabeth screaming for her to get down when the shattering of the back window broke her words. The bullet pierced through her back puncturing her aortic artery. Her screams were partially stifled by the blood pouring in her throat, she jammed on the gas and the SUV surged forward slamming into the Honda directly in front of them. Their vehicle bounced off hurling them into the intersection and oncoming traffic, instantly being met by the full force of delivery truck cruising along at 30 MPH. The impact slammed them into the guardrail crushed by the full weight of the truck. Jenn barely conscious could see Elizabeth was also badly injured but alive and awake. Elizabeth’s seat was dislodged and turned almost 90 degrees facing Jenn with the seatbelt dangling over her shoulder. Jenn was thankful for a brief moment realizing she would have been killed instantly by the belt had it not broken. She reached over to her, yet could no longer speak. Their eyes met with fear and pain, tears and blood strained their vision and they held each other’s hands as they slowly faded into unconsciousness.